When did people start calling their boyfriend/girlfriend their partner?

[Anonymous]

My brother has been with his partner for 10+ years. They started off boyfriend/girlfriend, but now they are both pushing 50, have been living together and raising a child together for years, with no interest in getting married. “Boyfriend” and “girlfriend” are terms that don’t suit their situation.

[Anonymous]

I think "boyfriend" sounds silly.

[Anonymous]

It annoys me too. I’m not irrationally irritated when gay people or older people or unmarried people use it. But when 30 or 40 something heterosexual married couples use it, it annoys me, like they are trying to be PC or something. It’s not shameful to have a husband or wife, and it doesn’t make you woke to call that person your partner instead of husband/wife.

Spouse irritates me too, but not nearly as much.

[Anonymous]

I try to use SO/ partner when talking about people I don’t know very well (eg like a message to a work grip: “hey all- happy hour at my house Friday. SOs included.” It feels much more inclusive. I agree that if you are all grown up, bf/gf sound pretty immature. I’m married so use spouse or husband, but if I weren’t, I would use partner, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you're north of 30, talking about your "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" just sounds immature.

My mom is a widow and has a “partner” or even just “friend”. At 77, “boyfriend” sounds ridiculous. I think the same at 50. They certainly are far from “boys”

[Anonymous]

When it because serious but they didn't wish to marry.

[Anonymous]

He is more than my boyfriend. I don’t know if we’ll ever marry though. Deeply committed, but I’ve never been into the idea of marriage.

It is fun watching people try to sort it when I have a more masculine haircut. I don’t clarify. Lol.

[Anonymous]

boyfriend is someone you see casually, as in a dating phase. Partner is more committed but less than that of marriage. You are their partner in life, so you may share finances, children, a business, a household, etc. Seriously, its not that hard to figure out.

[Anonymous]

I agree this term is more common in other countries. I don’t really care, but partner is vague and sounds like the person is trying to be PC/taking labels very seriously. But spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend is pretty clear.
Partner might mean you work at a law firm together, or you’re working on a school project together, or you live together but aren’t married. Why not be more precise?
Also, most of the people I’ve heard use “partner” were against marriage (some just for themselves, some for anyone).

[Anonymous]

You need to travel more. It's super common in most of the world and just more grown-up. I think it has a really positive connotation-- an egalitarian, committed relationship. But it's your relationship, describe it however you want and let others do the same...

[Anonymous]

I’m 45 and divorced- I would feel stupid calling a middle aged man my “boyfriend” so I’d say partner.

[Anonymous]

I've been hearing it more and more in the past few years from really young couples--like the under 25 set. And also people who have been together a short while. In many case, it's a desire to push the relationship into more serious territory. You hear women do this a LOT more than men.

I'm a lawyer and I never know if someone is referring to their law partner or a romantic partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the connotation is that it is a more serious relationship than boyfriend/girlfriend.

And you might feel weird about being 50 and calling someone your boyfriend.

Both of these. The only person I know who refers to his opposite sex SO as "partner" is a man in his late 50's in a live-in relationship who has an official registered domestic partnership with his SO.

[Anonymous]

Very commonly used in the UK now irrespective of if you are legally married or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is more than my boyfriend. I don’t know if we’ll ever marry though. Deeply committed, but I’ve never been into the idea of marriage.

It is fun watching people try to sort it when I have a more masculine haircut. I don’t clarify. Lol.

I’ve known a bunch of couples who were “deeply committed” but “not into the idea of marriage” or whatever and except for the ones who were senior citizens, the actual situation is always “one or both of us aren’t in love enough to get married but things aren’t actively bad enough to deal with the hassle of a breakup”. So when someone refers to their “partner” that’s what immediately comes to mind for me.