NYT: In the Covid-19 Economy, You Can Have a Kid or a Job. You Can’t Have Both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Multi generational housing is NOT the answer during the time of Covid! Are you nuts??? Look at what happened in Italy you idiots.

Exactly. Multi-generational households were THE driver of the high fatality rate in Italy. Hotel Mama is a common concept there, and it didn't work out well for the elders.

It was also a big problem in Wuhan. The only child policy meant that sometimes a couple would live with two sets of grandparents.

Not talking about Italy or Wuhan. Talking about DMV and multigenerational families here who have managed beautifully. Not talking about weekend at Nana kind of situation where extended family eats lunch with the matriarch in her house. Normal, well to do families living in a SFH with rooms for everyone.

Yuck! This sounds like a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion, I know. But maybe having more parents at home will bring back family values.

Which family values?

We live in the society that does not value families. If we did there would be a much better social safety net

family values to instill:

#1 - Teach our kids to help others. Rather than spend all our money and time on extracurriculars, working to afford huge houses, etc., donate time and resources to families in need. Open our homes to help single mothers. Prepare extra food for families who don't have time. The first step is for you to teach your children to value family and become a social safety net.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion, I know. But maybe having more parents at home will bring back family values.

No, if anything, a lot of marriages are going through unprecedented stress right now and probably won't make it or will be dealing with the negative consequences for years.

Yes, it's so sad too. They're trying to maintain pre-covid lives and it's causing unneeded stress. If only they could downsize, simplify and enjoy what they have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought the author brought up a good point about risks to teachers, which is commonly cited as a reason for these on/off days and weeks:

"it’s hard to imagine that a system in which each child will spend two weeks out of every three being handed off among various caretakers only to reconvene in a classroom, infinitely increasing the number of potential virus-carrying interactions, protects a teacher more than a consistent pod of students week in and out with minimized external interactions."

And with people bringing in grandparents to help out more, it will increase risks to them too.

But I thought kids can't spread the virus? So how would this increase the risk to teachers? It seems like a lot of parents want to insist that kids can't transmit COVID but all of a sudden when it suits them, they can!

The point is that you are just trading one exposure risk for another. If kids can't spread the virus like you say, then why are they devising all of these crazy schemes to limit the number in the classroom at one time or on the bus, and subsequently forcing many parents to find alternative care for the off days? It seems like it would be more productive to keep the staff away from eachother, not the teachers away from the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion, I know. But maybe having more parents at home will bring back family values.

No, if anything, a lot of marriages are going through unprecedented stress right now and probably won't make it or will be dealing with the negative consequences for years.

Yes, it's so sad too. They're trying to maintain pre-covid lives and it's causing unneeded stress. If only they could downsize, simplify and enjoy what they have.

If only they could downsize (= happily lose their job and health insurance, and give up those pesky mortgage and grocery payments) and enjoy what they have, everything would be rosy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion, I know. But maybe having more parents at home will bring back family values.

Which family values?

We live in the society that does not value families. If we did there would be a much better social safety net

family values to instill:

#1 - Teach our kids to help others. Rather than spend all our money and time on extracurriculars, working to afford huge houses, etc., donate time and resources to families in need. Open our homes to help single mothers. Prepare extra food for families who don't have time. The first step is for you to teach your children to value family and become a social safety net.

This is really rich, because single mothers are suffering terribly right now.

And also shows how out of touch you are because most dual-income parents are not working for the reasons you profess. But keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel special. Bye bye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion, I know. But maybe having more parents at home will bring back family values.

No, if anything, a lot of marriages are going through unprecedented stress right now and probably won't make it or will be dealing with the negative consequences for years.

Yes, it's so sad too. They're trying to maintain pre-covid lives and it's causing unneeded stress. If only they could downsize, simplify and enjoy what they have.

Downsize to what? Most people are not using a second income to buy luxuries, they're using it to buy necessities (or get necessities like health insurance)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion, I know. But maybe having more parents at home will bring back family values.

Which family values?

We live in the society that does not value families. If we did there would be a much better social safety net

family values to instill:

#1 - Teach our kids to help others. Rather than spend all our money and time on extracurriculars, working to afford huge houses, etc., donate time and resources to families in need. Open our homes to help single mothers. Prepare extra food for families who don't have time. The first step is for you to teach your children to value family and become a social safety net.

This is really rich, because single mothers are suffering terribly right now.

And also shows how out of touch you are because most dual-income parents are not working for the reasons you profess. But keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel special. Bye bye.

Those with resources are the ones that are supposed to be helping those you're mentioning. But keep making excuses about why YOU aren't able to help anyone else and just complain about lack of social safety nets. People want fixes but aren't willing to sacrifice to help. It's unfortunate. There is absolutely no reason for people to live in mil $ homes, spend thousands on club teams then complain about how hard it would be to live on one income. I know plenty of families making sacrifices to have a parent stay home pre-covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion, I know. But maybe having more parents at home will bring back family values.

No, if anything, a lot of marriages are going through unprecedented stress right now and probably won't make it or will be dealing with the negative consequences for years.

Yes, it's so sad too. They're trying to maintain pre-covid lives and it's causing unneeded stress. If only they could downsize, simplify and enjoy what they have.

If only they could downsize (= happily lose their job and health insurance, and give up those pesky mortgage and grocery payments) and enjoy what they have, everything would be rosy.

I follow the real estate forums closely. I saw so many families maxing out their mortgages on $1.2 - $1.8 million homes in McLean. Homes they could only afford so long as both incomes totaling $300K - $400K kept rolling in.

Now the schools they were all gushing over are closed for 10-12 months and they’re screwed. Can’t quit because mortgage and can’t hire help because they stretched in the first place.

Golden handcuffs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion, I know. But maybe having more parents at home will bring back family values.

Which family values?

We live in the society that does not value families. If we did there would be a much better social safety net

family values to instill:

#1 - Teach our kids to help others. Rather than spend all our money and time on extracurriculars, working to afford huge houses, etc., donate time and resources to families in need. Open our homes to help single mothers. Prepare extra food for families who don't have time. The first step is for you to teach your children to value family and become a social safety net.

This is really rich, because single mothers are suffering terribly right now.

And also shows how out of touch you are because most dual-income parents are not working for the reasons you profess. But keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel special. Bye bye.

Those with resources are the ones that are supposed to be helping those you're mentioning. But keep making excuses about why YOU aren't able to help anyone else and just complain about lack of social safety nets. People want fixes but aren't willing to sacrifice to help. It's unfortunate. There is absolutely no reason for people to live in mil $ homes, spend thousands on club teams then complain about how hard it would be to live on one income. I know plenty of families making sacrifices to have a parent stay home pre-covid.

The bolded is really what it comes down to, isn't it? Mothers shouldn't be working. (Yeah, yeah, I know there are some SAHD. That's not the point.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion, I know. But maybe having more parents at home will bring back family values.

Which family values?

We live in the society that does not value families. If we did there would be a much better social safety net

family values to instill:

#1 - Teach our kids to help others. Rather than spend all our money and time on extracurriculars, working to afford huge houses, etc., donate time and resources to families in need. Open our homes to help single mothers. Prepare extra food for families who don't have time. The first step is for you to teach your children to value family and become a social safety net.

This is really rich, because single mothers are suffering terribly right now.

And also shows how out of touch you are because most dual-income parents are not working for the reasons you profess. But keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel special. Bye bye.

Those with resources are the ones that are supposed to be helping those you're mentioning. But keep making excuses about why YOU aren't able to help anyone else and just complain about lack of social safety nets. People want fixes but aren't willing to sacrifice to help. It's unfortunate. There is absolutely no reason for people to live in mil $ homes, spend thousands on club teams then complain about how hard it would be to live on one income. I know plenty of families making sacrifices to have a parent stay home pre-covid.

1. You don't know anything about PP's level of volunteerism.

2. Volunteerism cannot ever compensate for lack of a comprehensive, nationwide social safety net.

3. Dual-income families, with rare exceptions, HAVE TO BE DUAL-INCOME to afford a home, food, and healthcare. Not luxuries. The basics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion, I know. But maybe having more parents at home will bring back family values.

No, if anything, a lot of marriages are going through unprecedented stress right now and probably won't make it or will be dealing with the negative consequences for years.

Yes, it's so sad too. They're trying to maintain pre-covid lives and it's causing unneeded stress. If only they could downsize, simplify and enjoy what they have.

If only they could downsize (= happily lose their job and health insurance, and give up those pesky mortgage and grocery payments) and enjoy what they have, everything would be rosy.

They can downsize. Rent an apartment to live in and rent out the SFH. The rent from the SFH might not entirely offset the lost second income, but it is better than nothing. We’re currently looking for a 3 br, 2 BA SFH in 20910 and am struggling to find a place under $2200/mo. Many places are going for $3-5000/mo. They should rent in Western MD or some other COLA for a year and things will probably be much better by then.

But stop crying over things that poor families have always faced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion, I know. But maybe having more parents at home will bring back family values.

No, if anything, a lot of marriages are going through unprecedented stress right now and probably won't make it or will be dealing with the negative consequences for years.

Yes, it's so sad too. They're trying to maintain pre-covid lives and it's causing unneeded stress. If only they could downsize, simplify and enjoy what they have.

If only they could downsize (= happily lose their job and health insurance, and give up those pesky mortgage and grocery payments) and enjoy what they have, everything would be rosy.

I follow the real estate forums closely. I saw so many families maxing out their mortgages on $1.2 - $1.8 million homes in McLean. Homes they could only afford so long as both incomes totaling $300K - $400K kept rolling in.

Now the schools they were all gushing over are closed for 10-12 months and they’re screwed. Can’t quit because mortgage and can’t hire help because they stretched in the first place.

Golden handcuffs.

DCUM real estate forums are not equivalent to even a representative number of families in the area, let alone a representative number of families nationwide. Do not mistake anecdata for actual stats.

Jeez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion, I know. But maybe having more parents at home will bring back family values.

No, if anything, a lot of marriages are going through unprecedented stress right now and probably won't make it or will be dealing with the negative consequences for years.

Yes, it's so sad too. They're trying to maintain pre-covid lives and it's causing unneeded stress. If only they could downsize, simplify and enjoy what they have.

If only they could downsize (= happily lose their job and health insurance, and give up those pesky mortgage and grocery payments) and enjoy what they have, everything would be rosy.

I follow the real estate forums closely. I saw so many families maxing out their mortgages on $1.2 - $1.8 million homes in McLean. Homes they could only afford so long as both incomes totaling $300K - $400K kept rolling in.

Now the schools they were all gushing over are closed for 10-12 months and they’re screwed. Can’t quit because mortgage and can’t hire help because they stretched in the first place.

Golden handcuffs.

DCUM real estate forums are not equivalent to even a representative number of families in the area, let alone a representative number of families nationwide. Do not mistake anecdata for actual stats.

Jeez.

And yet...there's nothing untrue about that statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion, I know. But maybe having more parents at home will bring back family values.

No, if anything, a lot of marriages are going through unprecedented stress right now and probably won't make it or will be dealing with the negative consequences for years.

Yes, it's so sad too. They're trying to maintain pre-covid lives and it's causing unneeded stress. If only they could downsize, simplify and enjoy what they have.

If only they could downsize (= happily lose their job and health insurance, and give up those pesky mortgage and grocery payments) and enjoy what they have, everything would be rosy.

They can downsize. Rent an apartment to live in and rent out the SFH. The rent from the SFH might not entirely offset the lost second income, but it is better than nothing. We’re currently looking for a 3 br, 2 BA SFH in 20910 and am struggling to find a place under $2200/mo. Many places are going for $3-5000/mo. They should rent in Western MD or some other COLA for a year and things will probably be much better by then.

But stop crying over things that poor families have always faced.

I am a dual-income familiy IN A RENTAL. We have never been able to afford a SFH.

We cannot give up the second job. Something would have to give. Here, I'll let you choose. Should we give up health insurance, the rent, or our groceries?

And before you start screaming about luxuries: we have one smartphone and one 10-year-old car between three people. Our last vacation was in 2015.