Feel like I screwed up Halloween for my kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here and I didn't think ToT was happening. No one on our street was handing out candy, though I see now that things were happening on other streets in our neighborhood. Also, we had a fun plan in store for the kids -- a backyard party with a scavenger hunt, halloween-themed pinata, games... and while we still did that, each of our kids was allowed to invite 1 classmate. The classmates did not come because my 4YO came down with a cold.

Once I realized ToT was happening, we may have done that, but my 4YO had a cold...

My 6YO was fine with the party idea and was fine not ToT, up until when we realized their friends couldn't come.

So you didn't really screw up Halloween. You just didn't teach your kids to "enjoy the wow that's happening now," as Daniel Tiger would say. It's something kids need to learn, so this is a good opportunity for that.

Here's a Daniel Tiger lesson on how to still have fun when your friends don't want to play with you -- that wasn't quite the case here, but if your kids can't understand that kids can't come over because one is sick, then this lesson may still be relevant: http://www.neighborhoodarchive.com/dtn/songs/friend_doesnt_play.html

[Anonymous]

OP, we didn't go either. My kids (2 and 3.5) didn't want to wear their costumes at all (thankfully I left the tags on). We went on a neighborhood walk to see people's decorations while it was still light out, and then we came home, lit a fire, and watched a movie together. The kids got Oreos with orange filling as a treat. I think it was a good day.

[Anonymous]

Our neighborhood is usually on the sleepy side in terms of ToT on normal years (as in, people are ready with candy if you come, but not a ton of treat or treaters out and about usually). This year it actually seemed more festive, like people were over compensating for the rest of the year being so lame. And lots of creativity, too! Bags clipped to mini clothes lines, individual bags tied to fence posts, candy chutes, table set ups, etc. Our kids had a blast, and I think the COVID forced novelty might have even added to the experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in Silver Spring Montgomery county and did not see any trick-or-treating.

I live in SS too. We didn't have any door knocking in our neighborhood, but lots of people set out treats on clothes lines or individual bags on tables. It actually made for a pretty great Halloween.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in Silver Spring Montgomery county and did not see any trick-or-treating.

I live in SS too. We didn't have any door knocking in our neighborhood, but lots of people set out treats on clothes lines or individual bags on tables. It actually made for a pretty great Halloween.

I live in SS as well, most of the people on our street provided no contact treats. We usually don't have that many kids, but about 1/2 the candy was gone when we brought it in after 10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and I didn't think ToT was happening. No one on our street was handing out candy, though I see now that things were happening on other streets in our neighborhood. Also, we had a fun plan in store for the kids -- a backyard party with a scavenger hunt, halloween-themed pinata, games... and while we still did that, each of our kids was allowed to invite 1 classmate. The classmates did not come because my 4YO came down with a cold.

Once I realized ToT was happening, we may have done that, but my 4YO had a cold...

My 6YO was fine with the party idea and was fine not ToT, up until when we realized their friends couldn't come.

I would not have let my kids ToT of any of us were sick either.

[Anonymous]

OP, millions of us didn't go this year. You are not alone. You did the right thing. Pat yourself on the back.

[Anonymous]

We didn't go either, although I had planned to take them just on our street (6 and 2.5 y/os). But as it got dark it looked like nobody was handing out candy--everyone's lights were off. And it was cold, and the younger one had missed his nap. So I bagged the plans. We called my younger sibling who just got over COVID (contracted by being careless) and I let them discuss why it's important to be very careful even when it's disappointing. We carved a pumpkin, watched Hocus Pocus, ate candy, made candy "flowers" and put them out for any ToTers we might get, and the older DC got to stay up and watch Ghostbusters.

I felt bad because I love Halloween and it was disappointing, but I think it was still OK and they've moved on anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The past 7+ months I've heard the phrase "our kids have already lost so much" countless times. And, my friends, I'm over it. It's a bit pathetic, in my opinion, that as adults we are perpetuating the victim mentality for our kids instead of teaching them the art of grit and pivoting in unexpected or challenging times. Using a current issue as an example, are kids really going to "suffer" if they don't trick or treat? No. Only if WE (the adults) model a "loss" mindset. What if, instead, families looked at it as a way to plan a really fun evening? Maybe doing a family art project, bobbing for apples in mixing bowls, packaging up sweet treats to door drop for neighbors, creating a spooky themed meal together. I assure you, if WE (the adults) started finding the OPPORTUNITY instead of inflating the perceived losses, we may actually find that we have opportunities to create lasting memories for our children. They'll remember that year they had a SPECIAL Halloween instead of trick or treating like every other year. Shift your OWN perspective so we can look back at this time and remember how much our kids (and ourselves) LEARNED during the pandemic, not lost.

My aunt posted this recently, and I mostly agree. People acting devastated that their kids can't do what they do in normal years is overly dramatic - if you have a good attitude, the kids won't think it's a big deal. Shield them from seeing social media postings of kids going out trick or treating, and do fun things at home. We had a "candy hunt" yesterday - Dh and I hid 40 pieces of candy around the house and let our 4 kids go nuts finding them. That was right before lunch. Then they could eat candy after lunch while we roasted pumpkin seeds. No, it wasn't as exciting as going out to different houses and seeing everyones costumes, but everything is a bit different this year. And that's okay - we're staying safe and keeping others safe by staying home.

I love it. You aunt is wonderful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, millions of us didn't go this year. You are not alone. You did the right thing. Pat yourself on the back.

Why does this have to be a competition? For those who felt safe doing TOT (and did it safely with masks, social distancing etc), that was the right answer. For those who didn't feel comfortable doing TOT and planned other activities, that was the right answer.

[Anonymous]

So OP didn’t screw anything up and had no intention of going out regardless of costumes because a kid was sick. What was the point of this post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, millions of us didn't go this year. You are not alone. You did the right thing. Pat yourself on the back.

Ugh. You get no pats on the back for your choice. Can I get a pat on the back for creatively and safely engaging in a fun activity with my family without causing any extra risk of infection? Because I was able to do that while still trick or treating, with masks and no approaching doors. Your attitude is obnoxious. It's becoming apparent that fighting COVID is more about being pious and better than thou than actual science in this area. We are better than this - come on people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So OP didn’t screw anything up and had no intention of going out regardless of costumes because a kid was sick. What was the point of this post?

I think she feels like she blew it because she didn’t get Facebook likes for the picture of her kids in costume?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm rarely negatively affected by Facebook, but damn, it feels like we are the only ones who didn't go trick-or-treating. They were upset, too, even though we tied to make a fun at-home party. Our city asked people not to trick-or-treat so we followed that request. Just feeling like I let my kids down.

Blah.

Good lord! It is one day out of their lives. YOU DID NOT DAMAGE THEM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The past 7+ months I've heard the phrase "our kids have already lost so much" countless times. And, my friends, I'm over it. It's a bit pathetic, in my opinion, that as adults we are perpetuating the victim mentality for our kids instead of teaching them the art of grit and pivoting in unexpected or challenging times. Using a current issue as an example, are kids really going to "suffer" if they don't trick or treat? No. Only if WE (the adults) model a "loss" mindset. What if, instead, families looked at it as a way to plan a really fun evening? Maybe doing a family art project, bobbing for apples in mixing bowls, packaging up sweet treats to door drop for neighbors, creating a spooky themed meal together. I assure you, if WE (the adults) started finding the OPPORTUNITY instead of inflating the perceived losses, we may actually find that we have opportunities to create lasting memories for our children. They'll remember that year they had a SPECIAL Halloween instead of trick or treating like every other year. Shift your OWN perspective so we can look back at this time and remember how much our kids (and ourselves) LEARNED during the pandemic, not lost.

My aunt posted this recently, and I mostly agree. People acting devastated that their kids can't do what they do in normal years is overly dramatic - if you have a good attitude, the kids won't think it's a big deal. Shield them from seeing social media postings of kids going out trick or treating, and do fun things at home. We had a "candy hunt" yesterday - Dh and I hid 40 pieces of candy around the house and let our 4 kids go nuts finding them. That was right before lunch. Then they could eat candy after lunch while we roasted pumpkin seeds. No, it wasn't as exciting as going out to different houses and seeing everyones costumes, but everything is a bit different this year. And that's okay - we're staying safe and keeping others safe by staying home.

I love it. You aunt is wonderful.

+1