Wife won't let me have a dog

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't trust anyone who doesn't like dogs. That would have been a deal breaker for me. I truly believe that people who don't love animals, are incapable of truly loving anyone or anything.

I love dogs and I still think you are terribly close-minded. I guess we are even though because a deal breaker for me is a person who lacks such empathy that they can't understand someone who feels differently than themselves can still be a good person capable of love.

[Anonymous]

If this thread was titled

"Husband wont let me have a dog"...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone's desire to feel like their home is clean and a calm place for them to retreat to trumps their spouse's desire to have an animal living in the house with them. Every time.

Agreed.

Team wife.

[Anonymous]

I never dated anyone seriously who did not want pets. Literally, they were instantly unattractive if they mentioned never wanting pets or had a negative reaction to the pets I had when single. It was a non-starter.

I have a DH who also loves animals. It would not have worked any other way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't trust anyone who doesn't like dogs. That would have been a deal breaker for me. I truly believe that people who don't love animals, are incapable of truly loving anyone or anything.

I love dogs and I still think you are terribly close-minded. I guess we are even though because a deal breaker for me is a person who lacks such empathy that they can't understand someone who feels differently than themselves can still be a good person capable of love.

X1000 having empathy and choosing not to live with an animal in your house so disconnected that I can’t fathom someone of average intelligence not being able to understand that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't trust anyone who doesn't like dogs. That would have been a deal breaker for me. I truly believe that people who don't love animals, are incapable of truly loving anyone or anything.

I love dogs and I still think you are terribly close-minded. I guess we are even though because a deal breaker for me is a person who lacks such empathy that they can't understand someone who feels differently than themselves can still be a good person capable of love.

I also agree with the first PP. I don't trust anyone who doesn't like dogs. I just don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't trust anyone who doesn't like dogs. That would have been a deal breaker for me. I truly believe that people who don't love animals, are incapable of truly loving anyone or anything.

I love dogs and I still think you are terribly close-minded. I guess we are even though because a deal breaker for me is a person who lacks such empathy that they can't understand someone who feels differently than themselves can still be a good person capable of love.

I also agree with the first PP. I don't trust anyone who doesn't like dogs. I just don't.

I trust them eithert. There’s just something not right. I’m only half kidding.

As a huge dog lover I think that if one spouse does not approve it’s best to revisit the idea later. The dog might become a point of contention and resentment and although you may have gotten your way with the dog it might not be great for the marriage in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone's desire to feel like their home is clean and a calm place for them to retreat to trumps their spouse's desire to have an animal living in the house with them. Every time.

+1,000[/quote

Another vote for this.

There are other ways you can bond with an animal. Volunteer at a shelter, take a regular walking gig, offer to dog sit a neighbor or friend's dog (at their house). There are not other places your wife can live.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]I don't trust anyone who doesn't like dogs. That would have been a deal breaker for me. I truly believe that people who don't love animals, are incapable of truly loving anyone or anything. [/quote]

I love dogs and cats buts it’s lot of work to care for them . Therefore I don’t a have a dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a history of not taking care of things?

That was my first thought. In my family, I know that I'm the one who will make sure the dog is taken care of so I only agree to adding a dog when I am ready for that dog. I never believe anyone who promises me they will take care of the dog.

[Anonymous]

Even my parent's 15/20 lb, show quality, hypoallergenic, trained, low energy, low barking dog requires work. We take care of her when they travel, so she's our part-time dog. And she over time has developed tummy sensitivities so will throw up on occasion. She also has gotten scared when smoke alarms started chirping while she was home alone and had an accident. We like dogs, so we manage, but it is kind of gross. I get where your wife is coming from.

If you have a friend with a small, non-shedding, nice, trained dog, try babysitting and see if it grows on your wife. In your situation, I wouldn't recommend a rescue because they often come with issues. In this area, there's a high demand for rescues, so it's hard to be picky.

You'll probably need to let this go.

[Anonymous]

I was in the opposite position. I am the wife and I really wanted a dog. My husband did not want to deal with the responsibilities. My daughter convinced him to get a dog because my kids also wanted one really badly.

The deal is, my husband does nothing for the dog. I do everything and if not me, one of the kids If I go out of town with the kids, I make arrangements to drop my dog off at a family member’s house who absolutely loves our dog. He is a mini poodle, so only 11 pounds and does not shed. That said, my husband now loves the dog and will take care of him when I go out of town. He knows he does not have to as I have my family member on speed dial but the dog has grown on him he enjoys the company. His words.

I also ask you the question regarding who cleans the house? I do in our house, so my husband does not see any added cleaning due to a dog in the house. As he wouldn’t clean it anyway .

[Anonymous]

OP again. Like I said, we split cleaning. If I vacuum the study and the living room, then she vacuums the bathrooms and our bedroom. But we generally do a deep cleaning weekly unless we have guests. She doesn't not like dogs, she will go "Awww..." if she sees an adorable one on TV and even told me she comes by events where people bring their therapy dogs for others to pet. So I have been misguided I guess that maybe she'll change her mind.

[Anonymous]

Drop her off at a shelter. I’m sure someone will give her a good home. (Serious, btw).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Well, I successfully persuaded my husband!
However I had the most powerful aid in the world: his cute little daddy's girl who wheedled him for an entire year. She's very persuasive

Here's the thing. The dog has been both better and worse than my husband's hope and fears.

Our dog is a high maintenance breed, chosen by said daddy's girl, and I do the grooming and cleaning, and most of the walks, and when he was a puppy, I was the one who got out of bed three times a night for his pee. The dog also had a Hurricane Diarrhea episode - I'm traumatized because I was the one who got home from work already frazzled and had to clean it up while trying to prevent the dog and the kids from swimming in it. It was massive, OP. I had to clean up the flooded crate and the dog and his toys in the yard with the hose, but he became so muddy in the yard I couldn't tell what was poo and what was mud, so I had to carry him, wet and struggling, to the bathroom to bathe him there, dripping goo everywhere, and then spent the night deep cleaning all that part of the house because *the nasty-smelling stuff had splattered everywhere*.

Despite not dealing with those things, my husband has had to resign himself to the dog's shedding. We have to be diligent with the Roomba and lint rollers. And my husband has taken over the morning walk, because I can't get out of bed at 6:30am, and the dog starts whining then barking at that time until someone walks him, and we don't want to wake up the kids too early. At first my husband was also disgusted with the idea of picking up dog poo

And in the end... my husband loves the dog. The dog comes from a champion line and is undeniably beautiful to look at (we receive comments on him all the time), plus he's very affectionate and social. The morning walks have made them bond.

So all is well. I just hope that nothing so disgusting as Hurricane Diarrhea will ever come to plague us again.

Sometimes I think a dog might be a nice addition to our family.

Then I read stuff like this. Nope!