Upspeak and vocal fry on work conference calls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Listen young women. Don't let people gaslight you into looking even further at yourselves to figure out what's wrong with you and why can't you fit in and change to sound more like a man.

Professor Higgins asked this question in "My Fair Lady," why can't a woman be more like a man?" He was giving her voice lessons to turn a low class gutter snipe into a high society lady, as an experiment.

Just ignore these idiots. Talk how you want to talk.

Let's be clear about something, babe: You're not going to normalize these unprofessional manners of speaking. Another thing that's not going to be normalized in corporate spaces is this whole choose-your-own-pronoun nonsense.

Babe.... oh boy.. he used Babe... he must be very serious. I mean, he did say BABE!

Ugh this is so gross. Any man that talks to women like that, even anonymously, is just looking for reasons not to hire women and keep his good ol’ boys club going.

Agreed, but the "talk how you want to talk" is one of those women who expects the business and the world to revolve around her. For any person who does this, male or female, and more senior people recommend against it, take that advice to heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At the first company I worked out of college, the owner promoted up speak as a way of sounding humble. Hate it!

This is its source, of course. Have an opinion already! I grew up in a misogynistic family and that's how I learned to talk -- to vaguely and as inoffensively as possible suggest an idea to someone else to pick up and run with.

I can't believe young woman of 2020 still have to do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Listen young women. Don't let people gaslight you into looking even further at yourselves to figure out what's wrong with you and why can't you fit in and change to sound more like a man.

Professor Higgins asked this question in "My Fair Lady," why can't a woman be more like a man?" He was giving her voice lessons to turn a low class gutter snipe into a high society lady, as an experiment.

Just ignore these idiots. Talk how you want to talk.

Let's be clear about something, babe: You're not going to normalize these unprofessional manners of speaking. Another thing that's not going to be normalized in corporate spaces is this whole choose-your-own-pronoun nonsense.

Babe.... oh boy.. he used Babe... he must be very serious. I mean, he did say BABE!

Ugh this is so gross. Any man that talks to women like that, even anonymously, is just looking for reasons not to hire women and keep his good ol’ boys club going.

Agreed, but the "talk how you want to talk" is one of those women who expects the business and the world to revolve around her. For any person who does this, male or female, and more senior people recommend against it, take that advice to heart.

This makes no sense. No one is expecting the business and the world to revolve around them. They just want to talk how they naturally talk without being judged or discriminated against because of it. Some people have high voices, some people have low voices, raspy voices, stutters, vocal fry, vocal tics, disfluencies, accents, speech impediments...as long as you’re communicating clearly and respectfully it just doesn’t matter in most jobs. Your special snowflake ears will be okay.

[Anonymous]

Keep asking the uptalkers if they have a question and the vocal fry offenders if they need a minute to get some water or a cough drop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the first company I worked out of college, the owner promoted up speak as a way of sounding humble. Hate it!

This is its source, of course. Have an opinion already! I grew up in a misogynistic family and that's how I learned to talk -- to vaguely and as inoffensively as possible suggest an idea to someone else to pick up and run with.

I can't believe young woman of 2020 still have to do this.

Men are subject to this as well.

[Anonymous]

I'm 35 with upspeak and a vocal fry. I don't care what you think

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Listen young women. Don't let people gaslight you into looking even further at yourselves to figure out what's wrong with you and why can't you fit in and change to sound more like a man.

Professor Higgins asked this question in "My Fair Lady," why can't a woman be more like a man?" He was giving her voice lessons to turn a low class gutter snipe into a high society lady, as an experiment.

Just ignore these idiots. Talk how you want to talk.

Let's be clear about something, babe: You're not going to normalize these unprofessional manners of speaking. Another thing that's not going to be normalized in corporate spaces is this whole choose-your-own-pronoun nonsense.

Babe.... oh boy.. he used Babe... he must be very serious. I mean, he did say BABE!

Ugh this is so gross. Any man that talks to women like that, even anonymously, is just looking for reasons not to hire women and keep his good ol’ boys club going.

Agreed, but the "talk how you want to talk" is one of those women who expects the business and the world to revolve around her. For any person who does this, male or female, and more senior people recommend against it, take that advice to heart.

This makes no sense. No one is expecting the business and the world to revolve around them. They just want to talk how they naturally talk without being judged or discriminated against because of it. Some people have high voices, some people have low voices, raspy voices, stutters, vocal fry, vocal tics, disfluencies, accents, speech impediments...as long as you’re communicating clearly and respectfully it just doesn’t matter in most jobs. Your special snowflake ears will be okay.

Umm, you're the person suggesting that women in workplace not meet normal conventions of speech. You've demonstrated who's the snowflake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Listen young women. Don't let people gaslight you into looking even further at yourselves to figure out what's wrong with you and why can't you fit in and change to sound more like a man.

Professor Higgins asked this question in "My Fair Lady," why can't a woman be more like a man?" He was giving her voice lessons to turn a low class gutter snipe into a high society lady, as an experiment.

Just ignore these idiots. Talk how you want to talk.

Let's be clear about something, babe: You're not going to normalize these unprofessional manners of speaking. Another thing that's not going to be normalized in corporate spaces is this whole choose-your-own-pronoun nonsense.

Babe.... oh boy.. he used Babe... he must be very serious. I mean, he did say BABE!

Ugh this is so gross. Any man that talks to women like that, even anonymously, is just looking for reasons not to hire women and keep his good ol’ boys club going.

Agreed, but the "talk how you want to talk" is one of those women who expects the business and the world to revolve around her. For any person who does this, male or female, and more senior people recommend against it, take that advice to heart.

This makes no sense. No one is expecting the business and the world to revolve around them. They just want to talk how they naturally talk without being judged or discriminated against because of it. Some people have high voices, some people have low voices, raspy voices, stutters, vocal fry, vocal tics, disfluencies, accents, speech impediments...as long as you’re communicating clearly and respectfully it just doesn’t matter in most jobs. Your special snowflake ears will be okay.

But of all those things listed, vocal fry is the only one that’s an affectation. It’s not natural. I would similarly be annoyed by anyone who spoke in a fake British accent to try to sound smarter or more interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't hear it in anyone over the age of about 28. It's actively harming careers. As a man I can't speak up because it sounds sexist but hopefully some of the older millenial and gen x women will say something.

I'm a millennial woman and I do have something to say about this.

You know what's harming our careers? Sexist mouth-breathing men like you who look for any reason to dismiss the intellect of a female colleague.

If you think vocal fry is annoying, I can guarantee you also sound like a total idiot in meetings.

Bravo, sis 👏🏼

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 35 with upspeak and a vocal fry. I don't care what you think

Don’t you mean, “I don’t care what you think?”

How do you even pull off both of these affectations at once?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Listen young women. Don't let people gaslight you into looking even further at yourselves to figure out what's wrong with you and why can't you fit in and change to sound more like a man.

Professor Higgins asked this question in "My Fair Lady," why can't a woman be more like a man?" He was giving her voice lessons to turn a low class gutter snipe into a high society lady, as an experiment.

Just ignore these idiots. Talk how you want to talk.

Let's be clear about something, babe: You're not going to normalize these unprofessional manners of speaking. Another thing that's not going to be normalized in corporate spaces is this whole choose-your-own-pronoun nonsense.

Babe.... oh boy.. he used Babe... he must be very serious. I mean, he did say BABE!

Ugh this is so gross. Any man that talks to women like that, even anonymously, is just looking for reasons not to hire women and keep his good ol’ boys club going.

Agreed, but the "talk how you want to talk" is one of those women who expects the business and the world to revolve around her. For any person who does this, male or female, and more senior people recommend against it, take that advice to heart.

This makes no sense. No one is expecting the business and the world to revolve around them. They just want to talk how they naturally talk without being judged or discriminated against because of it. Some people have high voices, some people have low voices, raspy voices, stutters, vocal fry, vocal tics, disfluencies, accents, speech impediments...as long as you’re communicating clearly and respectfully it just doesn’t matter in most jobs. Your special snowflake ears will be okay.

Umm, you're the person suggesting that women in workplace not meet normal conventions of speech. You've demonstrated who's the snowflake.

JFC, the argument that older white men do this so it counts as "normal" and must be adhered to is not a successful argument

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Same - no way I'm listening to that crap. When people use upspeak in a meeting, I go out of my way to ask if they had a question. "is there a question in there for the team? Oh, it sounded like a question"

I fired someone like you recently. It was so great. Our whole office is happier with that loser gone. As I'm sure yours will be when you get the axe someday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 35 with upspeak and a vocal fry. I don't care what you think

Your voice is like fingernails on a chalkboard, and it makes you look weak and unintelligent. Why would you not care about making that impression on others?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Listen young women. Don't let people gaslight you into looking even further at yourselves to figure out what's wrong with you and why can't you fit in and change to sound more like a man.

Professor Higgins asked this question in "My Fair Lady," why can't a woman be more like a man?" He was giving her voice lessons to turn a low class gutter snipe into a high society lady, as an experiment.

Just ignore these idiots. Talk how you want to talk.

Let's be clear about something, babe: You're not going to normalize these unprofessional manners of speaking. Another thing that's not going to be normalized in corporate spaces is this whole choose-your-own-pronoun nonsense.

Babe.... oh boy.. he used Babe... he must be very serious. I mean, he did say BABE!

Ugh this is so gross. Any man that talks to women like that, even anonymously, is just looking for reasons not to hire women and keep his good ol’ boys club going.

Agreed, but the "talk how you want to talk" is one of those women who expects the business and the world to revolve around her. For any person who does this, male or female, and more senior people recommend against it, take that advice to heart.

This makes no sense. No one is expecting the business and the world to revolve around them. They just want to talk how they naturally talk without being judged or discriminated against because of it. Some people have high voices, some people have low voices, raspy voices, stutters, vocal fry, vocal tics, disfluencies, accents, speech impediments...as long as you’re communicating clearly and respectfully it just doesn’t matter in most jobs. Your special snowflake ears will be okay.

But of all those things listed, vocal fry is the only one that’s an affectation. It’s not natural. I would similarly be annoyed by anyone who spoke in a fake British accent to try to sound smarter or more interesting.

Maybe it was learned, but no one is consciously changing their voice all day, every day. At some point it just becomes your natural voice and it’s really tough to change it. I have vocal fry a lot but I don’t do it consciously. It’s just my voice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Same - no way I'm listening to that crap. When people use upspeak in a meeting, I go out of my way to ask if they had a question. "is there a question in there for the team? Oh, it sounded like a question"

I fired someone like you recently. It was so great. Our whole office is happier with that loser gone. As I'm sure yours will be when you get the axe someday.

I don't say it out loud, but I also think, with an inner eye roll, well is that what you think or not? Really comes off as weak. And vocal fry is just plain disgusting. You sound like 70 year old smokers who are about to hawk up a wad of phlegm, or the kid in 2nd grade with no self awareness, that everyone had to look away from when they had snot dangling out of their nose or spit in the corners of their mouth. Maybe that WAS you in 2nd grade but you're an adult now, and you should learn what turns others' stomachs and stop doing it.