Feel like I screwed up Halloween for my kids

[Anonymous]

I still don't get why people skipped Halloween. This was the most creative Halloween ever, with awesome socially distanced candy distribution. Everyone masked, outdoors no one ringing bells, no one getting close to non family groups. Way less risky than letting your kid run around at the park.
But you made a decision so stop checking Facebook. Give your kids as much candy as they would've gotten trick or treating. What's done is done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This pandemic seems to be have brought serious FOMO (fear of missing out) in certain families how used to follow along what others where doing without asking themselves any questions.

We're used to doing things our own way, so we were very comfortable having a non-traditional Halloween and watching Jurassic World and eating raclette instead. No decor, no costumes, no trick or treating.

Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses. Do whatever the heck you want to do as long as it's safe for others around you. This will make you happier in the long run, pandemic or no pandemic.

Perhaps the most DCUM response to this entire thread. I had to Google "raclette."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had one person knock at our door even though the porch light wasn’t on. We had candy so I masked up and gave the little kid some candy, but my son was mad. “How come she gets to go out.” I just told him that other families made different choices, and even though I did not think it was smart, I wasn’t going to not give a small child some candy. They will all get over it.

I can understand your kids being mad at you for this.

Me too! If I was a kid I’d be outraged, lol!

New poster here and I wouldn't have been outraged. Because from the time I was little my parents taught me that fair does NOT mean equal. And, that life isn't always fair. I had really strict parents in some ways - I wasn't allowed to watch cartoons or MTV, but could watch an R-rated movie, and read any book and listen to any music I wanted. I couldn't eat Twinkies or Twizzlers but I could use the sharpest knife in the house. Different homes have different rules. Even a 3 year old can understand that concept. "At Yuki's house, I have to take off my shoes before I go inside." This is not a difficult concept.

That's not what your parents taught you nor what pp is teaching her child, but that's a different discussion. PP didn't take her child TOT because she did not feel it was safe, but she opened her door and gave candy to a strange child thus blowing her safety concerns out of the water.

# year olds can also understand the concept of BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So OP didn’t screw anything up and had no intention of going out regardless of costumes because a kid was sick. What was the point of this post?

+1. We also skipped Halloween one year when one kid developed fever the evening of Halloween. I am just amazed that OP is amazed that the other families preferred to skip her party when they found out her kid got a cold. I would also skip going over to a house where someone just got a cold even precovid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP didn’t screw anything up and had no intention of going out regardless of costumes because a kid was sick. What was the point of this post?

+1. We also skipped Halloween one year when one kid developed fever the evening of Halloween. I am just amazed that OP is amazed that the other families preferred to skip her party when they found out her kid got a cold. I would also skip going over to a house where someone just got a cold even precovid.

Her story changed throughout this post. First she feels like she let the kids down because she was following local orders then suddenly a kid was sick and her plans fell through. Why no mention of the sick kid from jump? In a good year that sidelines a kid. This all sounds like a bunch of BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still don't get why people skipped Halloween. This was the most creative Halloween ever, with awesome socially distanced candy distribution. Everyone masked, outdoors no one ringing bells, no one getting close to non family groups. Way less risky than letting your kid run around at the park.
But you made a decision so stop checking Facebook. Give your kids as much candy as they would've gotten trick or treating. What's done is done.

I agree and I’m glad others thought it was the best Halloween ever! So festive. I plan on making a lot of these changes permanent like the bonfires and everyone outside.

[Anonymous]

We're all doing the best we can - let's give ourselves and each other more grace. These are strange times, we don't have mental frameworks and guidelines for every possible scenario that comes up during a pandemic, and everyone has different health and personal circumstances that are factored into every decision. A small example is a lot of posters describing driveways, which we don't have in my neighborhood. Also, we are often confronted with situations we never thought of before, like the little kid ringing the doorbell, and we may end up doing something we might not have done if we had more time to think it through.

We did trick-or-treating at our own house and the kids said it was the best Halloween ever. My kids feel safer at home than in public, and they would have been stressed out being around other people and worrying about if they were 6 feet away, wearing masks, etc., so that would have sucked the fun out of trick-or-treating.

I agree that the kids have lost a lot, and we have to do the best we can to model resilience and creativity and gratitude for what we have. Just as pre-covid, we're going to win some and lose some. If Halloween wasn't awesome, we can think up a way to make another regular old day special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The past 7+ months I've heard the phrase "our kids have already lost so much" countless times. And, my friends, I'm over it. It's a bit pathetic, in my opinion, that as adults we are perpetuating the victim mentality for our kids instead of teaching them the art of grit and pivoting in unexpected or challenging times. Using a current issue as an example, are kids really going to "suffer" if they don't trick or treat? No. Only if WE (the adults) model a "loss" mindset. What if, instead, families looked at it as a way to plan a really fun evening? Maybe doing a family art project, bobbing for apples in mixing bowls, packaging up sweet treats to door drop for neighbors, creating a spooky themed meal together. I assure you, if WE (the adults) started finding the OPPORTUNITY instead of inflating the perceived losses, we may actually find that we have opportunities to create lasting memories for our children. They'll remember that year they had a SPECIAL Halloween instead of trick or treating like every other year. Shift your OWN perspective so we can look back at this time and remember how much our kids (and ourselves) LEARNED during the pandemic, not lost.

My aunt posted this recently, and I mostly agree. People acting devastated that their kids can't do what they do in normal years is overly dramatic - if you have a good attitude, the kids won't think it's a big deal. Shield them from seeing social media postings of kids going out trick or treating, and do fun things at home. We had a "candy hunt" yesterday - Dh and I hid 40 pieces of candy around the house and let our 4 kids go nuts finding them. That was right before lunch. Then they could eat candy after lunch while we roasted pumpkin seeds. No, it wasn't as exciting as going out to different houses and seeing everyones costumes, but everything is a bit different this year. And that's okay - we're staying safe and keeping others safe by staying home.

I love it. You aunt is wonderful.

+1

I kind of hate the italicized post. Now we as parents shouldn't allow our children to feel or express sadness, disappointment, loss, frustration, etc., lest we be perpetuating victimhood? All our kids need to make those feelings go away are cutesy art project and themed meals? Cool, cool, got it. Sounds very healthy.

Right that’s the whole movie of inside out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The past 7+ months I've heard the phrase "our kids have already lost so much" countless times. And, my friends, I'm over it. It's a bit pathetic, in my opinion, that as adults we are perpetuating the victim mentality for our kids instead of teaching them the art of grit and pivoting in unexpected or challenging times. Using a current issue as an example, are kids really going to "suffer" if they don't trick or treat? No. Only if WE (the adults) model a "loss" mindset. What if, instead, families looked at it as a way to plan a really fun evening? Maybe doing a family art project, bobbing for apples in mixing bowls, packaging up sweet treats to door drop for neighbors, creating a spooky themed meal together. I assure you, if WE (the adults) started finding the OPPORTUNITY instead of inflating the perceived losses, we may actually find that we have opportunities to create lasting memories for our children. They'll remember that year they had a SPECIAL Halloween instead of trick or treating like every other year. Shift your OWN perspective so we can look back at this time and remember how much our kids (and ourselves) LEARNED during the pandemic, not lost.

My aunt posted this recently, and I mostly agree. People acting devastated that their kids can't do what they do in normal years is overly dramatic - if you have a good attitude, the kids won't think it's a big deal. Shield them from seeing social media postings of kids going out trick or treating, and do fun things at home. We had a "candy hunt" yesterday - Dh and I hid 40 pieces of candy around the house and let our 4 kids go nuts finding them. That was right before lunch. Then they could eat candy after lunch while we roasted pumpkin seeds. No, it wasn't as exciting as going out to different houses and seeing everyones costumes, but everything is a bit different this year. And that's okay - we're staying safe and keeping others safe by staying home.

I love it. You aunt is wonderful.

+1

I kind of hate the italicized post. Now we as parents shouldn't allow our children to feel or express sadness, disappointment, loss, frustration, etc., lest we be perpetuating victimhood? All our kids need to make those feelings go away are cutesy art project and themed meals? Cool, cool, got it. Sounds very healthy.

Right that’s the whole movie of inside out.

Seriously look up toxic positivity.....

I’m tired of nine million words on how I’m doing the pandemic wrong, from multiple angles. I cut my internet time in half today. Now that was a good call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm rarely negatively affected by Facebook, but damn, it feels like we are the only ones who didn't go trick-or-treating. They were upset, too, even though we tied to make a fun at-home party. Our city asked people not to trick-or-treat so we followed that request. Just feeling like I let my kids down.

Blah.

I’m sorry, but that’s on you. What on earth made you think trick or treating was unsafe? It’s an outdoor activity for goodness sake! And you can easily social distance and wear masks! I seriously do not get the mindset of people who said it was unsafe. Bars, gyms, and indoor dining all open. But no, you can’t go trick or treating?!

People, start making your own reasonable decisions instead of following Fauci’s edicts blindly.

You are too sane to be here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still don't get why people skipped Halloween. This was the most creative Halloween ever, with awesome socially distanced candy distribution. Everyone masked, outdoors no one ringing bells, no one getting close to non family groups. Way less risky than letting your kid run around at the park.
But you made a decision so stop checking Facebook. Give your kids as much candy as they would've gotten trick or treating. What's done is done.

+1. This Halloween was awesome and so safe. Trick or treating is easily adaptable to social distancing!