If you lie about your hometown, why?

[Anonymous]

I grew up outside one big city (18 yes loved it and still have strong ties)
after college, moved to live in a different big city (15 yes loved it and still have strong ties)
spent a few years in a place I didn’t like and few ties
now live outside of DC (12 years growing on me!)
When people ask I say those locations (not the liked hated parts).

If they ask more I get specific. But sometimes that’s also too much and they we’re just making chit chat and now they heard more than they cared to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In college, I dated a boy who told me that he was from San Francisco, just like I was. He said he had gone to high school in Marin, which is why I'd never seen him around. San Francisco does not have a large youth population, so public high school kids pretty much knew each other if you were involved in the social scene. We'd talk about the different restaurants we liked and tell different stories about the city life.

Eight months later, I find out that it was all a lie and he only said that because he wanted a way to connect with me. He'd visited a few times so he knew a little about the city, but i feel hard for it.

Bingo. This is exactly what I'm talking about. I always side eye people who cant be honest about such a simple question. It's hard to build trust or a friendship if someone wont be honest about something so foundational and basic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up outside one big city (18 yes loved it and still have strong ties)
after college, moved to live in a different big city (15 yes loved it and still have strong ties)
spent a few years in a place I didn’t like and few ties
now live outside of DC (12 years growing on me!)
When people ask I say those locations (not the liked hated parts).

If they ask more I get specific. But sometimes that’s also too much and they we’re just making chit chat and now they heard more than they cared to know.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a dumb conversation. Context matters.

If it's a random foreign colleague, I will tell them I now live in DC (the city....not the 'burbs) and grew up in Southern California.

If it's a fellow Californian, I'll them the name of the city.

If it's someone else from SoCal, we will talk about which high schools we attended.

This.

If random person, I tell them I live in the dc area and grew up in VA
If it is someone from the DC area, I tell them the area I grew up in VA
I almost never talk about my hometown, because it's awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up outside one big city (18 yes loved it and still have strong ties)
after college, moved to live in a different big city (15 yes loved it and still have strong ties)
spent a few years in a place I didn’t like and few ties
now live outside of DC (12 years growing on me!)
When people ask I say those locations (not the liked hated parts).

If they ask more I get specific. But sometimes that’s also too much and they we’re just making chit chat and now they heard more than they cared to know.

I think this is great. I also think throwing in the "I went to college in ____ and lived there after" is also fine because these places can have a big effect on our lives.


As long as it's honest, I love it!

[Anonymous]

OP we get it- those of us from the South or the Midwest are dumb dumb hicks who don't have your cool urban vibe. You win at life.

NB- people that are secure and happy don't need constant external validation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don’t have to respond to every post.

When you ask the question, people are not lying, they simply don’t understand what you are asking as it is a generic question. If you want a specific answer, ask a specific question.

Again, most people are not lying, have insecurity issues, are embarrassed —- they simply don’t know you want to know they’re home town.

What a strange hill to die on.

I mean... "where are you from?" is pretty specific. But like I said, I can shift over to "where did you grow up" if so many people are going to be disingenuous.

But I dont think the real answer is confusion. It's a simple answer, except for those who grew up in multiple cities (which i totally get)

I think the posters talking about now wanting to be judged for where they're from are the ones actually being honest. And I can at least respect THAT honesty

The thing is, as many people have pointed out, it's not. It's meaning depends on the context. You refuse to accept this even though every normal person understands it, because it's really important to you, for some reason I cannot begin to imagine, that people be ashamed of not being from a city.

it really is. And the deliberate "Huh? I dont understand the question" ignorant act is pretty crazy. Unless you grew up traveling from place to place, you knew where you grew up.

Anyway, i will start asking "where did you grew up" to cut out the BS. I already said several times I have no problem doing that at all, since that will cut the song and dance

My kids thus far have grown up in 2-4 countries each. At different points in their lives, different cultures had an impact on them. So did my culture (from Europe) and their father's culture (from the US). Where is it correct for them to say they grew up, according to you - especially if they don't feel like being vague or telling you their whole life story?

As I said, I understand military people or people that moved around a lot might not have the simple answer to this question- I have no judgement for them. But I think you could easily say something like "They've lived in several countries, the most recent was ___" or "several countries, the longest time being in ____". Whatever you feel is the most accurate answer for the place that shaped them the most/they spent the most formative years in

Right- and then the questions about - oh, when were you there? what did you dad or mom do? did you "like it?" (my favorite - did you "like DC?"). Is it true that they all wear clogs and pick tulips? You are a curiousity!

[Anonymous]

Yeah I live in LA. When I ask people where they're from, a lot of people will say LA. I will say, "You're FROM LA?" and then they'll usually answer they're hometown. The locals are used to being somewhat "rare" and dont mind you asking twice.

I have to say, I've noticed it's only people from small towns who do this. Never have I seen someone from New York or Chicago or other major cities give LA as their hometown. It's always someone from a one-stoplight place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In college, I dated a boy who told me that he was from San Francisco, just like I was. He said he had gone to high school in Marin, which is why I'd never seen him around. San Francisco does not have a large youth population, so public high school kids pretty much knew each other if you were involved in the social scene. We'd talk about the different restaurants we liked and tell different stories about the city life.

Eight months later, I find out that it was all a lie and he only said that because he wanted a way to connect with me. He'd visited a few times so he knew a little about the city, but i feel hard for it.

Bingo. This is exactly what I'm talking about. I always side eye people who cant be honest about such a simple question. It's hard to build trust or a friendship if someone wont be honest about something so foundational and basic

for pete's sake. if you are going to dismiss everyone forever based on their response to your stupid where are you from question, you deserve to be alone forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I live in LA. When I ask people where they're from, a lot of people will say LA. I will say, "You're FROM LA?" and then they'll usually answer they're hometown. The locals are used to being somewhat "rare" and dont mind you asking twice.

I have to say, I've noticed it's only people from small towns who do this. Never have I seen someone from New York or Chicago or other major cities give LA as their hometown. It's always someone from a one-stoplight place.

Now imagine that OP is the LA native and is trying to "catch" people doing this. I mean, how insecure do you have to be?

[Anonymous]

"Hometown"? What a quaint provincial term, not used by most modern day people. Op, not everyone is as old fashioned as you.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, "where are you from?" is really vague question. My answer will depend on the context. it might be better to ask the question you want answer, which is "where were you born/raised?"

[Anonymous]

Because our society places way too much value on being from urban, coastal cities, judges "flyover country", and people want to feel special, valued, important. They dont want to apart of the "lower class" that the media so abhors. So they fudge the numbers and say whatever city they've lived in, for however brief a time, that will give them the nod of respect they crave. Even if it's not honest, even if they know it's not true. It's like everyone out there, wanting people to like them, to respect them, to know them as they want to be known.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, "where are you from?" is really vague question. My answer will depend on the context. it might be better to ask the question you want answer, which is "where were you born/raised?"

+1. OP, I, like you, are from DC and still live here, which makes that an easy question for me. My mom, though, was here until she was seven, moved to California, then came back here to get married. How should she answer the question? My DH was born in Denver and then spent 2-3 years there, then Milwaukee, then Albany, then New Jersey because his dad couldn’t hold a job. How should he answer the question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, "where are you from?" is really vague question. My answer will depend on the context. it might be better to ask the question you want answer, which is "where were you born/raised?"

+1. OP, I, like you, are from DC and still live here, which makes that an easy question for me. My mom, though, was here until she was seven, moved to California, then came back here to get married. How should she answer the question? My DH was born in Denver and then spent 2-3 years there, then Milwaukee, then Albany, then New Jersey because his dad couldn’t hold a job. How should he answer the question?

DP But he could say he grew up all over, and she could she grew up in DC and California. Isn't that obvious?