Puppy indirectly injured me

[Anonymous]

Ask yourself why you haven’t discussed something as critical as this with your therapist. This is a significant, ongoing issue for you, and is likely to become a significant ongoing issue for your daughter if you decide to rehome the puppy. Talk with your therapist as part of the process of deciding what to do, to help you resolve your resentment, and to explore healthy ways to explain your decisions to your daughter.
I’m leaning towards encouraging you to keep the puppy- who has only been guilty of being a puppy - and who clearly means a lot to your daughter, who has already had a loss to cope with.
I hope you’re able to resolve this in a healthy way for everyone.

This is the best advice here.
- someone who has a therapist and has had a lot of Labs, who are underfoot puppies who grow into underfoot dogs

[Anonymous]

OP, I am begging you: please tell us what the injury is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am begging you: please tell us what the injury is.

My guess is that she injured her eye and possibly has some level of sight impairment. That happened to a woman I know due to an accident involving her DH of a couple years and she divorced him. She couldn’t get past it.

[Anonymous]

Your kid will never forgive you for rehoming this puppy. You need to forgive the puppy. It didn’t intend to hurt you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid will never forgive you for rehoming this puppy. You need to forgive the puppy. It didn’t intend to hurt you.

OP doesn't really care about her Dad's feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would you do if your DD had caused the freak accident? You'd get therapy, I hope. Talk to your therapist about your resentment.

Yep. OP should rehome her daughter while she’s at it - you know, just in case.

You people are insane! It’s a DOG!!!!

OP, you should rehire it and not feel an ounce of guilt. You matter. This dog obsession by the PPs is not healthy. You have negative memories with the dog, don’t sentence yourself to 15 years of drudgery taking care of it. Find it a new home. Your daughter will be fine.

+1

Do what’s right for your family

[Anonymous]

Any puppy is a time commitment and a challenge to train. Most are high energy too. If you return the puppy, you should not get another one until it is the only pet in the house.

[Anonymous]

Until the OP can address the underlying pattern of trauma that leads her being actively repulsed by her autonomy, this is a pattern that will most likely repeat in her life. I’d recommend talking to your therapist about why you disassociate from yourself. It can be a painful process, but learning to come back to being at home in your own body, and fully embracing that you belong to yourself, may help set you free from so much pent up anxiety from trying to be perfect for everyone else ( by controlling the situations and reactions around you.) wishing you peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would you do if your DD had caused the freak accident? You'd get therapy, I hope. Talk to your therapist about your resentment.

Yep. OP should rehome her daughter while she’s at it - you know, just in case.

You people are insane! It’s a DOG!!!!

OP, you should rehire it and not feel an ounce of guilt. You matter. This dog obsession by the PPs is not healthy. You have negative memories with the dog, don’t sentence yourself to 15 years of drudgery taking care of it. Find it a new home. Your daughter will be fine.

+1

Do what’s right for your family

Sure, it's only a dog. But going by OP's reaction, her DD isn't going to just "be fine".

Is OP prepared for that? Or will she just get mad at her DD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It’s a dog. Get rid of it.

+1

I can't see why you're making such an epic drama out of this.

I wouldn't hold it against the puppy but you do, so move on. Your 5 year old daughter may be upset at first but I'm sure she'll get over it.

The 5 year old will probably hold it against her mom for the rest of her life. In a couple decades, she'll post about her terrible mother who got rid of her beloved puppy during the pandemic and posters will tell her to get over herself.

If the daughter grows up to be like her mom you might be right.

[Anonymous]

I think the daughter will mature eventually and understand it. Especially since her mom is permanently injured. My cousin hated his mom at 10 for rehoming a pet so they could find an affordable apartment, but he completely understood by 12 or 13.

[Anonymous]

OP, your injury will always be with you, and rehoming the dog won't change that. But if you keep the dog, there will be ample opportunity for the dog to demonstrate its love and devotion to you, which I'm sure it certainly feels, as that is a dog's nature. If you rehome the dog, you are denying yourself anything positive coming out of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:dogs on stairs while walking down is a very common injury. not the dogs fault and based on your experience, i am, surprised you are mentioning the other issues you are having, all very normal dog behavior especially with another dog to play with.

training training training but you sound resigned to get rid of him, i hope he ends up in a better home.

OP here. It would have been one thing if I fell down the stairs and broke a bone or something, and the bone healed and that was the end of it. The injury I got however is not one that will ever resolve or heal, a real freak accident. That's the part that really upsets me, I will have to deal with this injury every minute of every day and I'm resentful. It's almost like I was rear-ended in a car accident and developed permanent neck pain or something that would never go away. In that instance I would be extremely resentful of the driver who caused the accident.

How do you think your extreme and daily resentfulness of your daughter's beloved animal will affect her and the relationship the two of you have with each other?

OP here. I don't know. I don't say anything negative about the puppy in front of my daughter. I do avoid the puppy though. My daughter plays with the puppy.

I was fine with the puppy before this freak incident happened. I think the puppy is a more challenging puppy than any other puppy we've had in our 20 years of dog ownership. And I don't like how much stress the puppy is causing our older dog. That was unexpected. We've always had two dogs, usually with a several year age difference between them, but I've never seen this kind of adversarial relationship between a puppy and older dog.

“20 years of dog ownership” is like 2 dogs OP.

I had one dog its whole life and that was “15 years of dog ownership.”

Puppies are naughty, that’s part of why they are so “adorable.”

Next time get a well behaved dog from the shelter or something. I got a purebred adult dog who doesn’t drive me crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the daughter will mature eventually and understand it. Especially since her mom is permanently injured. My cousin hated his mom at 10 for rehoming a pet so they could find an affordable apartment, but he completely understood by 12 or 13.

That’s a different situation, a housing issue. There is no reason to rehome this dog.

[Anonymous]

My guess is that OP is like my mother

"I injured my eye orbit quite severely. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but it's a lifelong problem that I'll have to deal with."

"I'm quite sure I've got gout now. There's no need for me to take the test, and you can't find good doctors for this anymore. I'm in a very good Facebook group."