Where on earth does one meet men in midlife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a divorced woman in my 60s who is not looking for a man but if I was I would easily find one on the golf course. I play on public courses, sometimes they put me with other players if there is less than four players in their group. Other times I end up playing with two or three other singles, none of us know each other. The ones I end up playing with are 90% guys and an occasional woman or two, and many of them are single. They range in age from late teens to late 80s with many in your age range. Typically it is fun to chat with them and even during covid it is not at all necessary to get closer than 6 or even 10 or more feet from anyone while playing golf.

You do not really need to be any good at golf. On most public courses there are plenty of people who are just learning or who have played for years and suck anyway. Lots of us out there just hacking around and having fun. If you are worried about it take a few lessons before you play a real game.

I go by myself but if you must go with a friend bring one other woman but no more than that. I find the guys, of all ages, are usually friendly and nice almost without exception.

If you are looking for a high earner or a man with means then skip the public courses and go for a country club, assuming you can afford it.

Golf courses are just full of guys, some of them are already taken obviously but there are also plenty who aren't.

Fantastic advice here but let me add one important thing: you MUST "keep pace" with the group! Your score does not matter but if you (like most beginners) play too slowly THAT will annoy your group and the course marshals and you just blew any dating opportunities. Hanging out on the putting green or driving range might also be a great way to "ask that guy for some help".

[Anonymous]

Best place for people over 50 is work. I know two people in my department that married people from the same agency. They were either divorced or widowed. They retired with double fed retirement benefits! Sweet.

[Anonymous]

Id agree with golf but disagree with country clubs. As a woman who is a single digit handicap and divorced u actually left the country club I was at- it was all couples. I work FT so the women’s 18 hole team events were all on Tuesday mornings and full of non working women, couples things were off the table and gossip was rampant- plus I would never pay 180$ (Non family guest greens fee) to bring a new date there amd set of the gossip chain. Much more realistic to meet a date on public course or to join the single golfers league (i found a very active one on Meetup )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Best place for people over 50 is work. I know two people in my department that married people from the same agency. They were either divorced or widowed. They retired with double fed retirement benefits! Sweet.

Man here with single male friends. Most of my male friends would definitely shy away from any flirting or meeting people at work -- no reason to risk a sexual harrassment charge that can ruin your career. Plenty of other places to meet people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best place for people over 50 is work. I know two people in my department that married people from the same agency. They were either divorced or widowed. They retired with double fed retirement benefits! Sweet.

Man here with single male friends. Most of my male friends would definitely shy away from any flirting or meeting people at work -- no reason to risk a sexual harrassment charge that can ruin your career. Plenty of other places to meet people.

At your typical Fed agency or with older workers (50+) nobody is concerned with harassment. If your friends are going after the young non-senior employees that’s something else entirely. I have so many GS-14/15 co-workers that met their spouses on the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m super skeptical that an average looking women over 50 could date a guy under 50 who is more than 5 years younger. I’ve just never seen it, except with movie stars. In my experience, the guys are usually a couple years older or up to 10 years older.

I just posted upthread that I am dating men 8-10 years younger. I don't know what to tell you. I look great for my age.

I’m 45 and doing the same. High 6 figure earner who is attractive and fit. It’s not hard, none of us want to remarry and we have all had our kids- life is short why limit yourself to only older men? Silly.

Well, I'm realistic. I'm a low or mid six figures earner who is maybe a 6 on a 1-10 scale (basically average). No way I'm kidding myself that some guy in his 30s would be interested in me for more than a hot minute. You guys sound like you are probably really good looking -- I'm sure that helps! I bet when you were younger, guys bought you drinks at bars, and cops let you off with just a warning for speeding...

I am the 57 yo. I have a decent face and no wrinkles, but I am overweight.I am actually better looking now than I was when I was younger--better hair, etc. I was not popular when I was younger, but I was also very insecure. Now I carry myself like I am pretty and sexy and they tend to fall for it. I make sure to turn my RBF off in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best place for people over 50 is work. I know two people in my department that married people from the same agency. They were either divorced or widowed. They retired with double fed retirement benefits! Sweet.

Man here with single male friends. Most of my male friends would definitely shy away from any flirting or meeting people at work -- no reason to risk a sexual harrassment charge that can ruin your career. Plenty of other places to meet people.

At your typical Fed agency or with older workers (50+) nobody is concerned with harassment. If your friends are going after the young non-senior employees that’s something else entirely. I have so many GS-14/15 co-workers that met their spouses on the job.

All the men at my Fed job are gay

[Anonymous]

Since you’re newly single or still married/divorcing I’d focus on losing the weight and dealing with healing. It’s much harder to meet an attractive successful partner as an overweight person, or one who is still married/ very recently divorced.

It takes a lot of time to heal- focus on you amd be your best self before you enter the market. Falling in love with yourself takes time but it’s so much fun once you get there. I think that will help and good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need a man?

Cock, companionship and money

Money? That's sad.

Be that as it may, it’s a driving force for many women

Especially for women who married for love the first time. Why not try something completely different? Don’t discriminate PP, Rich guys need companionship too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best place for people over 50 is work. I know two people in my department that married people from the same agency. They were either divorced or widowed. They retired with double fed retirement benefits! Sweet.

Man here with single male friends. Most of my male friends would definitely shy away from any flirting or meeting people at work -- no reason to risk a sexual harrassment charge that can ruin your career. Plenty of other places to meet people.

At your typical Fed agency or with older workers (50+) nobody is concerned with harassment. If your friends are going after the young non-senior employees that’s something else entirely. I have so many GS-14/15 co-workers that met their spouses on the job.

+1 the younger crowd will think its creepy bc they’ve been conditioned to “understand” that light flirtation and paying compliments to feel out the dating waters at work (where you spend more than half your life!) to be harrassment or creating a hostile work environment. But as long as you stick to the over 50 crowd you’ll probably be fine.
IMO Cuomo’s main issue with this was he started dipping into the under 40s (and under 30s!) pool with his “flirtation” and he’s no George Clooney or Brad Pitt so it was creepy from the jump!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best place for people over 50 is work. I know two people in my department that married people from the same agency. They were either divorced or widowed. They retired with double fed retirement benefits! Sweet.

Man here with single male friends. Most of my male friends would definitely shy away from any flirting or meeting people at work -- no reason to risk a sexual harrassment charge that can ruin your career. Plenty of other places to meet people.

At your typical Fed agency or with older workers (50+) nobody is concerned with harassment. If your friends are going after the young non-senior employees that’s something else entirely. I have so many GS-14/15 co-workers that met their spouses on the job.

+1 the younger crowd will think its creepy bc they’ve been conditioned to “understand” that light flirtation and paying compliments to feel out the dating waters at work (where you spend more than half your life!) to be harrassment or creating a hostile work environment. But as long as you stick to the over 50 crowd you’ll probably be fine.
IMO Cuomo’s main issue with this was he started dipping into the under 40s (and under 30s!) pool with his “flirtation” and he’s no George Clooney or Brad Pitt so it was creepy from the jump!

"It's not harassment if they like it". That was the hold over phrase when I started my career at 25 in 1995. We all flirted. I didn't even realize at the time how creepy some of it truly was.

But, agree. It's power, age and dynamics where the line is crossed. Old, lecherous men that hold power and job influence or--even older men that are in a higher position. Old, equals like most Feds are---not a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tennis. So many single older men in more or less decent shape.

And golf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best place for people over 50 is work. I know two people in my department that married people from the same agency. They were either divorced or widowed. They retired with double fed retirement benefits! Sweet.

Man here with single male friends. Most of my male friends would definitely shy away from any flirting or meeting people at work -- no reason to risk a sexual harrassment charge that can ruin your career. Plenty of other places to meet people.

At your typical Fed agency or with older workers (50+) nobody is concerned with harassment. If your friends are going after the young non-senior employees that’s something else entirely. I have so many GS-14/15 co-workers that met their spouses on the job.

All the men at my Fed job are gay

You apparently work at the State Dept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best place for people over 50 is work. I know two people in my department that married people from the same agency. They were either divorced or widowed. They retired with double fed retirement benefits! Sweet.

Man here with single male friends. Most of my male friends would definitely shy away from any flirting or meeting people at work -- no reason to risk a sexual harrassment charge that can ruin your career. Plenty of other places to meet people.

At your typical Fed agency or with older workers (50+) nobody is concerned with harassment. If your friends are going after the young non-senior employees that’s something else entirely. I have so many GS-14/15 co-workers that met their spouses on the job.

All the men at my Fed job are gay

You apparently work at the State Dept.

Lol. Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:50 and newly single. Ready to move on. But where/how on earth does one meet men these days? Is it the most depressing and scant selection imaginable or are there inexplicably single / available men to date at this age?

The denture cream aisle at CVS?

Looks like a bratty ageist millenial has entered the thread.