I want to get rid of our dog

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the past few days after several weeks of no issues.

She woke me up a few nights ago to go outside. I walk out to make sure she goes. I go back to bed and she lays down on the couch downstairs (allowed and cooler for her). Then she follows me back up but I discover in the morning that she had peed on carpet first.

Yesterday we leave for 1.5 hours. I had her out for 20 minutes first. She’s laying down when we leave. Come home and she had pooped on the floor.

Gone this morning for an hour for church. She usually sleeps the whole time we are gone and she is always outside beforehand. Come home and she had peed and pooped.

Seriously. This is why I’m done. I like to keep a clean house. I hate cleaning massive amounts of pee out of our carpet. I’m just done. I don’t like living like this. I don’t have enough love or tolerance to feel OK about it. I also don’t have thousands of dollars and hours of time to spend on special behavior training. Crates are not going to work again and also require hours of training I don’t have.

She needs a crate. She is pooping in protest.

[Anonymous]

She has been trained. This seems to be anxiety driven after us being home for so long. We all worked/school last school year and gone all day and no issues. Is there a supplement before Prozac?!

[Anonymous]

OP, go for the medication. It's kinder than rehoming, IMO. It's not like she will be less anxious in her new home.

Also, the rest of the family absolutely must step up. Ok, so you clean up the poop in the house, but the kids can be scrubbing the pee out of carpets. They can be in charge of walking her every 2 hours. And your DH absolutely needs to pitch in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, go for the medication. It's kinder than rehoming, IMO. It's not like she will be less anxious in her new home.

Also, the rest of the family absolutely must step up. Ok, so you clean up the poop in the house, but the kids can be scrubbing the pee out of carpets. They can be in charge of walking her every 2 hours. And your DH absolutely needs to pitch in.

I can’t rehome. I don’t think I can bring myself to do it. My one kid would never forgive me and the younger ones would be upset too. Since we are all still home for school and work, she’s been fine. They have been walking her during school breaks and we moved her back to our floor to sleep and that’s so much easier.

We also found a calm chew on amazon. Not sure if it’s a coincidence but we give them to her about 30 minutes before we leave and we’ve come home to no issues. Coincidence or working?

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry this is happening. On top of everything life is throwing at all of us right now. I am definitely pro crate training if you can muster the strength to see it through because the pee and poop issues will immediately be solved. Plus Kong’s. We have 8 in our freezer at any given time and she never goes in her crate without one. Nap time come she sits at the freezer and waits for us to release her to her crate so she can chow down on one before she sleeps. Without her being in the crate for a few hours during her naps, I’d lose my mind.

[Anonymous]

Crate, diapers and meds. What on earth were you expecting without them? A miracle? Ha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry this is happening. On top of everything life is throwing at all of us right now. I am definitely pro crate training if you can muster the strength to see it through because the pee and poop issues will immediately be solved. Plus Kong’s. We have 8 in our freezer at any given time and she never goes in her crate without one. Nap time come she sits at the freezer and waits for us to release her to her crate so she can chow down on one before she sleeps. Without her being in the crate for a few hours during her naps, I’d lose my mind.

She’s almost 4 so I have a hard time seeing how it would work after so many years without a crate. And before covid, we’d all be gone 7 hours and she’d be fine all day. So I still think some was anxiety about us leaving. I’m hoping those calm chews actually work. But she lays around all day now and I can’t imagine a crate for that. Our previous dog could be left day and night for over a decade. We would have people check on her when we were out of town. It was so easy!

[Anonymous]

I think the issue is if you crate her you at basically letting her know you are taking back Control. So she can’t just pee and poop wherever she likes. And she needs to self sooth. It’s not a punishment. It’s a sanity builder for what sounds like a dog who has decided they are in charge now..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sure I will get slack about this.

We had a dog for 13 years and she was great. We took a break after she died and I was so glad to not have a dog because we had 6 kids by that point. Then I started getting talked into it again and I got pressured by hubby and kids to rescue a puppy. I’ve regretted it every single day, that I didn’t put my foot down and say no. The puppy phase was a nightmare and I was seriously depressed during that time. She was difficult to crate train and manage to escape out of all crates, she’s destroyed so many spots in our yard and house. She’s 3.5 now and has calmed down a lot but she’s still so hard. She will still occasionally have accidents, she’s a fence jumper, barker, etc. It’s difficult to leave her the few times we go out of town. She gets very anxious being left and even taking her to grandparents with us, we can’t leave her alone for an outing or she will pee in every room of their house. We did training school and she practically failed. My other attempts at training have fallen short and frankly, I didn’t have the time or interest to devote to it and kids aren’t super capable of that. She’s like a high needs dog. In short, on top of life and kids and everything else going on, she stresses me out ALL THE TIME and I have fantasies of getting rid of her.

The issue I have is guilt. My husband is happy to get rid of her if I say yes. But I know one kid will probably never forgive me. A few others will be upset. So I either deal with it and accept it as my sacrifice and mistake or I disappoint my kids. And if we can’t keep her, who will? I doubt anyone else is going to be willing to take her with all of her quirks and needs. She actually really loves people but she’s so high needs. We would have to contact our rescue group and I just don’t see how they can find a new home for her.

Your children will become handicapped if you don’t allow them to deal with disappointment and grief now.

When they have their own place, they can make the sacrifice.

[Anonymous]

The message you are sending to your kids is that relationships are only worth it when it's easy. They love this dog, and you are saying it doesn't matter. You were not willing to put the work into this dog, and this is the result. You still can! It's never too late. Love is a verb. As soon as you make an effort, things will change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The message you are sending to your kids is that relationships are only worth it when it's easy. They love this dog, and you are saying it doesn't matter. You were not willing to put the work into this dog, and this is the result. You still can! It's never too late. Love is a verb. As soon as you make an effort, things will change.

we haven't gotten rid of her.....

[Anonymous]

OP I get it, we have a difficult, anxious dog. I resisted Prozac also but after working with a trainer they recommended it, and it has made a huge difference. The dog is just calmer and less anxious, it didn’t change his personality. Day care has been really helpful just to give me a break from him, and it does tire him out—he goes 2 or 3xweek. Also we took advantage of being home so much to do all-family dog training. We found a trainer that still meets in person (masks & distanced). That has been a game changer. Everyone is now on the same page and invested in the ongoing training.

It seems like a lot to do but it’s all a trade-off: this has reduced my stress so much. And I love the dog despite everything. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got rid of a puppy recently. It was a heart wrenching and traumatic experience but I have no regrets for my own mental health and the direct correlation to our family’s wellbeing. I encourage you to go with your desire to rehome the dog. I was honest with my family about the reasons why and while there were a lot of tears, there is also an understanding that it was for the best.

Can you elaborate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A - Just turn her into an outside dog.

B- You have six kids and not ONE of them loves the dog enough to take responsibility for it? Even the husband?

OMG NO! How inhumane can you be? This is why people should not get dogs who are not willing to put in the time to care for one. Next time get a stuffed dog because real dogs are not perfect. Please contact the rescue, rehome if you must and never ever adopt again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel the same way - lots of kids, they wanted a dog and got the first one they saw even though I said to do lots of research first. The one thing I said was that I didn't want a barker - well, the dog barks incessantly every time he is put into his crate. No amount of (expensive) training has cured her of that. I say give the dog away and replace her with an easier dog. Your child will eventually forget the hard dog and love the easier dog. Make the child who cares the most for the other dog help you choose the easier one. I'm nearly there too.

This is disgusting. Truly repulsive.

Anyone who gets rid of a dog, barring aggression or some other unsolvable problem (this does not sound like one) should not get another dog.

Lol. A dog is not a person. Having a pet is supposed to be an enhancement and enjoyment for the family. If it’s not working out get rid of the dog and get another, or don’t. You dog worshippers are truly bizarre.

Op if it’s not working out, get rid of it! It’s just an animal.

A dog is a living creature deserving of love and attention. You should get a stuffed dog if you want it to be perfect.