If your son is shorter than average, how did you help him build confidence?

[Anonymous]

Gymnastics, martial arts, Tennis (doubles) and handball/racketball are great sports for building confidence in shorter guys, I’ve noticed. I would focus on making sure he has enough athleticism and strength to not become an easy target for bullies.

[Anonymous]

My brother is 5'5" and we're Asian so he's always had to deal with emasculating stereotypes on top of being short. He did have a hard go of it in HS, but grew up to be athletic, handsome, married to a good person with a nice family, and has had good, successful career. I think being good looking and athletic helps. He is steady and calm and doesn't let much ruffle him and people (figuratively) look up to him because he has great judgement. He has been chosen to be on two(!) capital murder juries because he just exudes calm, self confident leadership and non-judgement. Being short doesn't have to be so bad and as a mom myself, I get the worry, but it's not the end of the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of the posts about miraculous growth spurts!

If your kid has been on a growth curve his whole life, it is unlikely to change. I'm 5'4. My husband is 6'0. I had kind of figured my son would be average--maybe 5'10. There is formula that shows height based on the mother and father.

But nope. My son was ALWAYS been between 25-35% on the height growth chart. It really hasn't changed since he was like 1 year old. He DID have a big growth spurt last year at 13-14 and grew like 4 inches and gained only 1 pound! So now he looks very lanky. I thought--wow-he's really grown! Maybe he has hit his stride and will end up taller? No. He was like 32% on the height chart. I think he's maybe 5'5 or 5'6 now. He is almost 15 and I assume will keep growing. I will be REALLY happy if he gets to 5'9.

The anxiety about boys and height is real. Studies show taller men tend to be more successful professionally (because of bias) and certainly some women reject shorter guys. But the reality is that there is not much you can do about height unless someone has a growth disorder. So, at a certain point you just have to accept it. One of the most successful men I knew is very short and fat and has been happily married for many years. I've also noticed that short guys who don't care about being short--who own it--seem to be just as well accepted as anyone. I'm sure it also doesn't hurt to be cute, funny and smart. Short, ugly and stupid is not a great combination.

OP, I feel your anxiety and your son's anxiety. Honestly, though, most of us aren't models and have our own insecurities.

Somewhat off topic but I’m 5’5” and my dentist is around my height maybe give or take an inch or so. But he is so handsome and charismatic. Everyone loves him and he has a beautiful wife. I would have totally dated him in my younger years! It is all about personality and how personally successful they are, not height.

My OB/GYN is around 5'6", and if I had the opportunity, I'd have dated him in a heartbeat. Same thing, handsome, charismatic. Beautiful wife as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many people would stop dating or refuse to date a kind, handsome, athletic, and {traits that belong in explicit forum} man because he is “too short?”!?

Well, I am one of the moms who wrote about having a shorter son, and I think that honestly, I gravitated toward tall and big boned men. But that was because I've always been chubby, and I didn't want to feel big with a guy. It wasn't about the men. It was about my own insecurities.

I do also think that honestly, there is a point where you have to be confident as a woman if you want to date a man who is a lot shorter than you. 5'8 is one thing. 5'3? 5'4? That truly is very short for a man.

5”4 for a grown adult male is pretty rare anyway so you don’t have to worry about that.

[Anonymous]

I don’t see 5’7” as short. Regardless, confidence is very attractive. Also, there are several legitimately short men in my family who are muscular and attractive and they’ve never had trouble finding dates, or success in their careers.

[Anonymous]

Are height ‘projections’ really reliable?

My dad was 6’2 and my mom 5’1”. I’m 5’1”. I never reached past my mom’s height.

My Asian neighbors are both around 5’7”. Their biological son is 6’0”. I see a lot of parents with kids taller than both of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are height ‘projections’ really reliable?

My dad was 6’2 and my mom 5’1”. I’m 5’1”. I never reached past my mom’s height.

My Asian neighbors are both around 5’7”. Their biological son is 6’0”. I see a lot of parents with kids taller than both of them.

I don’t think the projections where you average the parents’ height are that reliable. But I think growth curves are pretty reliable. If your kid is in the 25% percentile their entire childhood, I think it’s unlikely they will end up at the 75% percentile. Any pediatricians feel free to chime in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are height ‘projections’ really reliable?

My dad was 6’2 and my mom 5’1”. I’m 5’1”. I never reached past my mom’s height.

My Asian neighbors are both around 5’7”. Their biological son is 6’0”. I see a lot of parents with kids taller than both of them.

The wife is tall. I know two sets of mixed Asian couples where the non-Asian husband is 6'2" and the Asian wives are 5'11". Their kids are extremely tall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Krav Maga or any other activity that helps build confidence in general. Toastmasters. It doesn't have to be physical.

Do not do the Krav Maga for confidence building. He will get it in his head that he has moves that can take down the jolly green giant. When he goes to college and gets a couple drinks in him, he will thing he can take of King Kong. As someone who is 6'4" 250 lbs, shorter Krav Maga, MMA meat heads would always try to start stuff with me. I hate fighting, but there were a couple of times where I had to "defend" myself. It did not end well for these guys.

[Anonymous]

Ron Jeremy is vertically challenged and horizontally unimpaired.