Would you be annoyed with this? Birthday party RSVP for twins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I suspect you may be overthinking this. Assuming these are Evites--and my 4yo and 6yo have never, ever received a paper invitation to a party!--you got an email that said "Larlo is turning 4!" (and Larlo is in Twin A's class) and another that said "Larla's Birthday Party!" (and Larla is in Twin B's class).

I would not assume that only Twin A or B is invited, or that both twins are invited. I would assume, in JK, that the parents copied the class email list and pasted it into the Evite and hit send, and that was the extent of the thought process. They may not know that your girls are twins, or they may assume that you know that only the one in the class is invited, or they may assume you know that both are invited. Just ask. Also, our school has a mix of people who just invite the child's class and people who invite the whole cohort. Check the invite list to see.

(Obviously if these were indeed paper invites in the backpack, then just the invitee is invited. But I assume then you wouldn't be at all unsure about which girl the invitation was intended for.)

OP isn't unsure. From the OP:

"One of my girls has gotten one birthday party invitation for a kid in her class and the other has gotten two invitations for kids in her class. If you were the mom who had sent this invitation out, would you be annoyed if I asked if the uninvited twin was able to come?"

She knows which of her kids were invited, and which one was "uninvited" for each of the 3 parties. She just wants both of her kids to be able to go to all parties anyway, even though they aren't even in the same class, she doesn't know that they are friends, and, later, acknowledged that "it's possible that the birthday child has no idea the uninvited twin exists" (!). Because, you know, entitlement.

What OP is unsure about is how annoyed someone would be when a random parent comes up to them and "asks" to bring along extra kids. And the answer is very. But she doesn't like that answer. Because, you know. Entitlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I suspect you may be overthinking this. Assuming these are Evites--and my 4yo and 6yo have never, ever received a paper invitation to a party!--you got an email that said "Larlo is turning 4!" (and Larlo is in Twin A's class) and another that said "Larla's Birthday Party!" (and Larla is in Twin B's class).

I would not assume that only Twin A or B is invited, or that both twins are invited. I would assume, in JK, that the parents copied the class email list and pasted it into the Evite and hit send, and that was the extent of the thought process. They may not know that your girls are twins, or they may assume that you know that only the one in the class is invited, or they may assume you know that both are invited. Just ask. Also, our school has a mix of people who just invite the child's class and people who invite the whole cohort. Check the invite list to see.

(Obviously if these were indeed paper invites in the backpack, then just the invitee is invited. But I assume then you wouldn't be at all unsure about which girl the invitation was intended for.)

OP isn't unsure. From the OP:

"One of my girls has gotten one birthday party invitation for a kid in her class and the other has gotten two invitations for kids in her class. If you were the mom who had sent this invitation out, would you be annoyed if I asked if the uninvited twin was able to come?"

She knows which of her kids were invited, and which one was "uninvited" for each of the 3 parties. She just wants both of her kids to be able to go to all parties anyway, even though they aren't even in the same class, she doesn't know that they are friends, and, later, acknowledged that "it's possible that the birthday child has no idea the uninvited twin exists" (!). Because, you know, entitlement.

What OP is unsure about is how annoyed someone would be when a random parent comes up to them and "asks" to bring along extra kids. And the answer is very. But she doesn't like that answer. Because, you know. Entitlement.

I disagree. I think if parents are expected to stay for the duration of the party, it’s reasonable to ask to bring a sibling. If the host can’t accommodate, they say no. It’s quite simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I suspect you may be overthinking this. Assuming these are Evites--and my 4yo and 6yo have never, ever received a paper invitation to a party!--you got an email that said "Larlo is turning 4!" (and Larlo is in Twin A's class) and another that said "Larla's Birthday Party!" (and Larla is in Twin B's class).

I would not assume that only Twin A or B is invited, or that both twins are invited. I would assume, in JK, that the parents copied the class email list and pasted it into the Evite and hit send, and that was the extent of the thought process. They may not know that your girls are twins, or they may assume that you know that only the one in the class is invited, or they may assume you know that both are invited. Just ask. Also, our school has a mix of people who just invite the child's class and people who invite the whole cohort. Check the invite list to see.

(Obviously if these were indeed paper invites in the backpack, then just the invitee is invited. But I assume then you wouldn't be at all unsure about which girl the invitation was intended for.)

OP isn't unsure. From the OP:

"One of my girls has gotten one birthday party invitation for a kid in her class and the other has gotten two invitations for kids in her class. If you were the mom who had sent this invitation out, would you be annoyed if I asked if the uninvited twin was able to come?"

She knows which of her kids were invited, and which one was "uninvited" for each of the 3 parties. She just wants both of her kids to be able to go to all parties anyway, even though they aren't even in the same class, she doesn't know that they are friends, and, later, acknowledged that "it's possible that the birthday child has no idea the uninvited twin exists" (!). Because, you know, entitlement.

What OP is unsure about is how annoyed someone would be when a random parent comes up to them and "asks" to bring along extra kids. And the answer is very. But she doesn't like that answer. Because, you know. Entitlement.

I disagree. I think if parents are expected to stay for the duration of the party, it’s reasonable to ask to bring a sibling. If the host can’t accommodate, they say no. It’s quite simple.

And I’ll give the flip side. Most families have two parents. One can watch the one going to the party, the other can watch the others. If you can’t accomodate, you RSVP no. It’s quite simple.

I feel differently for single parent families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I suspect you may be overthinking this. Assuming these are Evites--and my 4yo and 6yo have never, ever received a paper invitation to a party!--you got an email that said "Larlo is turning 4!" (and Larlo is in Twin A's class) and another that said "Larla's Birthday Party!" (and Larla is in Twin B's class).

I would not assume that only Twin A or B is invited, or that both twins are invited. I would assume, in JK, that the parents copied the class email list and pasted it into the Evite and hit send, and that was the extent of the thought process. They may not know that your girls are twins, or they may assume that you know that only the one in the class is invited, or they may assume you know that both are invited. Just ask. Also, our school has a mix of people who just invite the child's class and people who invite the whole cohort. Check the invite list to see.

(Obviously if these were indeed paper invites in the backpack, then just the invitee is invited. But I assume then you wouldn't be at all unsure about which girl the invitation was intended for.)

OP isn't unsure. From the OP:

"One of my girls has gotten one birthday party invitation for a kid in her class and the other has gotten two invitations for kids in her class. If you were the mom who had sent this invitation out, would you be annoyed if I asked if the uninvited twin was able to come?"

She knows which of her kids were invited, and which one was "uninvited" for each of the 3 parties. She just wants both of her kids to be able to go to all parties anyway, even though they aren't even in the same class, she doesn't know that they are friends, and, later, acknowledged that "it's possible that the birthday child has no idea the uninvited twin exists" (!). Because, you know, entitlement.

What OP is unsure about is how annoyed someone would be when a random parent comes up to them and "asks" to bring along extra kids. And the answer is very. But she doesn't like that answer. Because, you know. Entitlement.

Did you really invite this much drama into your life? No one was “uninvited”. they weren’t invited, because they are not friends with the host.

I’m not sure why this concept is so hard for DCUM: an invitation is not a summons. If you do not like the conditions of the invitations (people invite, time, menu, date, venue), you simply RSVP no.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would be super annoyed at you ( yes, you would become that Mom ). If I only invited one of your twins to my child’s party that would be because that was the child my child wanted at their party. Frankly it’s rude of you to ask to bring the other child. Your kids are going to have to learn that they don’t come as a package deal to the entire world even If you feel they do. Take the uninvited child and do something fun during the party time as a one on one.

[Anonymous]

Casual observer here and wow, the majority of replies on this thread are terrible. Sorry for the rudeness OP. DC URBAN MOMS CAN BE SUCH B*%#?!S.

[Anonymous]

The parties my friends and I have always include siblings and we would take no offense to being asked. Maybe a little trickier with people you don't know well but I would think twins get a pass. I can't imagine telling one they couldn't go at this age.

[Anonymous]

I’m a mom of twins and at that young age-if I was expected to stay at party I’d only ask if it was an at home/whole class invited type of party where it was easier to accommodate. Otherwise twin not invited stays home w/other parent or babysitter, Grandparents OR you all stay home. Since they’re in different classes you are already doing a great thing and raising them as individuals not an unbreakable set: keep doing that!!! They’ll appreciate being seen as Larla and Larli-not the twins.

[Anonymous]

I have twins, and at that age, and they were typically in different classes so this happened. Oftentimes, for the most part, the parents made it clear both twins were invited -- either on the invite or when they saw me. Oddly enough, when one was invited, and I only showed up with the one who was invited I was inevitably told that they had expected the other twin too.

As a parent, I would not have minded if you asked but the parties at that age were always parents stay and I always invited siblings regardless of age, in light of my own experience.

In your shoes, if it's not clear who the invite is for, it's ok to ask. I don't think it's appropriate to ask if the other twin can come along. Take it as on opportunity to spend one-on-one time with the other twin if it's a drop off party. Or one parent stays with party twin, the other goes with the other twin.

One-on-one time with twins can be difficult to find until their older and doing different activities. It's very beneficial to your relationship with your child - so grab it where you can.

[Anonymous]

It may be that the other parent doesn't realise Larla has a twin. DD has a friend and I just realized (after 2 years) the friend has an identical twin. So there is that. But also - as the mom of twins - I understand that sometimes the invite is just for Larla. But I sometimes need to bring Larla's twin - I bring her along and tell her she is not to participate unless invited - if I leave the party for any reason, Larla's twin comes with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a bunch of bitches. Of course your twin would be invited if I was the host.

+1. Lots of hostile, miserable people here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are too quick to take offense. Good grief. Twins are a different situation than asking of if the toddler sibling can come, too.

In my school it was the custom to include the other twin (there a couple sets in my DC's grade) in any birthday invitation. I would not have thought of it myself, but I just followed along.

This. DH and I discussed this last night. I understand you shouldn’t typically bring siblings but twins at the same
School but in different classes are a special case in my opinion. DD has a twin in her class (who we know is a twin) and we included both on the invite. Otherwise it puts those parents in an awkward situation.

[Anonymous]

They're inviting the whole class. Only send the kid who's in the class. This isn't rocket science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a bunch of bitches. Of course your twin would be invited if I was the host.

+1. Lots of hostile, miserable people here

+1. This. People need to chill out.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is just the beginning of these invitations. You need to figure out a way for your uninvited twin to be ok with not going to the party. Many parents take the opportunity to do something special with the uninvited one.

We started getting separate invitations at 4 or 5. I found it was ok if they each got about the same number of invitations. When the invitations weren't even, I declined a couple birthday parties because it was too hard to see the crestfallen face of twin #2 that twin #1 was going. But after about 4-5 parties, the twins were fine with it and sometimes even preferred to be the one to stay behind with sole attention from the parent.