When did people start calling their boyfriend/girlfriend their partner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Partner to me implies a serious relationship. When I hear "partner", I think mortgage together, kids together -- longtime co-mingling of assets of all kinds. And I've been hearing this for decades. I also lived in NYC, and it was very common to hear the term used in the gay communities. Personally, I stopped saying "boyfriend" when I stopped going out with boys. Most of the actual adults that I know say "friend" -- and we all know what that means.

That's what I used to think too. But while some people use it to refer to someone they've been married to or living with for decades, others use it to refer to someone they started dating last month and whom they hopefully don't live with. Apparently there is a whole range of relationships it can represent, which doesn't make it the most useful term if you want to convey your relationship status as established and committed.

Actually, the flexibility of the term is one of the things I like about it. I can think of very few people or situations where someone else needs to know exactly how “established and committed” my partner and I happen to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the 1970s, for long term couples who weren't getting married anytime soon. It sounds weird when you are 35 to say you have a "boyfriend."

In the 1970s we used the term "lover".

[Anonymous]

I first noticed it on the 1990s. It can be weird. But you can roll with it op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you're north of 30, talking about your "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" just sounds immature.

30? Oh, STFU.

[Anonymous]

My friends in the UK say "partner" not husband or wife.

[Anonymous]

I'm 59 and never-married. I say boyfriend for any guy I have been dating less than 3 years. Over 3 years he is my significant other. I had one relationship that was 12 years and he was my partner once we reached 5 yrs together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the 1970s, for long term couples who weren't getting married anytime soon. It sounds weird when you are 35 to say you have a "boyfriend."

In the 1970s we used the term "lover".

I have a friend from Nigeria who uses that. But also will use girlfriend, so I am not sure if they are interchangable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It annoys me too. I’m not irrationally irritated when gay people or older people or unmarried people use it. But when 30 or 40 something heterosexual married couples use it, it annoys me, like they are trying to be PC or something. It’s not shameful to have a husband or wife, and it doesn’t make you woke to call that person your partner instead of husband/wife.

Spouse irritates me too, but not nearly as much.

+1

Agreed. I dated a guy who sometimes would refer to his ex-wife as his ex-partner. I thought that was so weird. It's like, dude, I know you were married, I know it was a woman, I know her name, etc. He was weird in many other ways, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I despise boyfriend and girlfriend.

I just say friend.

This covers a lot of area: f*ck buddy, FWB, boyfriend, situationship cohort....

[Anonymous]

I just think it means permanent relationship but not married.

[Anonymous]

My aunt is 75 with an 80 year old partner of over 15 years. I think she would feel a bit silly referring to an 80 year old man as her boyfriend. They already raised families, were widowed, and never plan to marry.

[Anonymous]

A whole multiple page thread about what we call the person we're bumping uglies with.

There's a message in there somewhere...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know lots of people who live together who refer to each other as partner, no matter what their age. Once you start living together, "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" sound like you still think you are a teenager.

I appreciate the term “partner” and its vagueness, but it did take me some time to realize that 20/30 somethings will often use it to mean a relationship without any lifelong commitment. I lived with a series of boyfriends in my 20s/30s, and would never have called them “partners”. Then (in the 90s) “partner” implied a marriage-like (aspirationally lifelong) commitment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you're north of 30, talking about your "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" just sounds immature.

Bingo

[Anonymous]

My consort