Husband take $800/month for his own expendables and leave the household with $200

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One question: is he happy that you earn 4K and he earns 6? Ie, has he ever made a comment about it, is it the results of your choices or not at all, common decision and all good on that front?

Reason I ask is that although I put way more in the family budget I also keep more. Woman here, the reason being that I chose a stressful and demanding job because I wanted financial security and my DH has always claimed he didn’t care about money and wanted to work a job that matched his values and gave him time (so he works for an NGO).

I respect that, but I get to keep more of my hard earned money for my personal expenses (once all the rest and obviously the kids’ needs are covered). No 50-50 of our left over budget

Man, if a guy said this, he'd get pilloried here. This sounds like a miserable household if this is what is being communicated.

[Anonymous]

How much is on the credit card that you are paying $200 a month to pay off? You are WAY overspending. The easiest thing on the budget to fix is the $500 on cable and cell phone. I pay $480 for my husband and my cell phone FOR THE YEAR with Mint Mobile. $50 a month on Internet. $30 for Sling for my live TV needs.

Do you have an emergency fund?

Also has your husband been home during the pandemic and still spending $800 - how? The hiding access to account is very suspect. Does he have a drinking or drug problem?

[Anonymous]

Clearly the first issue is that he takes the money. The second, but equally important issue is WHERE is it going? The things you list don't account for it so that is concerning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One question: is he happy that you earn 4K and he earns 6? Ie, has he ever made a comment about it, is it the results of your choices or not at all, common decision and all good on that front?

Reason I ask is that although I put way more in the family budget I also keep more. Woman here, the reason being that I chose a stressful and demanding job because I wanted financial security and my DH has always claimed he didn’t care about money and wanted to work a job that matched his values and gave him time (so he works for an NGO).

I respect that, but I get to keep more of my hard earned money for my personal expenses (once all the rest and obviously the kids’ needs are covered). No 50-50 of our left over budget

Man, if a guy said this, he'd get pilloried here. This sounds like a miserable household if this is what is being communicated.

I don’t think so. Im a woman that works for something like a non-profit, for ideological reasons. My husband works long hours for s high paying company. Material stuff isnt that inportant to me. I do have some splurges (hair salon) but could afford those on my salary. If my husband wants to blow some of the money he makes on a fancy car or first class tickets, that’s fine. I’d be pissed if he was expecting me to sacrifice more for the kids upkeep than he is, though.