Do you check your teenagers’ texts / chats / social media accounts?

[Anonymous]

Yes, in middle school, with her knowledge, I monitored her texts and Instagram. As time wore on, I could see her maturity level in dealing with the social media she participated in and she was handling things well. I stopped actively monitoring and she came to me if she needed input on anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100% yes. Mine are 13 and 15. They know this. I check it in front of them alot. For kids I know, I don't go into those conversations. I'm looking for kids they don't know, inappropriate group chats (ie. porn videos sent to my son from other kids, etc). I also check for secret apps. They have Instagram. They are not allowed Snapchat. Ever. I am 100% transparent about this. I tell them they do not have privacy. They did not pay for their phones. They do not pay the bills. They are too young. Privacy is a privilege, not a right, when it comes to the internet and social media. They know I can't wait until they have privacy, and they know that I support that fully. For our house, it will be when they go to college. They don't like this, but honestly they don't hate it either. And my son has used it (with my permission) to get out of some really dice group text chats (many of which were even on the FCPS system). He says "Dude, don't send me that stuff, you know my Mom checks my phone....." It has given him a filter, and a way out, without being a social pariah. There is NO comparison to when we were growing up and having a parent listen in on your phone call. We live in a different world, with different risks. And right now, they are on my watch......

My 13 yo DS has done this too. Told his friends not to send him XX because his mom checks his phone. And I appreciate it when I know that his friends’ mom check their phones. I have told my son to be aware of what he texts Larlo and don’t text anything you wouldn’t want his mom to see. Honestly, I believe it’s setting up good habits. Don’t talk shut about other kids via text, for example. Don’t accept texts from random people. Takes time and guidance to learn that. It’s my job.

I won’t be doing it college, and now is the time to help him text more safely.

[Anonymous]

*don’t talk shit

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t just give my kid a car and say ‘go for it’. I’d want to help him learn how to drive safely and respect others. I see the phone as similarly powerful. My job is to help my 13 year old learn how to use it responsibly.

[Anonymous]

Yes.