When did people start calling their boyfriend/girlfriend their partner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll start with - I call people what they want to be called, and I have friends who call their significant others "partner" so I do that. I wouldn't give my opinion about it unless asked, as it's non of my business.

I also think this came into vogue when gay marriage was illegal, and at that time, I totally supported it. If it's 1994 and you're gay and in a life partnership, go by partner. Great. Honestly, back in '94, in most areas of the country, a man referring to his husband would have probably been legit confusing for people.

But - since this is an anonymous forum - I can say, now a days, I really dislike it. It honestly feels to me like you're trying to get "credit" for making a commitment that you haven't made. Basically, you want to be treated as if you're married, even though you're not. If you're committed for life, get married. This can take whatever form you want. Have a big wedding. Don't have a big wedding. Get legally married. Don't get legally married, if you don't want the government up in your business. But, in some way, somehow, look each other in the eye and say "I'm committed to you for life" and then start introducing each other as wife/husband/spouse/whatever.

All the cases I personally know - they're not people who are categorically opposed to marriage. They're just not married... yet. Congrats, then you have a boyfriend/girlfriend. I don't care if you're 95 years old.

Stop the presses, everybody. It turns out all you have to do is look someone in the eye and say “I’m committed”, and then you get to call yourself married. Otherwise, you have to say boyfriend/girlfriend until you die because PP *really dislikes* the word partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll start with - I call people what they want to be called, and I have friends who call their significant others "partner" so I do that. I wouldn't give my opinion about it unless asked, as it's non of my business.

I also think this came into vogue when gay marriage was illegal, and at that time, I totally supported it. If it's 1994 and you're gay and in a life partnership, go by partner. Great. Honestly, back in '94, in most areas of the country, a man referring to his husband would have probably been legit confusing for people.

But - since this is an anonymous forum - I can say, now a days, I really dislike it. It honestly feels to me like you're trying to get "credit" for making a commitment that you haven't made. Basically, you want to be treated as if you're married, even though you're not. If you're committed for life, get married. This can take whatever form you want. Have a big wedding. Don't have a big wedding. Get legally married. Don't get legally married, if you don't want the government up in your business. But, in some way, somehow, look each other in the eye and say "I'm committed to you for life" and then start introducing each other as wife/husband/spouse/whatever.

All the cases I personally know - they're not people who are categorically opposed to marriage. They're just not married... yet. Congrats, then you have a boyfriend/girlfriend. I don't care if you're 95 years old.

We’ve been partners for decades. Our relationship has lasted longer than many of our peers marriages. We don’t need your approval. The only credibility I need is knowing he’s happy, that’s not mine to earn though I dearly enjoy it.

You sound like a twit. Even if this opinion remains solely within your inner dialogue you clearly don’t see others as sentient capable individuals. You’re missing the rich diversity of others when you narrow allowable self definition from your perch.

[Anonymous]

I say partner because I'm too old to say boyfriend. It sounds silly to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It annoys me too. I’m not irrationally irritated when gay people or older people or unmarried people use it. But when 30 or 40 something heterosexual married couples use it, it annoys me, like they are trying to be PC or something. It’s not shameful to have a husband or wife, and it doesn’t make you woke to call that person your partner instead of husband/wife.

Spouse irritates me too, but not nearly as much.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll start with - I call people what they want to be called, and I have friends who call their significant others "partner" so I do that. I wouldn't give my opinion about it unless asked, as it's non of my business.

I also think this came into vogue when gay marriage was illegal, and at that time, I totally supported it. If it's 1994 and you're gay and in a life partnership, go by partner. Great. Honestly, back in '94, in most areas of the country, a man referring to his husband would have probably been legit confusing for people.

But - since this is an anonymous forum - I can say, now a days, I really dislike it. It honestly feels to me like you're trying to get "credit" for making a commitment that you haven't made. Basically, you want to be treated as if you're married, even though you're not. If you're committed for life, get married. This can take whatever form you want. Have a big wedding. Don't have a big wedding. Get legally married. Don't get legally married, if you don't want the government up in your business. But, in some way, somehow, look each other in the eye and say "I'm committed to you for life" and then start introducing each other as wife/husband/spouse/whatever.

All the cases I personally know - they're not people who are categorically opposed to marriage. They're just not married... yet. Congrats, then you have a boyfriend/girlfriend. I don't care if you're 95 years old.

Truth. They're pretentious and not at all original.

[Anonymous]

I generally say boyfriend but that can get weird. I'm in my 30s and when I say boyfriend people sometimes get excited about it like, "ooh, a boyfriend! Is it new? What's he like?!" A lot of married people seem to want to hear some kind of sex in the city fun times dating talk. Hear what it's like on the dating scene.

We cohabitate and have been together for 12 years. We've watched countless friends meet, marry and divorce in the time we've been together. My boyfriend will also be 50 in under 5 years.

It depends on the audience, but sometimes I will say partner because I have been corrected using boyfriend since people don't really think that accurately captures our situation and they think boyfriend is misleading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I generally say boyfriend but that can get weird. I'm in my 30s and when I say boyfriend people sometimes get excited about it like, "ooh, a boyfriend! Is it new? What's he like?!" A lot of married people seem to want to hear some kind of sex in the city fun times dating talk. Hear what it's like on the dating scene.

We cohabitate and have been together for 12 years. We've watched countless friends meet, marry and divorce in the time we've been together. My boyfriend will also be 50 in under 5 years.

It depends on the audience, but sometimes I will say partner because I have been corrected using boyfriend since people don't really think that accurately captures our situation and they think boyfriend is misleading.

If you’re common law married, he’s your partner. You can always throw his name into the conversation if you want to make sure people know you’re not gay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is more than my boyfriend. I don’t know if we’ll ever marry though. Deeply committed, but I’ve never been into the idea of marriage.

It is fun watching people try to sort it when I have a more masculine haircut. I don’t clarify. Lol.

I’ve known a bunch of couples who were “deeply committed” but “not into the idea of marriage” or whatever and except for the ones who were senior citizens, the actual situation is always “one or both of us aren’t in love enough to get married but things aren’t actively bad enough to deal with the hassle of a breakup”. So when someone refers to their “partner” that’s what immediately comes to mind for me.

Cynical. But then again I expect (and am often accurate in predicting) a divorce of anyone that has a big wedding or marries in 20s.

Out of my friends, the marriages in mid-late 20s are going strong (18-22 year marriages) and several of the ones in 30s imploded. That was a case of having been single so long they were too set in their ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I generally say boyfriend but that can get weird. I'm in my 30s and when I say boyfriend people sometimes get excited about it like, "ooh, a boyfriend! Is it new? What's he like?!" A lot of married people seem to want to hear some kind of sex in the city fun times dating talk. Hear what it's like on the dating scene.

We cohabitate and have been together for 12 years. We've watched countless friends meet, marry and divorce in the time we've been together. My boyfriend will also be 50 in under 5 years.

It depends on the audience, but sometimes I will say partner because I have been corrected using boyfriend since people don't really think that accurately captures our situation and they think boyfriend is misleading.

If you’re common law married, he’s your partner. You can always throw his name into the conversation if you want to make sure people know you’re not gay.

I don’t really care what people think. VA does not acknowledge common law marriage. He’s my partner.

[Anonymous]

This is so interesting. All of my heterosexual friends in Seattle use the term partner to refer to their legal husband or wife. They don’t like the traditional connotations of husband or wife so they use partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the 1970s, for long term couples who weren't getting married anytime soon. It sounds weird when you are 35 to say you have a "boyfriend."

I prefer if too especially if over35

[Anonymous]

Half the time I think they are talking about a business partner and then like five minutes later when I realize they are referring to the man they have been dating for 7 years who won’t propose, I’m like oh yeah your life partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Half the time I think they are talking about a business partner and then like five minutes later when I realize they are referring to the man they have been dating for 7 years who won’t propose, I’m like oh yeah your life partner.

You sound like a rube.

[Anonymous]

I despise boyfriend and girlfriend.

I just say friend.

[Anonymous]

It comes from square dancing. Spin your partner round and round...