Wife won't let me have a dog

[Anonymous]

Don't know how to convince her. I plan on being 100% responsible for it but she is concerned about having to step in if I'm not around or sick. She didn't grow up around dogs although her mom kept cats. She says she doesn't want any pets ever because they cost money and are an inconvenience. She isn't afraid of dogs, we stayed with dogs at an Airbnb in Europe which she booked. She says she hates the idea of a dog peeing in the house (no guarantees that it won't) and falling sick, plus all the maintenance care that goes into having one. I love dogs and just would like one for companionship and security (barking in case of burglars). Anyone been in same situation?

[Anonymous]

Dogs are nasty pets and a lot of work. They also smell bad, poop everywhere, stick their noses in all the wrong places and slobber.

Wife probably knows she will get stuck doing most of the work.

Team wife.

[Anonymous]

Dude you need to correct your big problem, which is you only do things if your wife "lets" you. Nauseating! Are you an adult man, or a little boy and she's your mommy? Grow a pair of balls already. If you want a dog, get one.

[Anonymous]

If one spouse says no, it’s no

[Anonymous]

Do you have a history of not taking care of things?

[Anonymous]

Did u talk about this at all before marriage? I brought one dog unto our relationship and we would not be together if she had not become a dog person. She is still not the dog lover I am but I'm ok with that. How about fostering? Find a rescue group and do it as a trial.

[Anonymous]

Someone's desire to feel like their home is clean and a calm place for them to retreat to trumps their spouse's desire to have an animal living in the house with them. Every time.

[Anonymous]

Team wife. My husband wants a dog too. Not happening. When he travels or at work, I'm not going in the freezing cold or rain to walk the thing, buy food, take them to the vet, clean up after them. Husband and kids are enough.

[Anonymous]

I strongly believe that most people don't love dogs, they just love their own dog. I used to claim I was a dog lover, until I spent time around too many big, poopy, stinky, shedding, drooling, poorly-behaved dogs. Now I realize that while I adore my cute little lapdog, most dogs in general I can do without.

That was a long-winded way of saying that maybe your wife will fall in love with a particular dog if you give it time. That means no pressure, just put yourself in a position to meet dogs that want homes, and see what happens.

[Anonymous]

Who does the cleaning?

Do you vacuum, dust, etc? If you add a dog expect to clean twice as often to barely keep up with your prior level of cleanliness. You’re also going to have to wash throws and curtains and pillow covers all the time if you don’t want your clothes covered in dog hair.

It’s not just about who’s going to take care of the dogs direct needs. Are you also willing to step up and mitigate the mess that the dog will leave in your house? This isn’t even something you mention in your post and I imagine it will become a huge point of conflict if she constantly has to clean up all the time so you can play with a dog.

[Anonymous]

Lost Dog and Cat Rescue -- they have a shelter in Falls Church/7 Corners where you can go walk dogs and take them on "dogventures," even overnight if you want, and then return them. You can get your dog fill and help a homeless pet, and she won't have to deal with the dog, unless she falls in love and you end up adopting it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did u talk about this at all before marriage? I brought one dog unto our relationship and we would not be together if she had not become a dog person. She is still not the dog lover I am but I'm ok with that. How about fostering? Find a rescue group and do it as a trial.

She says no to fostering too because she just doesn't want a dog in the house. Plus she brings up the fact that my sister's husband ended up with blood poisoning after a dog they fostered bit him- he almost had to have his arm amputated. We did talk about this before marriage but it wasn't like a dealbreaker issue, compared to kids (no kids ever) and finances (we're good on this too). She says "I think you just like the idea of having a dog as opposed to the reality of having a dog". We split chores 50-50 (I'm retired while she works mostly from home).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She says "I think you just like the idea of having a dog as opposed to the reality of having a dog". We split chores 50-50 (I'm retired while she works mostly from home).

Wow, on the surface you seem like the ideal people to have a dog -- both of you home most of the day. But I totally get your wife's aversion. I have a dog, I love my dog, and I wouldn't give him up for the world, but I freely admit to anyone who asks that having a dog is a huge PITA. In that way, it is like having kids -- you have to be all in, or you're going to be miserable.

Rather than forcing your wife into accepting an animal she doesn't want into your home, could you get your dog fill through sitting and walking? You'd be able to charge a higher rate than the sitters who want $40/day to be at work while the dog is alone in an apartment. Even if your wife absolutely refuses to have a temporary dog, many people prefer having sitters sleep over instead of subjecting a pet to a new environment.

[Anonymous]

This website is so glitchy. The post above should not be in quote.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dogs are nasty pets and a lot of work. They also smell bad, poop everywhere, stick their noses in all the wrong places and slobber.

Wife probably knows she will get stuck doing most of the work.

Team wife.

My dog does NONE of those things.