If you lie about your hometown, why?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Why do people lie about anything? Because of some internal pain or dysfunction. The answer is not judgement, but sympathy and understanding. Probably they're insecure. better to come at it with kindness and not judgement

Just because people don't feel they owe random busybodies their life story does not mean they are insecure or in pain. OP freely admitted that he/she is trying to profile people based on their hometown, which is weird and rude, and not a good way to get to know people at all.

Where did they admit that? Also why would someone mind being profiled?

OP:
Because I'm curious about other people and knowing where someone grew up gives you an important clue to their identity? I mean... duh?

Why might someone mind being profiled? FFS, are you as obtuse as OP? Try coming from a small town in Kentucky where everyone thinks you're a stupid hick. Or PP who hates the stupid "Minnesota" accent everyone feels obligated to put on. Some people don't feel like playing to your dumb stereotypes over and over.

So basically you dont answer correctly because you're ashamed? Why not say that rather than all this faux outrage?

People can probably already tell you're not FROM an urban area because of the vibe you give off. Energy is very easy to read. I dont see the big deal

So now all urban people have the same vibe and energy?

No, different cities have different energy. But there is a collective "grew up in an urban area" energy, whether that's Seattle, LA, New York, Chicago, etc. And there's a collective "small town" energy

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:This is why I've started asking people "where did you grow up?" Everyone wants to seem like a lifelong urban dweller, and they will do anything to maintain that illusion. It's kind of sad.

Seriously why do you care? Those who are fixated on this seem like the nosiest, most status-obsessed, people. And I'm someone who answers that I'm from Florida because I am. But I don't care how other people answer, I'm just making conversation.

Because I'm curious about other people and knowing where someone grew up gives you an important clue to their identity? I mean... duh?

There you go. The bolded is why some people are uncomfortable with answering your question straight on. You think where they were born and raised is an important clue to their identify, they think you'll make assumptions about them and they'd be right. Plenty of people don't have good associations with where they grew up and may feel more emotional attachment to somewhere else where they actively carved out their identity.

Do you not see the irony of your statement?

Of course it does. Everyone is influenced, both by where they live, and where they grew up. We're suppose to erase 20 years of a person's life?

So basically, you think people will judge you for where you're from and you're afraid of that judgement? Because you think you grew up in some loser town or something?

Who says that they lived in their hometown for 20 years? I lived in mine for 17. My spouse lived in five different states growing up.

17 is pretty close to 20 years...

Are you OP? Are you really this stupid or are you pretending to be an idiot for fun?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:This is why I've started asking people "where did you grow up?" Everyone wants to seem like a lifelong urban dweller, and they will do anything to maintain that illusion. It's kind of sad.

Seriously why do you care? Those who are fixated on this seem like the nosiest, most status-obsessed, people. And I'm someone who answers that I'm from Florida because I am. But I don't care how other people answer, I'm just making conversation.

Because I'm curious about other people and knowing where someone grew up gives you an important clue to their identity? I mean... duh?

There you go. The bolded is why some people are uncomfortable with answering your question straight on. You think where they were born and raised is an important clue to their identify, they think you'll make assumptions about them and they'd be right. Plenty of people don't have good associations with where they grew up and may feel more emotional attachment to somewhere else where they actively carved out their identity.

Do you not see the irony of your statement?

Of course it does. Everyone is influenced, both by where they live, and where they grew up. We're suppose to erase 20 years of a person's life?

So basically, you think people will judge you for where you're from and you're afraid of that judgement? Because you think you grew up in some loser town or something?

Where are you from, OP? I noticed you never mentioned it. I guess you are afraid of our judgement?

No one asked, but I'm from DC, and I answer happily anytime someone asks. I'm not afraid of judgement which is why I dont lie

Ah, okay. I also am from DC (Hardy-Wilson) but I HATE people like you who think we are somehow better than people who moved here more recently.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I've started asking people "where did you grow up?" Everyone wants to seem like a lifelong urban dweller, and they will do anything to maintain that illusion. It's kind of sad.

Seriously why do you care? Those who are fixated on this seem like the nosiest, most status-obsessed, people. And I'm someone who answers that I'm from Florida because I am. But I don't care how other people answer, I'm just making conversation.

Because I'm curious about other people and knowing where someone grew up gives you an important clue to their identity? I mean... duh?

There you go. The bolded is why some people are uncomfortable with answering your question straight on. You think where they were born and raised is an important clue to their identify, they think you'll make assumptions about them and they'd be right. Plenty of people don't have good associations with where they grew up and may feel more emotional attachment to somewhere else where they actively carved out their identity.

Do you not see the irony of your statement?

Of course it does. Everyone is influenced, both by where they live, and where they grew up. We're suppose to erase 20 years of a person's life?

So basically, you think people will judge you for where you're from and you're afraid of that judgement? Because you think you grew up in some loser town or something?

Where are you from, OP? I noticed you never mentioned it. I guess you are afraid of our judgement?

No one asked, but I'm from DC, and I answer happily anytime someone asks. I'm not afraid of judgement which is why I dont lie

Ah, okay. I also am from DC (Hardy-Wilson) but I HATE people like you who think we are somehow better than people who moved here more recently.

I dont think I'm better. That's why I'm wondering why anyone would lie. When I ask someone where they're from, I genuinely want to know. It baffles me when someone with a southern or midwest accent says "DC". I dont get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don’t have to respond to every post.

When you ask the question, people are not lying, they simply don’t understand what you are asking as it is a generic question. If you want a specific answer, ask a specific question.

Again, most people are not lying, have insecurity issues, are embarrassed —- they simply don’t know you want to know they’re home town.

What a strange hill to die on.

I mean... "where are you from?" is pretty specific. But like I said, I can shift over to "where did you grow up" if so many people are going to be disingenuous.

But I dont think the real answer is confusion. It's a simple answer, except for those who grew up in multiple cities (which i totally get)

I think the posters talking about now wanting to be judged for where they're from are the ones actually being honest. And I can at least respect THAT honesty

The thing is, as many people have pointed out, it's not. It's meaning depends on the context. You refuse to accept this even though every normal person understands it, because it's really important to you, for some reason I cannot begin to imagine, that people be ashamed of not being from a city.

[Anonymous]

Any third culture kids out there? The answer to this is often complicated.
When people pause and think about what they are going to say, I typically know I am going to like the people-- with the bottom line being, many people have a straightforward answer and many don't.
If you are one of the ones that don't, I can see it may seem like lying and while I am sure people will cry cancel culture or whatever, it can be a genuine microaggression to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don’t have to respond to every post.

When you ask the question, people are not lying, they simply don’t understand what you are asking as it is a generic question. If you want a specific answer, ask a specific question.

Again, most people are not lying, have insecurity issues, are embarrassed —- they simply don’t know you want to know they’re home town.

What a strange hill to die on.

I mean... "where are you from?" is pretty specific. But like I said, I can shift over to "where did you grow up" if so many people are going to be disingenuous.

But I dont think the real answer is confusion. It's a simple answer, except for those who grew up in multiple cities (which i totally get)

I think the posters talking about now wanting to be judged for where they're from are the ones actually being honest. And I can at least respect THAT honesty

The thing is, as many people have pointed out, it's not. It's meaning depends on the context. You refuse to accept this even though every normal person understands it, because it's really important to you, for some reason I cannot begin to imagine, that people be ashamed of not being from a city.

it really is. And the deliberate "Huh? I dont understand the question" ignorant act is pretty crazy. Unless you grew up traveling from place to place, you knew where you grew up.

Anyway, i will start asking "where did you grew up" to cut out the BS. I already said several times I have no problem doing that at all, since that will cut the song and dance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I've started asking people "where did you grow up?" Everyone wants to seem like a lifelong urban dweller, and they will do anything to maintain that illusion. It's kind of sad.

Seriously why do you care? Those who are fixated on this seem like the nosiest, most status-obsessed, people. And I'm someone who answers that I'm from Florida because I am. But I don't care how other people answer, I'm just making conversation.

Because I'm curious about other people and knowing where someone grew up gives you an important clue to their identity? I mean... duh?

There you go. The bolded is why some people are uncomfortable with answering your question straight on. You think where they were born and raised is an important clue to their identify, they think you'll make assumptions about them and they'd be right. Plenty of people don't have good associations with where they grew up and may feel more emotional attachment to somewhere else where they actively carved out their identity.

Do you not see the irony of your statement?

Of course it does. Everyone is influenced, both by where they live, and where they grew up. We're suppose to erase 20 years of a person's life?

So basically, you think people will judge you for where you're from and you're afraid of that judgement? Because you think you grew up in some loser town or something?

Where are you from, OP? I noticed you never mentioned it. I guess you are afraid of our judgement?

No one asked, but I'm from DC, and I answer happily anytime someone asks. I'm not afraid of judgement which is why I dont lie

Ah, okay. I also am from DC (Hardy-Wilson) but I HATE people like you who think we are somehow better than people who moved here more recently.

I dont think I'm better. That's why I'm wondering why anyone would lie. When I ask someone where they're from, I genuinely want to know. It baffles me when someone with a southern or midwest accent says "DC". I dont get it.

Frankly, you don't come across as genuine or baffled. You sound like a troll.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you should go hang out on the thread that is obsessed with proving that Hilaria Baldwin is not actually Spanish (which she probably is not, but I don't need to chat about it for 50 pages). Those are your peeps. Unless you are already there?

[Anonymous]

What a dumb conversation. Context matters.

If it's a random foreign colleague, I will tell them I now live in DC (the city....not the 'burbs) and grew up in Southern California.

If it's a fellow Californian, I'll them the name of the city.

If it's someone else from SoCal, we will talk about which high schools we attended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don’t have to respond to every post.

When you ask the question, people are not lying, they simply don’t understand what you are asking as it is a generic question. If you want a specific answer, ask a specific question.

Again, most people are not lying, have insecurity issues, are embarrassed —- they simply don’t know you want to know they’re home town.

What a strange hill to die on.

I mean... "where are you from?" is pretty specific. But like I said, I can shift over to "where did you grow up" if so many people are going to be disingenuous.

But I dont think the real answer is confusion. It's a simple answer, except for those who grew up in multiple cities (which i totally get)

I think the posters talking about now wanting to be judged for where they're from are the ones actually being honest. And I can at least respect THAT honesty

The thing is, as many people have pointed out, it's not. It's meaning depends on the context. You refuse to accept this even though every normal person understands it, because it's really important to you, for some reason I cannot begin to imagine, that people be ashamed of not being from a city.

it really is. And the deliberate "Huh? I dont understand the question" ignorant act is pretty crazy. Unless you grew up traveling from place to place, you knew where you grew up.

Anyway, i will start asking "where did you grew up" to cut out the BS. I already said several times I have no problem doing that at all, since that will cut the song and dance

My kids thus far have grown up in 2-4 countries each. At different points in their lives, different cultures had an impact on them. So did my culture (from Europe) and their father's culture (from the US). Where is it correct for them to say they grew up, according to you - especially if they don't feel like being vague or telling you their whole life story?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a dumb conversation. Context matters.

If it's a random foreign colleague, I will tell them I now live in DC (the city....not the 'burbs) and grew up in Southern California.

If it's a fellow Californian, I'll them the name of the city.

If it's someone else from SoCal, we will talk about which high schools we attended.

Well see, this is honest, clear and concise.

[Anonymous]

In college, I dated a boy who told me that he was from San Francisco, just like I was. He said he had gone to high school in Marin, which is why I'd never seen him around. San Francisco does not have a large youth population, so public high school kids pretty much knew each other if you were involved in the social scene. We'd talk about the different restaurants we liked and tell different stories about the city life.

Eight months later, I find out that it was all a lie and he only said that because he wanted a way to connect with me. He'd visited a few times so he knew a little about the city, but i feel hard for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a dumb conversation. Context matters.

If it's a random foreign colleague, I will tell them I now live in DC (the city....not the 'burbs) and grew up in Southern California.

If it's a fellow Californian, I'll them the name of the city.

If it's someone else from SoCal, we will talk about which high schools we attended.

If you call it "the city," don't worry--we all know you aren't from here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don’t have to respond to every post.

When you ask the question, people are not lying, they simply don’t understand what you are asking as it is a generic question. If you want a specific answer, ask a specific question.

Again, most people are not lying, have insecurity issues, are embarrassed —- they simply don’t know you want to know they’re home town.

What a strange hill to die on.

I mean... "where are you from?" is pretty specific. But like I said, I can shift over to "where did you grow up" if so many people are going to be disingenuous.

But I dont think the real answer is confusion. It's a simple answer, except for those who grew up in multiple cities (which i totally get)

I think the posters talking about now wanting to be judged for where they're from are the ones actually being honest. And I can at least respect THAT honesty

The thing is, as many people have pointed out, it's not. It's meaning depends on the context. You refuse to accept this even though every normal person understands it, because it's really important to you, for some reason I cannot begin to imagine, that people be ashamed of not being from a city.

it really is. And the deliberate "Huh? I dont understand the question" ignorant act is pretty crazy. Unless you grew up traveling from place to place, you knew where you grew up.

Anyway, i will start asking "where did you grew up" to cut out the BS. I already said several times I have no problem doing that at all, since that will cut the song and dance

My kids thus far have grown up in 2-4 countries each. At different points in their lives, different cultures had an impact on them. So did my culture (from Europe) and their father's culture (from the US). Where is it correct for them to say they grew up, according to you - especially if they don't feel like being vague or telling you their whole life story?

As I said, I understand military people or people that moved around a lot might not have the simple answer to this question- I have no judgement for them. But I think you could easily say something like "They've lived in several countries, the most recent was ___" or "several countries, the longest time being in ____". Whatever you feel is the most accurate answer for the place that shaped them the most/they spent the most formative years in