If your son is shorter than average, how did you help him build confidence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jared Harper

5'10" Auburn basketball player

SEC scholarship

Quote from the article:

"People might underestimate me because of my size," Harper said. "I think I'm pretty strong, and I'm just able to lead my team and continue to play every day."

Clearly the dude worked harder.

https://auburntigers.com/news/2018/1/19/Playing_big_Jared_Harper_uses_small_stature_to_his_advantage.aspx

Np You can't compare a person who is 5'10" to a person who is 5'3"

The only thing I would advise is not telling your son that the reasons girls may reject him is mostly due to height. This isn't always true. There are plenty of successful actors who are very attractive and have women/men attracted to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 14-year old was 5’1-5’2”” most of last year. He is now 5’9” turns 15 next week. He still has a lot of growing- no facial hair. He was one of the shorter kids on his team last year and in school.

His younger brother is even shorter for his age.

My brother and I both grew in college. We are definitely late growers.

5’7” is not too short. He will be fine! The average American woman is now 5’3”-5’4”.

Thanks. My son turns 15 in three weeks and he is 5”4

My son is 15 and 3 months, and he is not even quite 5'4. But, he hasn't hit puberty yet. The only visible sign is his leg hairs are getting thicker. Delayed puberty runs in the family on both sides. His dad is tall, but I'm super short.

My son is 5'4" at 14. My husband is 6'4" but grew 8" in college. When we went to his high school reunion it's all anyone talked about all night long. I tell my son to not give up hope!

What? That’s pretty average

DP. 6”4 is certainly much taller than average! And so is growing 8” in college. But DCUN folks are truly terrible at statistics.

[Anonymous]

Focus on his education. Being smart and doing well in school will help him get into a good college and hopefully a successful career.


And guitar lessons. Everyone loves the person who can play a good guitar tune at a party or for a girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Focus on his education. Being smart and doing well in school will help him get into a good college and hopefully a successful career.


And guitar lessons. Everyone loves the person who can play a good guitar tune at a party or for a girl

And we all know there’s nothing DCUMers love more than a “top college!”

[Anonymous]

Anyone else’s short son only go for even shorter girls? The gals my son wants to date resemble trolls. It’s clear he lacks the confidence to pursue a gal taller than him, which really limits his options, if nothing else.

[Anonymous]

All of the posts about miraculous growth spurts!

If your kid has been on a growth curve his whole life, it is unlikely to change. I'm 5'4. My husband is 6'0. I had kind of figured my son would be average--maybe 5'10. There is formula that shows height based on the mother and father.

But nope. My son was ALWAYS been between 25-35% on the height growth chart. It really hasn't changed since he was like 1 year old. He DID have a big growth spurt last year at 13-14 and grew like 4 inches and gained only 1 pound! So now he looks very lanky. I thought--wow-he's really grown! Maybe he has hit his stride and will end up taller? No. He was like 32% on the height chart. I think he's maybe 5'5 or 5'6 now. He is almost 15 and I assume will keep growing. I will be REALLY happy if he gets to 5'9.

The anxiety about boys and height is real. Studies show taller men tend to be more successful professionally (because of bias) and certainly some women reject shorter guys. But the reality is that there is not much you can do about height unless someone has a growth disorder. So, at a certain point you just have to accept it. One of the most successful men I knew is very short and fat and has been happily married for many years. I've also noticed that short guys who don't care about being short--who own it--seem to be just as well accepted as anyone. I'm sure it also doesn't hurt to be cute, funny and smart. Short, ugly and stupid is not a great combination.

OP, I feel your anxiety and your son's anxiety. Honestly, though, most of us aren't models and have our own insecurities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else’s short son only go for even shorter girls? The gals my son wants to date resemble trolls. It’s clear he lacks the confidence to pursue a gal taller than him, which really limits his options, if nothing else.

You’re a troll. If not, this might be the meanest post I’ve ever read on this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of the posts about miraculous growth spurts!

If your kid has been on a growth curve his whole life, it is unlikely to change. I'm 5'4. My husband is 6'0. I had kind of figured my son would be average--maybe 5'10. There is formula that shows height based on the mother and father.

But nope. My son was ALWAYS been between 25-35% on the height growth chart. It really hasn't changed since he was like 1 year old. He DID have a big growth spurt last year at 13-14 and grew like 4 inches and gained only 1 pound! So now he looks very lanky. I thought--wow-he's really grown! Maybe he has hit his stride and will end up taller? No. He was like 32% on the height chart. I think he's maybe 5'5 or 5'6 now. He is almost 15 and I assume will keep growing. I will be REALLY happy if he gets to 5'9.

The anxiety about boys and height is real. Studies show taller men tend to be more successful professionally (because of bias) and certainly some women reject shorter guys. But the reality is that there is not much you can do about height unless someone has a growth disorder. So, at a certain point you just have to accept it. One of the most successful men I knew is very short and fat and has been happily married for many years. I've also noticed that short guys who don't care about being short--who own it--seem to be just as well accepted as anyone. I'm sure it also doesn't hurt to be cute, funny and smart. Short, ugly and stupid is not a great combination.

OP, I feel your anxiety and your son's anxiety. Honestly, though, most of us aren't models and have our own insecurities.

Really the weight part is the only thing you can control. The rest is superficial too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of the posts about miraculous growth spurts!

If your kid has been on a growth curve his whole life, it is unlikely to change. I'm 5'4. My husband is 6'0. I had kind of figured my son would be average--maybe 5'10. There is formula that shows height based on the mother and father.

But nope. My son was ALWAYS been between 25-35% on the height growth chart. It really hasn't changed since he was like 1 year old. He DID have a big growth spurt last year at 13-14 and grew like 4 inches and gained only 1 pound! So now he looks very lanky. I thought--wow-he's really grown! Maybe he has hit his stride and will end up taller? No. He was like 32% on the height chart. I think he's maybe 5'5 or 5'6 now. He is almost 15 and I assume will keep growing. I will be REALLY happy if he gets to 5'9.

The anxiety about boys and height is real. Studies show taller men tend to be more successful professionally (because of bias) and certainly some women reject shorter guys. But the reality is that there is not much you can do about height unless someone has a growth disorder. So, at a certain point you just have to accept it. One of the most successful men I knew is very short and fat and has been happily married for many years. I've also noticed that short guys who don't care about being short--who own it--seem to be just as well accepted as anyone. I'm sure it also doesn't hurt to be cute, funny and smart. Short, ugly and stupid is not a great combination.

OP, I feel your anxiety and your son's anxiety. Honestly, though, most of us aren't models and have our own insecurities.

Somewhat off topic but I’m 5’5” and my dentist is around my height maybe give or take an inch or so. But he is so handsome and charismatic. Everyone loves him and he has a beautiful wife. I would have totally dated him in my younger years! It is all about personality and how personally successful they are, not height.

[Anonymous]

My son is 16. Precocious puberty. He has grown as much as he can grow based on his bone age. 5'10". He was the tallest guy in middle school and I knew all his short friends will reach 6' in HS and college. He also got facial hair and acne and that is a huge thing. All of this is only outward appearance. He is a very intelligent and compassionate person.

[Anonymous]

How many people would stop dating or refuse to date a kind, handsome, athletic, and {traits that belong in explicit forum} man because he is “too short?”!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is 16. Precocious puberty. He has grown as much as he can grow based on his bone age. 5'10". He was the tallest guy in middle school and I knew all his short friends will reach 6' in HS and college. He also got facial hair and acne and that is a huge thing. All of this is only outward appearance. He is a very intelligent and compassionate person.

I’m pretty sure my kid won’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else’s short son only go for even shorter girls? The gals my son wants to date resemble trolls. It’s clear he lacks the confidence to pursue a gal taller than him, which really limits his options, if nothing else.

You’re a troll. If not, this might be the meanest post I’ve ever read on this forum.

He will seek out the shortest girl in the school. There's no 'type' it's just the shortest girl he can find. It's obviously fueled by insecurity of pursuing girls his height or taller.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 14-year old was 5’1-5’2”” most of last year. He is now 5’9” turns 15 next week. He still has a lot of growing- no facial hair. He was one of the shorter kids on his team last year and in school.

His younger brother is even shorter for his age.

My brother and I both grew in college. We are definitely late growers.

5’7” is not too short. He will be fine! The average American woman is now 5’3”-5’4”.

Thanks. My son turns 15 in three weeks and he is 5”4

My son is 15 and 3 months, and he is not even quite 5'4. But, he hasn't hit puberty yet. The only visible sign is his leg hairs are getting thicker. Delayed puberty runs in the family on both sides. His dad is tall, but I'm super short.

My son is 5'4" at 14. My husband is 6'4" but grew 8" in college. When we went to his high school reunion it's all anyone talked about all night long. I tell my son to not give up hope!

What? That’s pretty average

huh? He grew from 5'8" to 6'4" AFTER high school. I wouldn't say that is typical at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many people would stop dating or refuse to date a kind, handsome, athletic, and {traits that belong in explicit forum} man because he is “too short?”!?

Well, I am one of the moms who wrote about having a shorter son, and I think that honestly, I gravitated toward tall and big boned men. But that was because I've always been chubby, and I didn't want to feel big with a guy. It wasn't about the men. It was about my own insecurities.

I do also think that honestly, there is a point where you have to be confident as a woman if you want to date a man who is a lot shorter than you. 5'8 is one thing. 5'3? 5'4? That truly is very short for a man.