Wife won't let me have a dog

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who does the cleaning?

Do you vacuum, dust, etc? If you add a dog expect to clean twice as often to barely keep up with your prior level of cleanliness. You’re also going to have to wash throws and curtains and pillow covers all the time if you don’t want your clothes covered in dog hair.

It’s not just about who’s going to take care of the dogs direct needs. Are you also willing to step up and mitigate the mess that the dog will leave in your house? This isn’t even something you mention in your post and I imagine it will become a huge point of conflict if she constantly has to clean up all the time so you can play with a dog.

No more sex till you get a dog....oh wait...that stopped as soon as you get married? So the sex thing is out....can not help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Like I said, we split cleaning. If I vacuum the study and the living room, then she vacuums the bathrooms and our bedroom. But we generally do a deep cleaning weekly unless we have guests. She doesn't not like dogs, she will go "Awww..." if she sees an adorable one on TV and even told me she comes by events where people bring their therapy dogs for others to pet. So I have been misguided I guess that maybe she'll change her mind.

OP and PPs, first, the "grow some balls" PP is probably that teen boy who is on DCUM trying to generate conflict (his mom posted about him).

Second, I think you should see if you can get her to try dog-sitting for a friend (at your house). I think it's super-important that the dog you are sitting be well-trained and a breed that does not drool. And not a puppy. (If you get a dog, don't get a puppy or your wife may decide it must go). Also, get a Roomba before you dog-sit the dog. (I have an 860; works wonders)

I've always had a lap-sized dog, but we ended up getting a fully trained adult Australian Shepherd (medium sized dog) that acts the "big dog" stereotypical way that one hears about...more chill, relaxed, doesn't jump on things or people, stays off the furniture, doesn't beg, stays downstairs and out of DH's home office. I now realize that a little dog (terrier, chihuahua, pomeranian) is very demanding (I know I'm stereotyping)--very needy, yappy, more like a toddler than an animal. I love both types, but you might want to go for that big dog mentality given your situation. And get a female to avoid any marking issues.

So, dog-sit a friend's adult, female, fully trained, non-drooling, non-jumping well behaved dog for a weekend. After you get or borrow a Roomba.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't trust anyone who doesn't like dogs. That would have been a deal breaker for me. I truly believe that people who don't love animals, are incapable of truly loving anyone or anything.

I love dogs and I still think you are terribly close-minded. I guess we are even though because a deal breaker for me is a person who lacks such empathy that they can't understand someone who feels differently than themselves can still be a good person capable of love.

I also agree with the first PP. I don't trust anyone who doesn't like dogs. I just don't.

Have you always related better to animals than people? Or is it a recent sort of personality disorder?

[Anonymous]

Everyone in the house has to want a dog. It has a significant impact on everyone.

Can you let sit a dog for a week? So you both can see what happens? Or foster a dog
?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Like I said, we split cleaning. If I vacuum the study and the living room, then she vacuums the bathrooms and our bedroom. But we generally do a deep cleaning weekly unless we have guests. She doesn't not like dogs, she will go "Awww..." if she sees an adorable one on TV and even told me she comes by events where people bring their therapy dogs for others to pet. So I have been misguided I guess that maybe she'll change her mind.

OP and PPs, first, the "grow some balls" PP is probably that teen boy who is on DCUM trying to generate conflict (his mom posted about him).

Second, I think you should see if you can get her to try dog-sitting for a friend (at your house). I think it's super-important that the dog you are sitting be well-trained and a breed that does not drool. And not a puppy. (If you get a dog, don't get a puppy or your wife may decide it must go). Also, get a Roomba before you dog-sit the dog. (I have an 860; works wonders)

I've always had a lap-sized dog, but we ended up getting a fully trained adult Australian Shepherd (medium sized dog) that acts the "big dog" stereotypical way that one hears about...more chill, relaxed, doesn't jump on things or people, stays off the furniture, doesn't beg, stays downstairs and out of DH's home office. I now realize that a little dog (terrier, chihuahua, pomeranian) is very demanding (I know I'm stereotyping)--very needy, yappy, more like a toddler than an animal. I love both types, but you might want to go for that big dog mentality given your situation. And get a female to avoid any marking issues.

So, dog-sit a friend's adult, female, fully trained, non-drooling, non-jumping well behaved dog for a weekend. After you get or borrow a Roomba.

Get her to dog sit???? "Darling, I know you don't want to care for a dog in our home so why not take care of Rufus for a weekend so you'll change your mind?" …said no spouse ever.

[Anonymous]

Other people's dogs are like other people's children - can't stand 'em, they annoy the shit out of me.

"Have him dog-sit for a weekend" is a good strategy if you want him to not want a dog any more. Be sure to pick a weekend when it's pouring or snowing and doggie still needs to go walkies...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Other people's dogs are like other people's children - can't stand 'em, they annoy the shit out of me.

"Have him dog-sit for a weekend" is a good strategy if you want him to not want a dog any more. Be sure to pick a weekend when it's pouring or snowing and doggie still needs to go walkies...

Love the sarcasm! OP, your wife sounds like good partner. If you want a dog so badly, you can work at the pound.

[Anonymous]

What if you just get a dog and surprise her with it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if you just get a dog and surprise her with it?

What the hell is wrong with you people?! It’s a DOG. If you want to be around them, volunteer at a shelter. You all act like there’s something wrong with her that she doesn’t want one.

I’ve had dogs and cats throughout my life and am done after our dog dies. They can be sweet, but they’re expensive and dirty. I’m done cleaning pee and poop (and every pet has had an accident at one point). I’m done with the expensive vet visits. I’m done with the whole thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Like I said, we split cleaning. If I vacuum the study and the living room, then she vacuums the bathrooms and our bedroom. But we generally do a deep cleaning weekly unless we have guests. She doesn't not like dogs, she will go "Awww..." if she sees an adorable one on TV and even told me she comes by events where people bring their therapy dogs for others to pet. So I have been misguided I guess that maybe she'll change her mind.

OP and PPs, first, the "grow some balls" PP is probably that teen boy who is on DCUM trying to generate conflict (his mom posted about him).

Second, I think you should see if you can get her to try dog-sitting for a friend (at your house). I think it's super-important that the dog you are sitting be well-trained and a breed that does not drool. And not a puppy. (If you get a dog, don't get a puppy or your wife may decide it must go). Also, get a Roomba before you dog-sit the dog. (I have an 860; works wonders)

I've always had a lap-sized dog, but we ended up getting a fully trained adult Australian Shepherd (medium sized dog) that acts the "big dog" stereotypical way that one hears about...more chill, relaxed, doesn't jump on things or people, stays off the furniture, doesn't beg, stays downstairs and out of DH's home office. I now realize that a little dog (terrier, chihuahua, pomeranian) is very demanding (I know I'm stereotyping)--very needy, yappy, more like a toddler than an animal. I love both types, but you might want to go for that big dog mentality given your situation. And get a female to avoid any marking issues.

So, dog-sit a friend's adult, female, fully trained, non-drooling, non-jumping well behaved dog for a weekend. After you get or borrow a Roomba.

No the grow some balls is a woman. Only women are that sexist anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, I successfully persuaded my husband!
However I had the most powerful aid in the world: his cute little daddy's girl who wheedled him for an entire year. She's very persuasive

Here's the thing. The dog has been both better and worse than my husband's hope and fears.

Our dog is a high maintenance breed, chosen by said daddy's girl, and I do the grooming and cleaning, and most of the walks, and when he was a puppy, I was the one who got out of bed three times a night for his pee. The dog also had a Hurricane Diarrhea episode - I'm traumatized because I was the one who got home from work already frazzled and had to clean it up while trying to prevent the dog and the kids from swimming in it. It was massive, OP. I had to clean up the flooded crate and the dog and his toys in the yard with the hose, but he became so muddy in the yard I couldn't tell what was poo and what was mud, so I had to carry him, wet and struggling, to the bathroom to bathe him there, dripping goo everywhere, and then spent the night deep cleaning all that part of the house because *the nasty-smelling stuff had splattered everywhere*.

Despite not dealing with those things, my husband has had to resign himself to the dog's shedding. We have to be diligent with the Roomba and lint rollers. And my husband has taken over the morning walk, because I can't get out of bed at 6:30am, and the dog starts whining then barking at that time until someone walks him, and we don't want to wake up the kids too early. At first my husband was also disgusted with the idea of picking up dog poo

And in the end... my husband loves the dog. The dog comes from a champion line and is undeniably beautiful to look at (we receive comments on him all the time), plus he's very affectionate and social. The morning walks have made them bond.

So all is well. I just hope that nothing so disgusting as Hurricane Diarrhea will ever come to plague us again.

I feel grossed out just from reading your post PP. I'm also Team NO DOG EVER.

Um, how is this different from having a kid? They have poosplosions as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, I successfully persuaded my husband!
However I had the most powerful aid in the world: his cute little daddy's girl who wheedled him for an entire year. She's very persuasive

Here's the thing. The dog has been both better and worse than my husband's hope and fears.

Our dog is a high maintenance breed, chosen by said daddy's girl, and I do the grooming and cleaning, and most of the walks, and when he was a puppy, I was the one who got out of bed three times a night for his pee. The dog also had a Hurricane Diarrhea episode - I'm traumatized because I was the one who got home from work already frazzled and had to clean it up while trying to prevent the dog and the kids from swimming in it. It was massive, OP. I had to clean up the flooded crate and the dog and his toys in the yard with the hose, but he became so muddy in the yard I couldn't tell what was poo and what was mud, so I had to carry him, wet and struggling, to the bathroom to bathe him there, dripping goo everywhere, and then spent the night deep cleaning all that part of the house because *the nasty-smelling stuff had splattered everywhere*.

Despite not dealing with those things, my husband has had to resign himself to the dog's shedding. We have to be diligent with the Roomba and lint rollers. And my husband has taken over the morning walk, because I can't get out of bed at 6:30am, and the dog starts whining then barking at that time until someone walks him, and we don't want to wake up the kids too early. At first my husband was also disgusted with the idea of picking up dog poo

And in the end... my husband loves the dog. The dog comes from a champion line and is undeniably beautiful to look at (we receive comments on him all the time), plus he's very affectionate and social. The morning walks have made them bond.

So all is well. I just hope that nothing so disgusting as Hurricane Diarrhea will ever come to plague us again.

I feel grossed out just from reading your post PP. I'm also Team NO DOG EVER.

Um, how is this different from having a kid? They have poosplosions as well.

Oh no no no. Like I said. This was the difference between a Category 5 and a tropical storm. Perhaps we were unlucky and other dogs and their owners have never experienced this. I just wanted to point out to OP that these things can happen, and that he will have to clean up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't trust anyone who doesn't like dogs. That would have been a deal breaker for me. I truly believe that people who don't love animals, are incapable of truly loving anyone or anything.

I love dogs and I still think you are terribly close-minded. I guess we are even though because a deal breaker for me is a person who lacks such empathy that they can't understand someone who feels differently than themselves can still be a good person capable of love.

I also agree with the first PP. I don't trust anyone who doesn't like dogs. I just don't.

Have you always related better to animals than people? Or is it a recent sort of personality disorder?

You know exactly nothing about me or my relationships with people (vs. dogs). Nice try at gas lighting, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, I successfully persuaded my husband!
However I had the most powerful aid in the world: his cute little daddy's girl who wheedled him for an entire year. She's very persuasive

Here's the thing. The dog has been both better and worse than my husband's hope and fears.

Our dog is a high maintenance breed, chosen by said daddy's girl, and I do the grooming and cleaning, and most of the walks, and when he was a puppy, I was the one who got out of bed three times a night for his pee. The dog also had a Hurricane Diarrhea episode - I'm traumatized because I was the one who got home from work already frazzled and had to clean it up while trying to prevent the dog and the kids from swimming in it. It was massive, OP. I had to clean up the flooded crate and the dog and his toys in the yard with the hose, but he became so muddy in the yard I couldn't tell what was poo and what was mud, so I had to carry him, wet and struggling, to the bathroom to bathe him there, dripping goo everywhere, and then spent the night deep cleaning all that part of the house because *the nasty-smelling stuff had splattered everywhere*.

Despite not dealing with those things, my husband has had to resign himself to the dog's shedding. We have to be diligent with the Roomba and lint rollers. And my husband has taken over the morning walk, because I can't get out of bed at 6:30am, and the dog starts whining then barking at that time until someone walks him, and we don't want to wake up the kids too early. At first my husband was also disgusted with the idea of picking up dog poo

And in the end... my husband loves the dog. The dog comes from a champion line and is undeniably beautiful to look at (we receive comments on him all the time), plus he's very affectionate and social. The morning walks have made them bond.

So all is well. I just hope that nothing so disgusting as Hurricane Diarrhea will ever come to plague us again.

I feel grossed out just from reading your post PP. I'm also Team NO DOG EVER.

Um, how is this different from having a kid? They have poosplosions as well.

Oh no no no. Like I said. This was the difference between a Category 5 and a tropical storm. Perhaps we were unlucky and other dogs and their owners have never experienced this. I just wanted to point out to OP that these things can happen, and that he will have to clean up.

Pooplosions are probably a part of the reason why OP's wife is childfree. Is a dog ever gonna help make you a meal or fix your coffee? That's what spouses are for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, I successfully persuaded my husband!
However I had the most powerful aid in the world: his cute little daddy's girl who wheedled him for an entire year. She's very persuasive

Here's the thing. The dog has been both better and worse than my husband's hope and fears.

Our dog is a high maintenance breed, chosen by said daddy's girl, and I do the grooming and cleaning, and most of the walks, and when he was a puppy, I was the one who got out of bed three times a night for his pee. The dog also had a Hurricane Diarrhea episode - I'm traumatized because I was the one who got home from work already frazzled and had to clean it up while trying to prevent the dog and the kids from swimming in it. It was massive, OP. I had to clean up the flooded crate and the dog and his toys in the yard with the hose, but he became so muddy in the yard I couldn't tell what was poo and what was mud, so I had to carry him, wet and struggling, to the bathroom to bathe him there, dripping goo everywhere, and then spent the night deep cleaning all that part of the house because *the nasty-smelling stuff had splattered everywhere*.

Despite not dealing with those things, my husband has had to resign himself to the dog's shedding. We have to be diligent with the Roomba and lint rollers. And my husband has taken over the morning walk, because I can't get out of bed at 6:30am, and the dog starts whining then barking at that time until someone walks him, and we don't want to wake up the kids too early. At first my husband was also disgusted with the idea of picking up dog poo

And in the end... my husband loves the dog. The dog comes from a champion line and is undeniably beautiful to look at (we receive comments on him all the time), plus he's very affectionate and social. The morning walks have made them bond.

So all is well. I just hope that nothing so disgusting as Hurricane Diarrhea will ever come to plague us again.

I feel grossed out just from reading your post PP. I'm also Team NO DOG EVER.

Um, how is this different from having a kid? They have poosplosions as well.

Yeah but they pretty quickly learn to take care of it themselves (3 year olds are mostly toilet trained).