What can I say to DD about getting chubby?

[Anonymous]

Here's my experience:

I told DD she is getting a little chubby, and that we all need to eat healthier and exercise more - that it's a family effort.

And since my husband is the one who pushes larger portions on her (he has this weird reflex where he wants his kids to eat as much as possible because he went hungry several times during his childhood), I have privately told him to stop asking her if she wants seconds, and to serve her a reasonable first portion instead of a giant one. It's partly his fault that she's eating too much, and doesn't consume enough veggies. When he cooks, he usually forgets to serve vegetables.

Best of luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Work on being active every day, multiple times. My daughter was a bit chubby going into the pandemic. We instituted cardio 3 times a day- a mile walk right before school to clear our heads befriend class, 1.5-2.5 mike walk at lunch and another couple miles in the evening. Some days we run instead of one of the walks. We also started eating healthier- more home cooked meals, lots of veggies and fruits. She helps me plan meals and cook. She has seen major improvement in her BMI and I have lost 15 lbs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is fat because you were fat.

I was a stick skinny kid and so are my kids. I’m constantly trying to fatten up my boys. I want them to grow.

That’s as bad as trying to skinny up the girl. Assuming they get a physical every year and the doctor is not concerned then you shouldn’t try to change them.

I saw my father’s registration card to register for the military at age 18. He was 5’10” and weighed 128 lbs. Just plain scrawny. He filled out to a normal weight in his mid 20s.

One growth spurt with no weight gained will make a big difference for the OPs daughter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is fat because you were fat.

I was a stick skinny kid and so are my kids. I’m constantly trying to fatten up my boys. I want them to grow.

That’s as bad as trying to skinny up the girl. Assuming they get a physical every year and the doctor is not concerned then you shouldn’t try to change them.

I saw my father’s registration card to register for the military at age 18. He was 5’10” and weighed 128 lbs. Just plain scrawny. He filled out to a normal weight in his mid 20s.

One growth spurt with no weight gained will make a big difference for the OPs daughter

IMO doctors are not going to tell her kid they are overweight. Perhaps if they are morbidly obese, they might put in for a dietitian consult. But otherwise, they aren’t going to touch of the topic of being overweight with a 10 ft pool.

[Anonymous]

You need to get your kid in some kind of dance or sports where she is moving regularly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is gross because it’s full of blatant sizeism.

Agree, but it's also from 2020 and was revived for some reason.

The child in question is now 13 or 14 years old. I hope she feels good about herself but based on OP's comments, she's probably self-conscious and feels a ton of pressure to conform to her mom's expectations.

[Anonymous]

My daughters are young adults, but I remember how they both went through this phase in upper elementary before a growth spurt. As did their friends. I said not one word because a mother must use her words very carefully with daughters regarding appearance. They grew some, and it all evened out. Then it happened again in middle school. Today, they are both within their BMI. I try never to comment appearance negatively, only positively. I really like that hair color on you, etc. Although in the teenage years, positive comments from mom can be the kiss of death, lol. Oh no, my mom likes this style so it must be lame. There were whole years where I said not one word about appearance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is gross because it’s full of blatant sizeism.

Agree, but it's also from 2020 and was revived for some reason.

The child in question is now 13 or 14 years old. I hope she feels good about herself but based on OP's comments, she's probably self-conscious and feels a ton of pressure to conform to her mom's expectations.

Yes, people are no longer like this in 2026.

[Anonymous]

Kids fatten up before they have growth spurts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is fat because you were fat.

I was a stick skinny kid and so are my kids. I’m constantly trying to fatten up my boys. I want them to grow.

That’s as bad as trying to skinny up the girl. Assuming they get a physical every year and the doctor is not concerned then you shouldn’t try to change them.

I saw my father’s registration card to register for the military at age 18. He was 5’10” and weighed 128 lbs. Just plain scrawny. He filled out to a normal weight in his mid 20s.

One growth spurt with no weight gained will make a big difference for the OPs daughter

NOTHING is worse than you bumping a 6 year old thread.

[Anonymous]

First, if you were overweight in school then I think you need to accept that she is genetically very likely to be the same. Instead of fearing it, plan for it! Your experience was bad; hers does not have to be.

Read Intuitive Eating and learn what promotes healthy food intake and what ruins it.

There are lots of good, current books about this topic and you should avoid this forum like the plague - lots of people from a generation that did very badly with this stuff.

Please make sure your daughter does not feel your anxiety about HER body. Don’t put that on her.