Wife won't let me have a dog

[Anonymous]

I do dog rescue. Your wife is right about the downsides of having a dog. They are expensive and they do sometimes make messes in the house. My dog doesn't like to go out to pee in bad weather, for example. You have to hire pet sitters or board them when you travel, have to get home in time to let them out, have to take them for walks even when it's raining. I pay a lot of money annually for pet insurance, regular vet visits, and even a couple of trips to the ER, one for a pill he shouldn't have swallowed, one when his seizures started.

To me it is worth all of those things. I love my blind, deaf, smelly, leaky old dog.

My advice, get involved in dog fostering. A good dog rescue group should be able to start you with the easy ones. See what having a dog is really like for your lifestyle. See if you can cope, or not, before you make a commitment. Plus you'll make some friends who can swap dog sitting with you if you ever get a dog.

I work with worthydog.org if you are interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, I successfully persuaded my husband!
However I had the most powerful aid in the world: his cute little daddy's girl who wheedled him for an entire year. She's very persuasive

Here's the thing. The dog has been both better and worse than my husband's hope and fears.

Our dog is a high maintenance breed, chosen by said daddy's girl, and I do the grooming and cleaning, and most of the walks, and when he was a puppy, I was the one who got out of bed three times a night for his pee. The dog also had a Hurricane Diarrhea episode - I'm traumatized because I was the one who got home from work already frazzled and had to clean it up while trying to prevent the dog and the kids from swimming in it. It was massive, OP. I had to clean up the flooded crate and the dog and his toys in the yard with the hose, but he became so muddy in the yard I couldn't tell what was poo and what was mud, so I had to carry him, wet and struggling, to the bathroom to bathe him there, dripping goo everywhere, and then spent the night deep cleaning all that part of the house because *the nasty-smelling stuff had splattered everywhere*.

Despite not dealing with those things, my husband has had to resign himself to the dog's shedding. We have to be diligent with the Roomba and lint rollers. And my husband has taken over the morning walk, because I can't get out of bed at 6:30am, and the dog starts whining then barking at that time until someone walks him, and we don't want to wake up the kids too early. At first my husband was also disgusted with the idea of picking up dog poo

And in the end... my husband loves the dog. The dog comes from a champion line and is undeniably beautiful to look at (we receive comments on him all the time), plus he's very affectionate and social. The morning walks have made them bond.

So all is well. I just hope that nothing so disgusting as Hurricane Diarrhea will ever come to plague us again.

I feel grossed out just from reading your post PP. I'm also Team NO DOG EVER.

Um, how is this different from having a kid? They have poosplosions as well.

Yeah but they pretty quickly learn to take care of it themselves (3 year olds are mostly toilet trained).

Um, my last puppy was housetrained at 8 weeks....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I strongly believe that most people don't love dogs, they just love their own dog. I used to claim I was a dog lover, until I spent time around too many big, poopy, stinky, shedding, drooling, poorly-behaved dogs. Now I realize that while I adore my cute little lapdog, most dogs in general I can do without.

That was a long-winded way of saying that maybe your wife will fall in love with a particular dog if you give it time. That means no pressure, just put yourself in a position to meet dogs that want homes, and see what happens.

This is how I feel about children. I really only like my own.

[Anonymous]

We have a dog and goodness, that fella is expensive! We got him when he was almost 7 and he had so many vet visits in the first few months, that I'm pretty sure we paid for our vet's kids' college tuition. And, 6 months in, he blew out his knee (the doggy version of the ACL that a PP mentioned) and needed surgery. I don't know why theirs was so pricey- maybe a more intensive surgery as ours was "only" a third of that cost. 12 weeks of no stairs, no running, no jumping, and no off-leash EVER. Good times.

He's the love of my life though.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think deciding to get a pet should be held to the same standard as a kid. They don’t require the same level of commitment, money, emotional investment, and so on. It’s a dog. You can find pet sitters using an app, feed it the the same food twice a day (and it will eat it!), lock it in a crate at night, and leave it at home while you go to the grocery store. If dogs are too hard for you, then I’m not sure what’s going on. Maybe you got a really bad dog.

Seriously, how annoying is it when people think because they have a dog, they know what having a kid is like. Super annoying!

I think when it comes to pets, there’s a lot more room for compromise. It’s not like a kid where you play the lottery and are stuck with whatever pops out. You get to pick the dog! You can visit thousands of dogs if you like, so you don’t end up with a dud. And you can pick one at any stage of life. Only want a three year commitment? Get a 10-year-old dog.

If money is tight or you travel all the time or you live in a studio apartment, then I do understand not getting a dog. And I personally would never be on board with a puppy. But just taking a hard pass on all pets is pretty cold to the spouse who wants one.

[Anonymous]

Team wife. No thank you to this ticks and hair inside. And above PP, of course dogs smell. You’re just so used to it you don’t smell it anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think deciding to get a pet should be held to the same standard as a kid. They don’t require the same level of commitment, money, emotional investment, and so on. It’s a dog. You can find pet sitters using an app, feed it the the same food twice a day (and it will eat it!), lock it in a crate at night, and leave it at home while you go to the grocery store. If dogs are too hard for you, then I’m not sure what’s going on. Maybe you got a really bad dog.

Seriously, how annoying is it when people think because they have a dog, they know what having a kid is like. Super annoying!

I think when it comes to pets, there’s a lot more room for compromise. It’s not like a kid where you play the lottery and are stuck with whatever pops out. You get to pick the dog! You can visit thousands of dogs if you like, so you don’t end up with a dud. And you can pick one at any stage of life. Only want a three year commitment? Get a 10-year-old dog.

If money is tight or you travel all the time or you live in a studio apartment, then I do understand not getting a dog. And I personally would never be on board with a puppy. But just taking a hard pass on all pets is pretty cold to the spouse who wants one.

None of your arguments make sense to someone who doesn't want to deal with poo, pee, fur, and vet bills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think deciding to get a pet should be held to the same standard as a kid. They don’t require the same level of commitment, money, emotional investment, and so on. It’s a dog. You can find pet sitters using an app, feed it the the same food twice a day (and it will eat it!), lock it in a crate at night, and leave it at home while you go to the grocery store. If dogs are too hard for you, then I’m not sure what’s going on. Maybe you got a really bad dog.

Seriously, how annoying is it when people think because they have a dog, they know what having a kid is like. Super annoying!

I think when it comes to pets, there’s a lot more room for compromise. It’s not like a kid where you play the lottery and are stuck with whatever pops out. You get to pick the dog! You can visit thousands of dogs if you like, so you don’t end up with a dud. And you can pick one at any stage of life. Only want a three year commitment? Get a 10-year-old dog.

If money is tight or you travel all the time or you live in a studio apartment, then I do understand not getting a dog. And I personally would never be on board with a puppy. But just taking a hard pass on all pets is pretty cold to the spouse who wants one.

Oh wow, so I'm cold because I don't want a dog in my home even though I pay for our family vacations, groceries and cook at home, while also completing 50% of the chores? I rather put my foot down than resent my spouse later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think deciding to get a pet should be held to the same standard as a kid. They don’t require the same level of commitment, money, emotional investment, and so on. It’s a dog. You can find pet sitters using an app, feed it the the same food twice a day (and it will eat it!), lock it in a crate at night, and leave it at home while you go to the grocery store. If dogs are too hard for you, then I’m not sure what’s going on. Maybe you got a really bad dog.

Seriously, how annoying is it when people think because they have a dog, they know what having a kid is like. Super annoying!

I think when it comes to pets, there’s a lot more room for compromise. It’s not like a kid where you play the lottery and are stuck with whatever pops out. You get to pick the dog! You can visit thousands of dogs if you like, so you don’t end up with a dud. And you can pick one at any stage of life. Only want a three year commitment? Get a 10-year-old dog.

If money is tight or you travel all the time or you live in a studio apartment, then I do understand not getting a dog. And I personally would never be on board with a puppy. But just taking a hard pass on all pets is pretty cold to the spouse who wants one.

Oh wow, so I'm cold because I don't want a dog in my home even though I pay for our family vacations, groceries and cook at home, while also completing 50% of the chores? I rather put my foot down than resent my spouse later.

Do you think the person who’s not “allowed” to get a pet doesn’t feel resentment? For me it’s not about right/wrong here anyway, but about making some level of compromise to find a situation both parties can live with. But both people have to be willing to give a little. I wouldn’t want to be married to someone who’s not capable of giving a little to help meet my needs. And I just don’t think it rises to the level of having a kid where there is no real compromise and the commitment is just so huge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think deciding to get a pet should be held to the same standard as a kid. They don’t require the same level of commitment, money, emotional investment, and so on. It’s a dog. You can find pet sitters using an app, feed it the the same food twice a day (and it will eat it!), lock it in a crate at night, and leave it at home while you go to the grocery store. If dogs are too hard for you, then I’m not sure what’s going on. Maybe you got a really bad dog.

Seriously, how annoying is it when people think because they have a dog, they know what having a kid is like. Super annoying!

I think when it comes to pets, there’s a lot more room for compromise. It’s not like a kid where you play the lottery and are stuck with whatever pops out. You get to pick the dog! You can visit thousands of dogs if you like, so you don’t end up with a dud. And you can pick one at any stage of life. Only want a three year commitment? Get a 10-year-old dog.

If money is tight or you travel all the time or you live in a studio apartment, then I do understand not getting a dog. And I personally would never be on board with a puppy. But just taking a hard pass on all pets is pretty cold to the spouse who wants one.

Oh wow, so I'm cold because I don't want a dog in my home even though I pay for our family vacations, groceries and cook at home, while also completing 50% of the chores? I rather put my foot down than resent my spouse later.

Do you think the person who’s not “allowed” to get a pet doesn’t feel resentment? For me it’s not about right/wrong here anyway, but about making some level of compromise to find a situation both parties can live with. But both people have to be willing to give a little. I wouldn’t want to be married to someone who’s not capable of giving a little to help meet my needs. And I just don’t think it rises to the level of having a kid where there is no real compromise and the commitment is just so huge.

You have got to be kidding me. The DH can get his doggie fix by volunteering at the pound, dog-sitting or dog-walking. Why should he resent his wife? "Boo hoo, sweetie, you won't let me bring in a salivating pooping four-legged animal who sheds all his fur into the house. You suck"

[Anonymous]

I would not marry someone who did like animals. I think that's a huge warning sign of damaged goods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lost Dog and Cat Rescue -- they have a shelter in Falls Church/7 Corners where you can go walk dogs and take them on "dogventures," even overnight if you want, and then return them. You can get your dog fill and help a homeless pet, and she won't have to deal with the dog, unless she falls in love and you end up adopting it.

This is a good idea. Try this, Op!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not marry someone who did like animals. I think that's a huge warning sign of damaged goods.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not marry someone who did like animals. I think that's a huge warning sign of damaged goods.

+1

Huh, you mean 'did not like'?

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP but bringing a dog into a home with an unsupportive spouse is a terrible idea. She will resent you and the dog. It’s sad bc DH and I are huge dog people and we will always have dogs because they are amazing. But, yes they are a ton of work and you need to both be willing to bare the burden.