I settled and it’s unsettling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact is that YOU are ordinary, unexciting, and unimpressive. YOU are run of the mill and average (nothing wrong with that - most people are). You have found a guy at your level. It is best that you come to terms with this. If you don't "settle", your options will not improve. If you could not attract a top-quality man at 18-22, you are not going to attract one at 32. That's just reality.

Now everyone's going to hate on me for my realtalk, but someone had to say it.

What was so special about my sisters then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact is that YOU are ordinary, unexciting, and unimpressive. YOU are run of the mill and average (nothing wrong with that - most people are). You have found a guy at your level. It is best that you come to terms with this. If you don't "settle", your options will not improve. If you could not attract a top-quality man at 18-22, you are not going to attract one at 32. That's just reality.

Now everyone's going to hate on me for my realtalk, but someone had to say it.

What was so special about my sisters then?

I'm guessing their personalities don't suck. You sound like a miserable person so you're not exactly going to attract the best.

[Anonymous]

I'm divorced. I'll take your husband if you want to cast him aside. What I would have given for mine to have been a nice guy.

[Anonymous]

Another divorced women here who’s feeling lonely and wants to be with a nice guy. Nothing more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact is that YOU are ordinary, unexciting, and unimpressive. YOU are run of the mill and average (nothing wrong with that - most people are). You have found a guy at your level. It is best that you come to terms with this. If you don't "settle", your options will not improve. If you could not attract a top-quality man at 18-22, you are not going to attract one at 32. That's just reality.

Now everyone's going to hate on me for my realtalk, but someone had to say it.

What was so special about my sisters then?

In your OP you said your sisters were great beauties and that you were grump and shy and didn't give a crap about your appearance.

You are lucky you found your DH. But I think you should divorce him if you don't have kids. Let him go to a nice woman who would appreciate having a nice guy,

Geez. You are lazy and entitled.

[Anonymous]

TROOOOOLLL!
And quite a lazy one.
Yet so many people take this post seriously.

[Anonymous]

So why were you grumpy?

[Anonymous]

this is why looks do matter, or at least putting some effort into your appearance. Don't be fat or dress sloppy-your prime years to meet tons of people are 18-29. Use them wisely, date a lot and figure out the best person for you. OP its not too late to chalk this up to a starter marriage. But why were you such a grump back them? thats a bigger issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The other post inspired this. I always knew what the high quality guys were but for some reason they never expressed an interest in me. Even when I was in my teens and twenties, I was a socially awkward, grumpy, shy girl. I never went out to bars or had friends. So there I was at 25 and hopelessly single.

I finally chased a guy and turned out he liked me back and now we’re married.

He is nice and treat me well. He is just so ordinary. There is nothing exciting or impressive about him. Total runnofbthe mill average nice guy.

My sisters however were great beauties. They each found the handsome provider types.
I hate to say it but I wonder if I could’ve done better if I had put more effort into my looks and had self esteem. I did really look quite nice when I got dolled up.

I am 32 now and am worried I will not be able to live with myself if I stick with this.

You seem to have plenty of self-esteem.

[Anonymous]

It seems to me that you got very lucky considering how you described yourself. Poor guy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The other post inspired this. I always knew what the high quality guys were but for some reason they never expressed an interest in me. Even when I was in my teens and twenties, I was a socially awkward, grumpy, shy girl. I never went out to bars or had friends. So there I was at 25 and hopelessly single.

I finally chased a guy and turned out he liked me back and now we’re married.

He is nice and treat me well. He is just so ordinary. There is nothing exciting or impressive about him. Total runnofbthe mill average nice guy.

My sisters however were great beauties. They each found the handsome provider types.
I hate to say it but I wonder if I could’ve done better if I had put more effort into my looks and had self esteem. I did really look quite nice when I got dolled up.

I am 32 now and am worried I will not be able to live with myself if I stick with this.

"I finally chased a guy" and "handsome provider types" and "got dolled up"? What?
Are you sure you are a 32 year old woman and not a 50 year old man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Average nice guy sounds like a good catch for a socially awkward and grumpy woman.

+1 Think how much better your DH could have done if he'd focused on his looks and self-esteem, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t you heard the story Obama once told of seeing Michelle’s ex-husband? Something to the effect of, see what you would have been with if we weren’t together, and her response was, no he would’ve been president instead of you

Behind every great man is a loving woman believing in the best for him. Take this vision for your life and the power of agreement you have in your marriage, and do the work in your family, instead of discarding it to chase something glittery that may have strings attached to a hell you could t imagine.

If there is adultey, abuse, addiction, the conversation changes but this is normal regret and fear, just don’t feed it anymore.

And you should probably stay off of DCUM for inspiration.

Michelle Obama’s was previously divorced??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So why were you grumpy?

Op here. I was grumpy, not grumpy. But I was very very shy and awkward and had no idea how to dress up or do my makeup.

I look like a 7 now at 32 because I take care of myself and can dress up nicely. At 25 I was hopeless. Long baggy t shirts, long unbrushed hair, sweatpants...no makeup. No wonder guys never approached me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t you heard the story Obama once told of seeing Michelle’s ex-husband? Something to the effect of, see what you would have been with if we weren’t together, and her response was, no he would’ve been president instead of you

Behind every great man is a loving woman believing in the best for him. Take this vision for your life and the power of agreement you have in your marriage, and do the work in your family, instead of discarding it to chase something glittery that may have strings attached to a hell you could t imagine.

If there is adultey, abuse, addiction, the conversation changes but this is normal regret and fear, just don’t feed it anymore.

And you should probably stay off of DCUM for inspiration.

Michelle Obama’s was previously divorced??

No she wasn’t