Puppy indirectly injured me

[Anonymous]

OP here. We got the puppy in November after our 16 year old dog died in September. Our daughter was very bonded with the dog who died, so I wanted to get a puppy because she was so upset. I also wanted a puppy because we've always had two dogs and having just one seemed lonely.

Anyhow, we got the new puppy and I was fine with him until this incident occurred. Now I do resent the puppy and avoid the puppy (I of course take care of the puppy and walk him, but I don't play with him. My daughter plays with him all day).

[Anonymous]

Every behavior you have described is typical of puppies!!

[Anonymous]

It’s a dog. Get rid of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:dogs on stairs while walking down is a very common injury. not the dogs fault and based on your experience, i am, surprised you are mentioning the other issues you are having, all very normal dog behavior especially with another dog to play with.

training training training but you sound resigned to get rid of him, i hope he ends up in a better home.

OP here. It would have been one thing if I fell down the stairs and broke a bone or something, and the bone healed and that was the end of it. The injury I got however is not one that will ever resolve or heal, a real freak accident. That's the part that really upsets me, I will have to deal with this injury every minute of every day and I'm resentful. It's almost like I was rear-ended in a car accident and developed permanent neck pain or something that would never go away. In that instance I would be extremely resentful of the driver who caused the accident.

How do you think your extreme and daily resentfulness of your daughter's beloved animal will affect her and the relationship the two of you have with each other?

OP here. I don't know. I don't say anything negative about the puppy in front of my daughter. I do avoid the puppy though. My daughter plays with the puppy.

I was fine with the puppy before this freak incident happened. I think the puppy is a more challenging puppy than any other puppy we've had in our 20 years of dog ownership. And I don't like how much stress the puppy is causing our older dog. That was unexpected. We've always had two dogs, usually with a several year age difference between them, but I've never seen this kind of adversarial relationship between a puppy and older dog.

I get it, but you brought a puppy into your home and you are blaming him for being a puppy. What do you want any of us to say to you? You clearly want to get rid of him. That’s a choice you are going to have to make. If you return him, you will have to admit to your daughter that you made a huge mistake.

Again, all animals are different. You could get over this if you wanted to and worked hard to do so. It doesn’t sound like you want to put in the work. You’ve said nothing about the dog that isn’t normal puppy behavior, even if the other puppies you have had did not exhibit it.

[Anonymous]

The fact that you're still so mad at this dog 2 months later is what's pricking my antenna. You might want to consider a teletherapy session. I'm not sure how bad the injury is but if it's truly going to be with you every day for the rest of your life, you need to come to terms with it and not fester in resentment. It was an accident - as much your accident as the puppy's. You have to find a way to deal with your resentment over it and move on, whether you keep the dog or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:dogs on stairs while walking down is a very common injury. not the dogs fault and based on your experience, i am, surprised you are mentioning the other issues you are having, all very normal dog behavior especially with another dog to play with.

training training training but you sound resigned to get rid of him, i hope he ends up in a better home.

OP here. It would have been one thing if I fell down the stairs and broke a bone or something, and the bone healed and that was the end of it. The injury I got however is not one that will ever resolve or heal, a real freak accident. That's the part that really upsets me, I will have to deal with this injury every minute of every day and I'm resentful. It's almost like I was rear-ended in a car accident and developed permanent neck pain or something that would never go away. In that instance I would be extremely resentful of the driver who caused the accident.

It's normal to be upset but I'm not sure it's healthy to feel "extreme resent" towards the puppy or the driver. I agree with everyone that you should rehome the puppy but I think you should also consider talking to a counselor to help you work through your emotions about the injury.

OP here. I do have a therapist but have not discussed my feelings about the injury with her. Maybe I should. I don't know how I would ever "get over it" though. The injury I sustained causes me problems all day. Of course I would feel extreme resentment--who wouldn't?

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you state what the injury is?

I’d rehome the dog while it’s still a puppy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you're still so mad at this dog 2 months later is what's pricking my antenna. You might want to consider a teletherapy session. I'm not sure how bad the injury is but if it's truly going to be with you every day for the rest of your life, you need to come to terms with it and not fester in resentment. It was an accident - as much your accident as the puppy's. You have to find a way to deal with your resentment over it and move on, whether you keep the dog or not.

OP here. I've come to terms with the injury. There are now some things I am not able to do and may never be able to do because of the injury. It really was a freak occurrence.

When it happened I had no idea that an injury like this could happen because of a simple fall on the stairs that didn't seem so bad at the time. I have not been able to let go of the resentment and don't think I ever will.

[Anonymous]

You hate the dog because it made you trip and now you hate everything about the dog and everything he does annoys you because you see it through hate. All of his actions are escalated to bad because that's how you chose to see it.

Also, I kind of don't believe this is a real post. You are vague about everything including the breed of the dog, which is bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you state what the injury is?

I’d rehome the dog while it’s still a puppy

I don't want to state what the injury is because it's so specific but let's just say it's an injury that I'd never even heard of before, and even now I'm shocked that it could happen because of a simple fall. But I joined an online support group for this condition, and others in the support group had similar stories to mine--that theirs also occurred because of falls.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I don't want to say the breed of dog because it's a very specific breed. Not a Goldendoodle or something common like that.

Anyhow, the suggestion of talking to my therapist about this is a good one, I hadn't really thought about that but I do agree that is a good first step.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:dogs on stairs while walking down is a very common injury. not the dogs fault and based on your experience, i am, surprised you are mentioning the other issues you are having, all very normal dog behavior especially with another dog to play with.

training training training but you sound resigned to get rid of him, i hope he ends up in a better home.

OP here. It would have been one thing if I fell down the stairs and broke a bone or something, and the bone healed and that was the end of it. The injury I got however is not one that will ever resolve or heal, a real freak accident. That's the part that really upsets me, I will have to deal with this injury every minute of every day and I'm resentful. It's almost like I was rear-ended in a car accident and developed permanent neck pain or something that would never go away. In that instance I would be extremely resentful of the driver who caused the accident.

I would hate to see the grudges you hold against humans who wrong you! The puppy we had as a kid ripped an earring out of my mom’s ear tearing her ear lobe. She could never wear earrings again unless they were clip on. And it’s her ear so highly visible and cosmetic. It’s still her favorite dog of all the ones they’ve had. You can choose to get over it or feel bad for yourself. I think we all know which you’ve chosen and are now here looking for us to back you up. Maybe your spouse can keep the dog and the kid?

Get a dog trainer and a handrail for the stairs.

[Anonymous]

A very specific super rare breed of dog and a super specific rare injury. I'm still very skeptical.

If you are real, talking to your therapist is a very good idea. Personally I don't think you have come to terms with your injury otherwise you would not hate your dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:dogs on stairs while walking down is a very common injury. not the dogs fault and based on your experience, i am, surprised you are mentioning the other issues you are having, all very normal dog behavior especially with another dog to play with.

training training training but you sound resigned to get rid of him, i hope he ends up in a better home.

OP here. It would have been one thing if I fell down the stairs and broke a bone or something, and the bone healed and that was the end of it. The injury I got however is not one that will ever resolve or heal, a real freak accident. That's the part that really upsets me, I will have to deal with this injury every minute of every day and I'm resentful. It's almost like I was rear-ended in a car accident and developed permanent neck pain or something that would never go away. In that instance I would be extremely resentful of the driver who caused the accident.

It's normal to be upset but I'm not sure it's healthy to feel "extreme resent" towards the puppy or the driver. I agree with everyone that you should rehome the puppy but I think you should also consider talking to a counselor to help you work through your emotions about the injury.

OP here. I do have a therapist but have not discussed my feelings about the injury with her. Maybe I should. I don't know how I would ever "get over it" though. The injury I sustained causes me problems all day. Of course I would feel extreme resentment--who wouldn't?

Emotionally healthy people wouldn't. I know people who have had family members die due to someone else (drunk drivers, etc.) and yet they seem to carry less resentment than you do toward the poor puppy.

I think you are a troll, though. In either case, talk to a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:dogs on stairs while walking down is a very common injury. not the dogs fault and based on your experience, i am, surprised you are mentioning the other issues you are having, all very normal dog behavior especially with another dog to play with.

training training training but you sound resigned to get rid of him, i hope he ends up in a better home.

OP here. It would have been one thing if I fell down the stairs and broke a bone or something, and the bone healed and that was the end of it. The injury I got however is not one that will ever resolve or heal, a real freak accident. That's the part that really upsets me, I will have to deal with this injury every minute of every day and I'm resentful. It's almost like I was rear-ended in a car accident and developed permanent neck pain or something that would never go away. In that instance I would be extremely resentful of the driver who caused the accident.

It's normal to be upset but I'm not sure it's healthy to feel "extreme resent" towards the puppy or the driver. I agree with everyone that you should rehome the puppy but I think you should also consider talking to a counselor to help you work through your emotions about the injury.

OP here. I do have a therapist but have not discussed my feelings about the injury with her. Maybe I should. I don't know how I would ever "get over it" though. The injury I sustained causes me problems all day. Of course I would feel extreme resentment--who wouldn't?

You get over it by taking personal responsibility. You should always hold the railing going up or down stairs. It is mandatory at the company I work for and it is a good habit to get into.