Would you be annoyed with this? Birthday party RSVP for twins.

[Anonymous]

I'm hosting a party next weekend and for the first time I wrote "no siblings" (in a nice way) because I was tired of having people ask if siblings could attend every other year. I felt like the a**hole saying no, but they were the a**hole for putting me in that position. If I said yes to one, I had to say yes to all and we had invited 20 something kids already. So far no one has asked, but we'll see if anyone just shows up.

I do always put the invited child or children's name on the invitation so people know who it's addressed to. I found that people didn't always pay attention to that, though, so that's how I ended up with the "no siblings" note on the invite.

There are a million threads touching on this and people are split, so you won't find a consensus here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I would say to you -“yes, of course, that’s fine. We are happy to have her.”

What I would say in my head if my child has no clue the uninvited twin even exists - “that’s incredibly presumptuous and rude. Do I look like a free babysitting service?” (Internal eyeroll)

OP here. I said the kids do recess and PE (both of which occur daily) together as an entire grade, so while it's possible that the birthday child has no idea the uninvited twin exists, it's also quite possible that they have played together on the playground and in the gym. Also, I wouldn't expect to be dropping my four-year olds off at a birthday party so I'm not looking for someone to "babysit" them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm hosting a party next weekend and for the first time I wrote "no siblings" (in a nice way) because I was tired of having people ask if siblings could attend every other year. I felt like the a**hole saying no, but they were the a**hole for putting me in that position. If I said yes to one, I had to say yes to all and we had invited 20 something kids already. So far no one has asked, but we'll see if anyone just shows up.

I do always put the invited child or children's name on the invitation so people know who it's addressed to. I found that people didn't always pay attention to that, though, so that's how I ended up with the "no siblings" note on the invite.

There are a million threads touching on this and people are split, so you won't find a consensus here.

I completely agree with you on the sibling thing. If my girls were different ages or never had interactions with the birthday child then I would NEVER ask if they could come. In this case, the uninvited twin (or maybe not, since there were no names on anything, just postcard-like invitations slipped into backbacks) actually knows the birthday child because they're in the same grade and the activities would be appropriate for their age since they're the same age as the invited sibling. I think people asking if a seven-year old can come to a three-year old's party are odd, but maybe I'm splitting hairs in my own favor, I don't know.

[Anonymous]

You can't invite yourself or someone else to a third party event. Even in preschool. ESPECIALLY in preschool. Period.

They only want the child at that party who they actually invited. If you don't know who that is, you should ask.

I can't even believe this is a serious question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm hosting a party next weekend and for the first time I wrote "no siblings" (in a nice way) because I was tired of having people ask if siblings could attend every other year. I felt like the a**hole saying no, but they were the a**hole for putting me in that position. If I said yes to one, I had to say yes to all and we had invited 20 something kids already. So far no one has asked, but we'll see if anyone just shows up.

I do always put the invited child or children's name on the invitation so people know who it's addressed to. I found that people didn't always pay attention to that, though, so that's how I ended up with the "no siblings" note on the invite.

There are a million threads touching on this and people are split, so you won't find a consensus here.

I completely agree with you on the sibling thing. If my girls were different ages or never had interactions with the birthday child then I would NEVER ask if they could come. In this case, the uninvited twin (or maybe not, since there were no names on anything, just postcard-like invitations slipped into backbacks) actually knows the birthday child because they're in the same grade and the activities would be appropriate for their age since they're the same age as the invited sibling. I think people asking if a seven-year old can come to a three-year old's party are odd, but maybe I'm splitting hairs in my own favor, I don't know.

So she knows her. Who cares. Do you think she invited every single person she ever said hello to? Just because (even if) she played with your kid once, doesn't mean she has to invite her to her party. Holy moly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are too quick to take offense. Good grief. Twins are a different situation than asking of if the toddler sibling can come, too.

No, actually they are not some special situation where they must never be separated. They are totally different people who can have different friends and interests. I grew up with five sets of twins in my grade, and was friends with kids from three of those sets. I was not friends with both twins simply because they were twins. They had different personalities.

I think that’s fine, too. I was just provoked by the poster who said they weren’t a babysitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm hosting a party next weekend and for the first time I wrote "no siblings" (in a nice way) because I was tired of having people ask if siblings could attend every other year. I felt like the a**hole saying no, but they were the a**hole for putting me in that position. If I said yes to one, I had to say yes to all and we had invited 20 something kids already. So far no one has asked, but we'll see if anyone just shows up.

I do always put the invited child or children's name on the invitation so people know who it's addressed to. I found that people didn't always pay attention to that, though, so that's how I ended up with the "no siblings" note on the invite.

There are a million threads touching on this and people are split, so you won't find a consensus here.

I completely agree with you on the sibling thing. If my girls were different ages or never had interactions with the birthday child then I would NEVER ask if they could come. In this case, the uninvited twin (or maybe not, since there were no names on anything, just postcard-like invitations slipped into backbacks) actually knows the birthday child because they're in the same grade and the activities would be appropriate for their age since they're the same age as the invited sibling. I think people asking if a seven-year old can come to a three-year old's party are odd, but maybe I'm splitting hairs in my own favor, I don't know.

I assume your twins do NOT share one backpack, right? The invitation is for the child whose backpack it was put in. Stop it already. You're being ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I would say to you -“yes, of course, that’s fine. We are happy to have her.”

What I would say in my head if my child has no clue the uninvited twin even exists - “that’s incredibly presumptuous and rude. Do I look like a free babysitting service?” (Internal eyeroll)

100 X this

--mom of twins

So, mom of twins, at what age did your twins first get a birthday invitation where it seemed like perhaps only one was invited?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm hosting a party next weekend and for the first time I wrote "no siblings" (in a nice way) because I was tired of having people ask if siblings could attend every other year. I felt like the a**hole saying no, but they were the a**hole for putting me in that position. If I said yes to one, I had to say yes to all and we had invited 20 something kids already. So far no one has asked, but we'll see if anyone just shows up.

I do always put the invited child or children's name on the invitation so people know who it's addressed to. I found that people didn't always pay attention to that, though, so that's how I ended up with the "no siblings" note on the invite.

There are a million threads touching on this and people are split, so you won't find a consensus here.

I completely agree with you on the sibling thing. If my girls were different ages or never had interactions with the birthday child then I would NEVER ask if they could come. In this case, the uninvited twin (or maybe not, since there were no names on anything, just postcard-like invitations slipped into backbacks) actually knows the birthday child because they're in the same grade and the activities would be appropriate for their age since they're the same age as the invited sibling. I think people asking if a seven-year old can come to a three-year old's party are odd, but maybe I'm splitting hairs in my own favor, I don't know.

I assume your twins do NOT share one backpack, right? The invitation is for the child whose backpack it was put in. Stop it already. You're being ridiculous.

Nah, usually this comes as an evite the parent's email address.

[Anonymous]

OP, you clearly want to do this so just do it and see what happens. Just wondering if this is that important to you to potentially start off on the wrong foot with families at a school that's new to you. Seeing a kid at recess doesn't mean they're friends and want to invite her to their birthday party. My kid interacts with hundreds of kids and that's not the criteria we use for inviting kids to parties.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP but twins in different classes fall under the same category as plain old regular Singleton siblings.

[Anonymous]

I have a few friends with twins, and I have to admit: I do not understand these friends' inability to view their twins as individual people who have their own interests and make their own friends.

If one twin is invited and the other twin isn't, well that's just the way it is. That's life; sometimes we're not invited! It's a good lesson for kids to learn. Boundaries. Kids need to learn them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are too quick to take offense. Good grief. Twins are a different situation than asking of if the toddler sibling can come, too.

No, actually they are not some special situation where they must never be separated. They are totally different people who can have different friends and interests. I grew up with five sets of twins in my grade, and was friends with kids from three of those sets. I was not friends with both twins simply because they were twins. They had different personalities.

Maybe if it was high school but I would not do this in elementary or preschool for crying out loud. That’s incredibly hurtful to the other twin especially when they’re super young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have twin girls in JK (or preschool 4 or whatever you want to call the year before K). We're at a private school that starts with preschool 3 and goes through middle school. We were at a different school, similar grades, last year, but ended up switching because we moved, so we are new to this school as of a few weeks ago. There are two JK classes and they do recess and PE with each other every day as well as some other specials on occasion, so the kids all know each other (as much as they can since school just started). One of my girls has gotten one birthday party invitation for a kid in her class and the other has gotten two invitations for kids in her class. If you were the mom who had sent this invitation out, would you be annoyed if I asked if the uninvited twin was able to come? I would of course say that I completely understand if siblings can't come for whatever reason, and I really would - we had a party where the capacity was capped so I had to be careful with the sibling issue and I totally get it. But even if I said that would I come across as demanding and thoughtless? None of the invitations had any names written on them (i.e. one didn't say Jane and the others didn't say Janet), but I just assumed that the parents didn't know either girl was a twin. I didn't have this issue last year because I feel like we didn't have any early birthdays and by the time we did everyone knew each other and the invitations were extended to both girls.

If the parent doesn't know your child exists then the child should NOT come to the party.

Come on, OP. Drop off Larla and then go and have fun with Larlette!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are too quick to take offense. Good grief. Twins are a different situation than asking of if the toddler sibling can come, too.

No, actually they are not some special situation where they must never be separated. They are totally different people who can have different friends and interests. I grew up with five sets of twins in my grade, and was friends with kids from three of those sets. I was not friends with both twins simply because they were twins. They had different personalities.

Maybe if it was high school but I would not do this in elementary or preschool for crying out loud. That’s incredibly hurtful to the other twin especially when they’re super young.

No! Parents of twins here always say that you do not have to invite both!