I'm a Indian person who has been in two long relationships with white men, and I can both see how it would fail, and why they might be stronger. 1 -- first relationship, in our twenties, he was at first really into the exoticness but at some point I think he found himself really uncomfortable with the "otherness." exotic turned to strangeness. he ended up marrying another white person who is from a very similar background. 2 -- next relationship, which is my marriage, my husband is white but also an immigrant. we talked up front about cultural differences and figured out a way to talk about it all respectfully, respect each other's need to follow certain cultural norms or reject others, to question assumptions in a respectful way. I knew it was a potential point of discomfort so I knew that we needed to learn how to talk it out, and our whole relationship really benefitted. 11 years married and going strong... kids, in-laws all in harmony. |
Because they must stay married not because it's happy times. |
I think because it goes the strongest against cultural norms, so people that date and marry BW to WM have the strongest connections and are already fighting hard to make it work. I wonder if it would hold true for other cultural norms that subvert gender based stereotypes - very tall women marrying short men, etc. I'm really generalizing and thinking aloud, but if you're a man who's willing to think outside the box, maybe you're a more flexible partner and easier to stay married to (or willing to work hard to maintain a marriage)? And anecdotally, I'm in my mid 30's and people are just starting to get divorced. At this point I know about an equal number of interracial and same race divorces. |
| I think once you control for education, the race differences go away. |
Yeah I think this plays into it. You have to be really convinced it will work before proceeding with something that your friends and family disagree with, and anecdotally, this is the one combination (BW/WM) that seems to have the most people who are opposed to it in both the black and white communities. |