Be honest. Which of your kids is your favorite?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no favorite. I love both of my daughters equally.

Thank you for your children. My sister was the favorite and it scarred me for life. To all of you who have a favorite, do not think for a single moment that your other children do not know and it hurts them. Parents are now dead and I have no relationship with my sister. Shame on all of you for not loving all your children the same.

+100. All these children will be in therapy in several years complaining that their sibling was always the crowned jewel. We see this on DCUM literally once a week 😹

[Anonymous]

I've wondered about this. One cannot talk about it in real life with anyone, lest one wants to get judged, but we know it's natural to have different connections with one's children.

I really think part of that connection is innate chemistry. DS1 had it with DH. He just naturally preferred DH above anyone else, from infancy, when I was providing 95% of his care. As he grows older, he's starting to even out a bit between us, but he still strongly gravitates toward his dad.

My younger son bonded to me strongly ever since birth. He loves his dad now, but still prefers me and is very attached to me. This attachment is something that I never experienced with DS1, who's much more independent in general.

I love them both and treat them fairly, but my emotional chords are more tender toward one of them. You can guess which one.

[Anonymous]

I truly don’t have a favorite. I bond with my kids over different things. My son is like me in a lot of ways and because of that, he is easier for me to understand and relate to than my daughter. But I have a constant feeling of deep overwhelming love for both and can’t say I’m closer to one than the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've wondered about this. One cannot talk about it in real life with anyone, lest one wants to get judged, but we know it's natural to have different connections with one's children.

I really think part of that connection is innate chemistry. DS1 had it with DH. He just naturally preferred DH above anyone else, from infancy, when I was providing 95% of his care. As he grows older, he's starting to even out a bit between us, but he still strongly gravitates toward his dad.

My younger son bonded to me strongly ever since birth. He loves his dad now, but still prefers me and is very attached to me. This attachment is something that I never experienced with DS1, who's much more independent in general.

I love them both and treat them fairly, but my emotional chords are more tender toward one of them. You can guess which one.

Yikes. You’re children can guess too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've wondered about this. One cannot talk about it in real life with anyone, lest one wants to get judged, but we know it's natural to have different connections with one's children.

I really think part of that connection is innate chemistry. DS1 had it with DH. He just naturally preferred DH above anyone else, from infancy, when I was providing 95% of his care. As he grows older, he's starting to even out a bit between us, but he still strongly gravitates toward his dad.

My younger son bonded to me strongly ever since birth. He loves his dad now, but still prefers me and is very attached to me. This attachment is something that I never experienced with DS1, who's much more independent in general.

I love them both and treat them fairly, but my emotional chords are more tender toward one of them. You can guess which one.

Yikes. You’re children can guess too.

*meant to say your. Point still stands though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t love them all the same, but I love them all equally.

My oldest is the oldest and my first born. He is also a lot like DH, and I love watching him grow up and turn into a young man. He is quiet and serious and has so much intensity. I love getting into his mind and finding out what he is thinking.
My second child is a lot like me. We like a lot of the same books and movies. We worry about the same things. I feel like I have a special bond with him because I usually know what he is thinking.
My third child is my only girl. She loves art and music and sees the beauty in everything. Everyone loves her. At her first communion, she stood up in front of the entire congregation and described love as a feeling like warm soup is filling all of the parts inside you that you didn’t know were cold and empty.
And my youngest is my baby and my extrovert with the big personality. He is the kind of kid that had teenage and adult friends that I had never met before when he was four or five years old. People just walk up to him on the playground or in the hallway, call out his name, and give him a five or a handshake.

Same. I have 2, and very similar to your oldest two.
Oldest is a mini of my DH. He is challenging at times, but with a very big heart. He’s sweet, thoughtful, smart, and sometimes a big PITA. Very stubborn.
He thinks his younger brother is the favorite because we often “side” with the younger. Typically it’s because of a fight where older son was picking on younger. Sometimes it’s to avoid additional conflict. And sometimes we side with older son. He also doesn’t remember when he was the only child and got all the attention, or when second child was born and I felt so bad that older child had to share me that I paid way more attention to him. Typically I would hand baby off to anyone that would hold him so I could give older son more attention.
Younger son is a mini me. I can tell his emotions. He is super snuggly and easier to get along with… in part because he’s so much like me, in part because he’s not a teen yet.
I love them equally. I can’t imagine ever having to give either of them up. I would rather die.

[Anonymous]

I have 4 of the same gender and I truly don’t have a favorite. I have amazing moments and annoyed moments with each of them. They are all young, though.

For those with favorites, when did one become your favorite? As they got older and you got to know their personalities more? Or was it immediate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Second (youngest). I am a snuggler and so is he. He is also really positive and just so sweet. He’s kind of like a puppy, loves without expecting anything. The oldest doesn’t like snuggling so much and is more negative and volatile.

But I adore her too. She is so fun to be around and we have the best conversations. She is hilarious and creative and it doesn’t hurt that she likes me even though she’s a teenager.

I understand this. Same here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 4 of the same gender and I truly don’t have a favorite. I have amazing moments and annoyed moments with each of them. They are all young, though.

For those with favorites, when did one become your favorite? As they got older and you got to know their personalities more? Or was it immediate?

As their personalities and temperaments started showing. I just get along better with one type v the other. Of course I love them both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think we all love our kids the same, but we may like one more than the rest. I think it’s human and normal. The “favorite” might change as well. It does nit mean that we favor one over the other/s. I personally spend more time with one of my kids because she needs me more, but I like another one the best… it’s her personality. My husband matches better (personality wise) with another one. I think my kids are all lived the same and get similar levels of general attention from us parents

Well put.

[Anonymous]

I just have one kid and don't have a favorite. DC bonds better with DH and it is what it is I do love my kid. I'm pretty sure if I had another one it will be one more DH mini me what to say my genes can't compete

[Anonymous]

I’ve got an only so the answer is easy for me

[Anonymous]

I alway thought it was my oldest, but my cleaning lady (of 11y) is sure it is the youngest. Or at least she thinks Im much more lenient with my youngest.

Oldest is 11 and youngest is 7…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP. If you have a favorite, why is it them?

I said on the first page that my son is my favorite. It's him, then three daughters. Plus a stepson and stepdaughter.
1. He's special because he's my only son (if he were my only girl he'd be special too - I am not obsessed with having a son)
2. He's a mama's boy. Even now as a grown adult, he holds my hand when we're walking somewhere, if he sits next to me on the couch he's physically touching me, if someone was even the tiniest bit mean to me, he'd be searching my face to see if I was upset, he brings flowers when he comes over, he is the only of my kids who would ask in the evening "how was your day?" I could go on and on.
3. He's super easy. Even though he's my most sensitive kid, I found it very easy to understand what he was sensitive about and why, and help him be more comfortable.
4. He writes the sweetest cards and has since he was little.

Is your son married? How does he treat his husband/wife? How do you get along with your SIL/ DIL?

He's not married. He's had two serious relationships since college, and he's seemed to treat both very well from what we've seen/heard. I'm sure I'll get along with whoever he marries.

I wouldn't be so sure about that. IT's very telling that both of his serious relationships did not pan out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no favorite. I love both of my daughters equally.

Thank you for your children. My sister was the favorite and it scarred me for life. To all of you who have a favorite, do not think for a single moment that your other children do not know and it hurts them. Parents are now dead and I have no relationship with my sister. Shame on all of you for not loving all your children the same.

+100. All these children will be in therapy in several years complaining that their sibling was always the crowned jewel. We see this on DCUM literally once a week 😹

Yup, It saddens me how so many have deluded themselves into thinking it's normal to have a favorite child.