Niece's wedding gift-how much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much money would you give to a niece for her wedding? We are very set financially, but do not want sister in law to feel she has to reciprocate equally when our children marry. Just wondering what a nice amount would be.

$100.00 is plenty.

If you actually attend the wedding- $100 is so cheap. You’re likely costing the bride and groom a lot to attend, especially if you bring your family.

If when I throw a wedding for either of my children, it will be my pleasure to spend the money on the party for the special occasion. I certainly would not expect the guests to think that they need to pay for themselves based on what the party cost. They are guests! Of course, right now ds says he’s never getting married and dd wants a destination wedding lol. Of course, whatever they do or don’t do is fine with me. They have many years before this will be a discussion. We teach our kids that any gift of any amount is appreciated. The posters calling others cheap are completely inappropriate. People do not throw a wedding to make money or to make back their costs. If they can’t afford the level of party, they need to scale it back rather than expect to rely on gifts to pay for the event.

This. It’s so tacky to expect your guests to cover the costs of their plates. They’re you’re guests. Any gift is generous. And I’m from NY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$500-$1000 is what we got from aunts, uncles, and even some distant relatives that my parents made me invite. This was three years ago.
Friend group was $100-$250 and we were just under 30years old. If it matters this was black tie, downtown dc.

I have a local friend who’s spouse is from WI and they give $50 to his WI friends and the couples are shocked at the generosity lol.

Maybe the people on here saying $100 is plenty are from WI? I cannot fathom giving $50 for a wedding gift. I would spend more for a shower.

[Anonymous]

Whoa. Some of these numbers are large. When niece married in 2012, we gave $250 plus threw a home get together for her and new husband.
Everyone else - extended family members/friends we usually gift $100

I will say I'm definitely not DCUM financially comfortable. I make mid 5 figures so no way would I be shelling out $500+ for a gift.

[Anonymous]

I think WASPs just don’t give much cash for wedding gifts—or any cash whatsoever. I have two friends who were appalled at the idea that anyone would give cash for a wedding present, and surprise, they were also both boarding school kids with summer houses in Maine.

Everybody else does tend to give cash. Catholic, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, Baha’i: bring on the cash!!

[Anonymous]

Crap are we giving 1k now!?

[Anonymous]

Wow like others I am shocked at these numbers. I come from a pretty wealthy family and extended family is all decently well off, professional, and I’m originally from the dc area. Would have fallen off my chair if an aunt or uncle gave me $1000? We had one family friend give us $500 and I was shocked. Ain’t and uncles bought nice things off our registry that probably added up to 150-200 and I thought that was very generous. Definitely sounds cultural!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Crap are we giving 1k now!?

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow like others I am shocked at these numbers. I come from a pretty wealthy family and extended family is all decently well off, professional, and I’m originally from the dc area. Would have fallen off my chair if an aunt or uncle gave me $1000? We had one family friend give us $500 and I was shocked. Ain’t and uncles bought nice things off our registry that probably added up to 150-200 and I thought that was very generous. Definitely sounds cultural!

Your family is just cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$500-$1000 is what we got from aunts, uncles, and even some distant relatives that my parents made me invite. This was three years ago.
Friend group was $100-$250 and we were just under 30years old. If it matters this was black tie, downtown dc.

I have a local friend who’s spouse is from WI and they give $50 to his WI friends and the couples are shocked at the generosity lol.

Maybe the people on here saying $100 is plenty are from WI? I cannot fathom giving $50 for a wedding gift. I would spend more for a shower.

I said $100 and I live in NYC suburbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much money would you give to a niece for her wedding? We are very set financially, but do not want sister in law to feel she has to reciprocate equally when our children marry. Just wondering what a nice amount would be.

$100.00 is plenty.

If you actually attend the wedding- $100 is so cheap. You’re likely costing the bride and groom a lot to attend, especially if you bring your family.

If when I throw a wedding for either of my children, it will be my pleasure to spend the money on the party for the special occasion. I certainly would not expect the guests to think that they need to pay for themselves based on what the party cost. They are guests! Of course, right now ds says he’s never getting married and dd wants a destination wedding lol. Of course, whatever they do or don’t do is fine with me. They have many years before this will be a discussion. We teach our kids that any gift of any amount is appreciated. The posters calling others cheap are completely inappropriate. People do not throw a wedding to make money or to make back their costs. If they can’t afford the level of party, they need to scale it back rather than expect to rely on gifts to pay for the event.

Well we were 24 and 25. We threw our own wedding and it was lovely. Most couples we knew threw their own weddings. We weren’t broke but we didn’t make 100k combined, had student loans. Lots of our friends gave $100 and that was awesome! But we did pay more per person than that on food and open bar. Seems crazy that an aunt and uncle couldn’t even cover their plates at a wedding. It’s stingy unless you can’t afford more. We wanted people present and didn’t care about gifts.

[Anonymous]

$250 check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$500-$1000 is what we got from aunts, uncles, and even some distant relatives that my parents made me invite. This was three years ago.
Friend group was $100-$250 and we were just under 30years old. If it matters this was black tie, downtown dc.

I have a local friend who’s spouse is from WI and they give $50 to his WI friends and the couples are shocked at the generosity lol.

Maybe the people on here saying $100 is plenty are from WI? I cannot fathom giving $50 for a wedding gift. I would spend more for a shower.

Haha, no. We had our wedding in WI - even the locals gave $200 along with the coasties. think the cost side was $100pp easy.

[Anonymous]

Nothing beats my Inlaws cluelessness or cheapness of grabbing an old vase, quickly wrapping it up while all 4 of them headed out to a big wedding in a big city downtown. Cheap and clueless AF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends what ethnicity and religion and class you are.

This. When I married in 2004, DH’s random relatives I never met gave us $180 and closer relatives (like aunts and uncles) gave $360. Grandparents gave a few thousand.

[Anonymous]

This is what i just found from Dec of '23
For those that are giving thousnds, Im guessing your last name is Jones. Good grief.

THE ETIQUETTE

She offers these guidelines to wedding-goers wherever they might be: A distant relative or co-worker should give $75-$100; a friend or relative, $100-$125; a closer relative, up to $150. If you are wealthy, are you expected to inflate the gift? No, Cooper says