Be honest. Which of your kids is your favorite?

[Anonymous]

I have an 8yo and 6yo. Somehow we’ve ended up more me (mom) with 6yo and dad with 8yo. We divide this way a lot as my Dh works best with our oldest and they have varying sports schedules etc. But, I truly don’t have a favorite. I enjoy them each so much on their own ... together they are huge PITA!! So my favorite is the one I can spend solo time with.

[Anonymous]

I love them all the same, but I like my middle child the best. It’s hard to admit even on an anonymous board. She is the most difficult one, but she is strong, smart, fearless and brave. She is passionate and athletic… she says what she wants and is very practical and helpful…. she might be the hardest to parent, but she is the one I worry about the least. She will always be fine.
My eldest daughter is easy, smart, sweet, but fearful, with her head in the clouds. I always worry that other kids are taking advantage of her or that she cares about unimportant things.

My youngest is a boy and is almost 2. He is funny, sweet and cute, but I can’t compare my relationships with my older two with the one I can have with him for now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP. If you have a favorite, why is it them?

I said on the first page that my son is my favorite. It's him, then three daughters. Plus a stepson and stepdaughter.
1. He's special because he's my only son (if he were my only girl he'd be special too - I am not obsessed with having a son)
2. He's a mama's boy. Even now as a grown adult, he holds my hand when we're walking somewhere, if he sits next to me on the couch he's physically touching me, if someone was even the tiniest bit mean to me, he'd be searching my face to see if I was upset, he brings flowers when he comes over, he is the only of my kids who would ask in the evening "how was your day?" I could go on and on.
3. He's super easy. Even though he's my most sensitive kid, I found it very easy to understand what he was sensitive about and why, and help him be more comfortable.
4. He writes the sweetest cards and has since he was little.

Although I feel sorry for you daughters, I can understand why in this case.

[Anonymous]

I only have one now and plan to have more. I think my eldest will always be my favorite just because he was the first. The longest bond. He made me a mom. But what do I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle child. Oldest child has ASD and brings no joy to our lives. I love the youngest but she has a difficult temperament.

Do you also love your oldest?

No. Used to, but now only feel duty. There is no reciprocity and my child is violent.

This is horrible. I bet your child can feel that. It's your job as a parent to love your children unconditionally.

I agree. My oldest child has SN - he has a rare syndrome and requires lots of attention because of his ID and medical issues. Although he is not violent he does have behavior issues mostly stem from non-compliance and it's exhausting. But I love him to pieces. Yes, I get tired of him and luckily we have a wonderful aide who's been with us for years who is great with him. We also have him go to respite to give me and my husband a break and do things with my youngest that my SN can't do. We also take turns handling him if he's in "a mood" so we don't get burned out. My youngest is neurotypical but I can't compare the two (as far as loving one better than the other).

[Anonymous]

Impossible to say. We have a 4 year old DD and 1 year old DS. I adore them equally and love them completely and unconditionally. DD would be the easy choice but that’s only because we know her better. She’s funny and feisty and a tiny version of myself. I see my best and worst qualities in her and seeing her grow up shatters my heart in a way I can’t describe.

But we’re still learning who DS is at this age. He’s happy and smiley and so much his own person. I can’t wait to see him grow up. He’s easy going unlike his sister and just happy to be with his people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP. If you have a favorite, why is it them?

I said on the first page that my son is my favorite. It's him, then three daughters. Plus a stepson and stepdaughter.
1. He's special because he's my only son (if he were my only girl he'd be special too - I am not obsessed with having a son)
2. He's a mama's boy. Even now as a grown adult, he holds my hand when we're walking somewhere, if he sits next to me on the couch he's physically touching me, if someone was even the tiniest bit mean to me, he'd be searching my face to see if I was upset, he brings flowers when he comes over, he is the only of my kids who would ask in the evening "how was your day?" I could go on and on.
3. He's super easy. Even though he's my most sensitive kid, I found it very easy to understand what he was sensitive about and why, and help him be more comfortable.
4. He writes the sweetest cards and has since he was little.

Is your son married? How does he treat his husband/wife? How do you get along with your SIL/ DIL?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest of 4. My second son... oooh he's a challenging porcupine. I think my husband was the same in his family so his parents were shocked he would pair up. We will be delighted if he finds a mate, whereas NO ONE will ever be deserving of my eldest...

Good luck to his future wife!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no favorite. I love both of my daughters equally.

Same for my two sons. Interestingly, out of 6 kids, I was my Dad's favorite and he told everyone.

Same for my two boys and same with my dad - I'm the only girl with 3 brothers. He also blatantly and vocally favors my firstborn son and he has 4 other grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My oldest of 4. My second son... oooh he's a challenging porcupine. I think my husband was the same in his family so his parents were shocked he would pair up. We will be delighted if he finds a mate, whereas NO ONE will ever be deserving of my eldest...

Good luck to his future wife!

Yeah. The resulting BS the future wife will suffer from this poster you quotes is why some MIL's get cut off and barely see the grandkids. It'll be totally justified, too.

[Anonymous]

To be honest, I’m not sure. Probably my youngest, even though she has a difficult temperament. My oldest (shes 13) is a bit of a closed book emotionally. My youngest (11) shares a lot with me. She’s emotional, temperamental, anxious but very caring. Smart but adhd and maybe slight dyslexia.

That said, most people in my family and friends prefer my oldest because she’s socially savvy, super smart, responsible, goes with the flow, if she gets tired or anxious she bottles it up so no one is bothered by her. Sometimes I think I compensated for how wonderful everyone found her compared to her sister by favoring the younger to make it fair. Then I feel guilty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that's an interesting philosophical question. How does someone force themselves to "love a child unconditionally", as pp claims every parent should do?

Love is a choice. It’s action. If you can “force yourself” do to anything you can put in the work to love your child unconditionally.

I felt unconditional love when he was a + sign on a pregnancy test. I love both of my kids with my whole heart and would do anything for them.

Yeah I'd felt the same way. I've never loved anyone as unconditionally as I love my children. I tell them all the time that they will never love me as much as I love them. It is the way if the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no favorite. I love both of my daughters equally.

Thank you for your children. My sister was the favorite and it scarred me for life. To all of you who have a favorite, do not think for a single moment that your other children do not know and it hurts them. Parents are now dead and I have no relationship with my sister. Shame on all of you for not loving all your children the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, I’m not sure. Probably my youngest, even though she has a difficult temperament. My oldest (shes 13) is a bit of a closed book emotionally. My youngest (11) shares a lot with me. She’s emotional, temperamental, anxious but very caring. Smart but adhd and maybe slight dyslexia.

That said, most people in my family and friends prefer my oldest because she’s socially savvy, super smart, responsible, goes with the flow, if she gets tired or anxious she bottles it up so no one is bothered by her. Sometimes I think I compensated for how wonderful everyone found her compared to her sister by favoring the younger to make it fair. Then I feel guilty.

You should feel guilty.

[Anonymous]

I think we all love our kids the same, but we may like one more than the rest. I think it’s human and normal. The “favorite” might change as well. It does nit mean that we favor one over the other/s. I personally spend more time with one of my kids because she needs me more, but I like another one the best… it’s her personality. My husband matches better (personality wise) with another one. I think my kids are all lived the same and get similar levels of general attention from us parents