I settled and it’s unsettling
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Anonymous
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The other post inspired this. I always knew what the high quality guys were but for some reason they never expressed an interest in me. Even when I was in my teens and twenties, I was a socially awkward, grumpy, shy girl. I never went out to bars or had friends. So there I was at 25 and hopelessly single.
I finally chased a guy and turned out he liked me back and now we’re married. He is nice and treat me well. He is just so ordinary. There is nothing exciting or impressive about him. Total runnofbthe mill average nice guy. My sisters however were great beauties. They each found the handsome provider types. I hate to say it but I wonder if I could’ve done better if I had put more effort into my looks and had self esteem. I did really look quite nice when I got dolled up. I am 32 now and am worried I will not be able to live with myself if I stick with this. |
Anonymous
| Typical woman. Sounds like your DH is a great guy, treats you well, and is a good husband... yet that's not enough. |
Anonymous
| Average nice guy sounds like a good catch for a socially awkward and grumpy woman. |
Anonymous
| I think you might have the wrong idea about relationships. |
Anonymous
| Life is what you make of it. Bloom where you are planted. |
Anonymous
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"handsome provider types"
is this really how people think about the most important people in their lives? ugh. -happy DW if it matters |
Anonymous
| Let me guess: rationed sex every 6 weeks with DH, but there is a really hot guy at work who excites you? |
Anonymous
No I would bet lots of money the OP is actually an MRA troll. Someone should post in website feedback and ask Jeff |
Anonymous
| typical woman indeed. grow up. |
Anonymous
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I was with 2 girlfriends yesterday. We are all accomplished and divorced. I'm a lawyer, one is a doctor and the other is an executive. We all talked about how we wanted the "catch". Handsome, ambition, makes money. Our husbands were all of those things. They were also cheaters and controlling.
Now, we just want kind and a guy who's perfect for us. Not someone else. You didn't settle. You just don't know it. People were SHOCKED when I got divorced. People have no idea what is going on in your house. You may look at couples and dream and he could be beating her. Focus on someone who is good to you. That's your guy. |
Anonymous
| He's nice and treats you well. Based on your comments it sounds like he is the one who settled. I wish him better luck the second time around. |
Anonymous
Haven’t you heard the story Obama once told of seeing Michelle’s ex-husband? Something to the effect of, see what you would have been with if we weren’t together, and her response was, no he would’ve been president instead of you 
Behind every great man is a loving woman believing in the best for him. Take this vision for your life and the power of agreement you have in your marriage, and do the work in your family, instead of discarding it to chase something glittery that may have strings attached to a hell you could t imagine. If there is adultey, abuse, addiction, the conversation changes but this is normal regret and fear, just don’t feed it anymore. And you should probably stay off of DCUM for inspiration.
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Anonymous
| Not ex-husband just ex sorry about that |
Anonymous
| Do fun things together. Bond over experiences. My husband is handsome, outgoing, and adventuresome... and he has a major anger problem. I would love to be married to a Steady Eddie. |
Anonymous
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The fact is that YOU are ordinary, unexciting, and unimpressive. YOU are run of the mill and average (nothing wrong with that - most people are). You have found a guy at your level. It is best that you come to terms with this. If you don't "settle", your options will not improve. If you could not attract a top-quality man at 18-22, you are not going to attract one at 32. That's just reality.
Now everyone's going to hate on me for my realtalk, but someone had to say it. |