Most annoying modern parenting lingo

[Anonymous]

About "use your words": my SIL used to be a child psychologist for the school system in Boston, doing home visits with very, very, very troubled pre-schoolers. One of these pre-schoolers hit her during one such visit. She told him to "use his words." So he turned to her and said, "OK. Go f*** yourself". That much for "using your words."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

On the same topic, "boobie," and "boob" all the time about nursing. "Do you want more boobie, little baby?" "Oh my baby loves The Boob." Oy yoy yoy, it's milk.

OP here -- I am guilty of this one. I would say they are not the same, though -- my baby likes milk, but has a strong preference for the boob. See, e.g., the bottle wars. Of course I say that in private with DH and to my mom, but that's about it.

I do hate "boobies," "num nums" and just about all the words that toddlers can use to say they want to breastfeed. Maybe because of my personal (lack of) comfort level with whipping out the boob for a toddler, but whatever, I'm prejudiced.

[Anonymous]

Here's what I hate : using "we" to refer to where your child is in school, as in "we are at Norwood" (not to pick on Norwood, but I usually hear the reference for private schools). Is there any reason not to just say "Johnny goes to Norwood"?

[Anonymous]

I have a pet peeve about people who make an issue out of daycare vs school or childcare worker vs teacher. I have a nanny but I seem to be the only mom I know with one who doesn't look down on daycare. These are the moms who are annoyed at the use of school or teachers. If the place calls itself a school and the teachers call themselves teachers then the parents are not trying to pretend it is something else other than gasp horrid daycare by using the appropriate terms.

Its almost worse than the epidural vs natural or EBF vs formula thing. Any situation SAH, nanny, or daycare has pros and cons they simply offer different things and frankly the kids all come out no better or worse in the end anyway.

The next time my neighbor brings over her two and half year old and the child start talking about the project she did in school, I will make a point of correcting her. The kid is only two so it may be difficult to fully explain how she goes to daycare aka child containment center and her teachers are actually custodial care workers but I'll give it a shot for all of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Attachment parenting." As if there were any other kind.

There are other kinds... CIO, for example, is not attachment parenting...

Actually, CIO is also a gross misnomer. Ferber et alia never advocated "crying it out."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

On the same topic, "boobie," and "boob" all the time about nursing. "Do you want more boobie, little baby?" "Oh my baby loves The Boob." Oy yoy yoy, it's milk.

OP here -- I am guilty of this one. I would say they are not the same, though -- my baby likes milk, but has a strong preference for the boob. See, e.g., the bottle wars. Of course I say that in private with DH and to my mom, but that's about it.

I do hate "boobies," "num nums" and just about all the words that toddlers can use to say they want to breastfeed. Maybe because of my personal (lack of) comfort level with whipping out the boob for a toddler, but whatever, I'm prejudiced.

There's nothing new or modern about this. Is this just becoming an all purpose complaint thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a pet peeve about people who make an issue out of daycare vs school or childcare worker vs teacher. I have a nanny but I seem to be the only mom I know with one who doesn't look down on daycare. These are the moms who are annoyed at the use of school or teachers. If the place calls itself a school and the teachers call themselves teachers then the parents are not trying to pretend it is something else other than gasp horrid daycare by using the appropriate terms.

Its almost worse than the epidural vs natural or EBF vs formula thing. Any situation SAH, nanny, or daycare has pros and cons they simply offer different things and frankly the kids all come out no better or worse in the end anyway.

The next time my neighbor brings over her two and half year old and the child start talking about the project she did in school, I will make a point of correcting her. The kid is only two so it may be difficult to fully explain how she goes to daycare aka child containment center and her teachers are actually custodial care workers but I'll give it a shot for all of you.

I appreciate it. My 2yo saw school buses on the street and schools in his book, so when he started daycare he called it school. He runs around in the morning saying, "Yay, school time!" Here I was happy he's so excited to go. Certainly never crossed my mind that it was this huge problem that I must correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Positive discipline. IMO discipline isn't supposed to be a positive experience.

Positive discipline is teaching children to do the right thing. Negative discipline is punishment.

Right! Children who are misbehaving sometimes need to be punished. The result of misbehavior should not be something positive.

Is there a phrase for this new approach to parenting -- the one that has to put a positive spin on most everything? Whatever that term is would be on my list of most annoying.

Positive discipline is not lingo, it's not a phrase. It's actually a term of art for a particular discipline method (which actually does not include punishment. The entire point of positive discipline is that punishment only creates short-term solutions, not long term). I'm not saying you can't hate the term of art, or that you can't disagree with the method, but it's not "lingo"

[Anonymous]

What drive me nuts is the term "friends" when used to describe any other child my kid interacts with (my husband is guilty of this, so are the "teachers"). He doesn't have to be friends with everyone he meets. He has to be considerate of the other kids, but he doesn't have to be friends. It especially bothered me when my son was in a not-so-good preschool where the other kids were often mean. Why should he think they are his friends?

[Anonymous]

I'm still trying to figure out the natural consequences of taking my daughter to school in her princess dress (she doesn't want to change into school - I mean, daycare - clothes.) She would be delighted to wear her dress all day. What would positive discipline - I mean, parenting - tell me to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a pet peeve about people who make an issue out of daycare vs school or childcare worker vs teacher. I have a nanny but I seem to be the only mom I know with one who doesn't look down on daycare. These are the moms who are annoyed at the use of school or teachers. If the place calls itself a school and the teachers call themselves teachers then the parents are not trying to pretend it is something else other than gasp horrid daycare by using the appropriate terms.

Its almost worse than the epidural vs natural or EBF vs formula thing. Any situation SAH, nanny, or daycare has pros and cons they simply offer different things and frankly the kids all come out no better or worse in the end anyway.

The next time my neighbor brings over her two and half year old and the child start talking about the project she did in school, I will make a point of correcting her. The kid is only two so it may be difficult to fully explain how she goes to daycare aka child containment center and her teachers are actually custodial care workers but I'll give it a shot for all of you.

My new pet peeve:

Parents who can't figure out how to say daycare to a toddler. And FYI... my child goes to daycare. The person who looks after her during the day is Shelley. It's simple. She doesn't have a nanny, doesn't go to school and doesn't have a teacher. Her older cousin (6 years old) has those things.

Funny, I never picked up on the 2 & 3 year olds who go to school until I read this thread.

My previous pet peeves were pretty simple and didn't involve lingo so much as continuing the baby talk when kids were old enough to say the real word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Positive discipline. IMO discipline isn't supposed to be a positive experience.

Positive discipline is teaching children to do the right thing. Negative discipline is punishment.

Right! Children who are misbehaving sometimes need to be punished. The result of misbehavior should not be something positive.

Is there a phrase for this new approach to parenting -- the one that has to put a positive spin on most everything? Whatever that term is would be on my list of most annoying.

Positive discipline doesn't mean the child thrown a tantrum and you hand him a lollipop. Natural consequences are often considered "positive discipline." The term may be new (and not one I'd choose to use), but the approach isn't.

"Natural consequences" sounds like we are willing to let circumstances handle the situation but we are unwilling to establish those consequences ourselves. If my child is bad to other kids, the natural consequence is that he ends up friendless. I think it's better that he face my consequences before that happens. Of course I am going to teach him the right thing, but I am going to punish him if he hurts other children.

This is a strawman. No one advocates for allowing a child to hurt other children. But if my child wants to run around at supper time, I won't ignore it but neither will I turn it into a battle of wills. I could punish him, try to force him to eat, or let him suffer the "natural consequence" of skipping supper - he's hungry at bedtime.

[Anonymous]

re: daycare is not school, and if Bright Horizons calls itself a school for 9 mo old babies by golly so should -you- ...

if your office started announcing that it was to be called "a party" from now on, would that actually make it a party? As in, I'm so tired from my party today? If your Methodist church started calling itself a sports bar, does that actually make it a sports bar?

Infants that shit themselves, have 4 teeth and can't say more than 2 words do not attend school. It's really simple.

The 2.5 yo situation is different, possibly.

[Anonymous]

PP

It never really occurred to me to be bothered really by the school reference for daycare but it does bother my 6 year old niece. She sees a difference. I wonder if perhaps what at one time used to be nursery school is now daycare, or maybe playschool.

Pardon the thinking.. go back to your discussion.

[Anonymous]

NP here. haven't read through the whole thread yet, but here is my #1 most annoying modern parenting lingo:

babywearing and its even more evil twin, the phrase "wear your baby." ugggggggh!! as if your baby was an accessory. or some awesome vintage blouse you just picked up and can't wait to show off. i hate it.