Two Sarahs: new motherhood in Sweden vs Seattle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This article was a little annoying - it painted a VERY rosy picture of being a working mother in Sweden and a VERY dismal picture of being a working mother in the U.S.

For comparison - my friends in Europe (a few different countries, including one in Sweden) say that as a woman in your late 20s/early 30s, it's hard to get a job because people are worried that you'll get pregnant and leave for a year, meaning they'll have to find and hire a temporary replacement which is really hard.

And most working women that read the Harvard Business Review are not in the US woman's situation. A lot of professional women are eligible for FMLA and get 6-10 weeks paid through disability insurance (not everyone, that's why I said a lot). A lot of women (even those of us in this area where childcare is a nightmare) are able to figure something out (but yes, for many, it IS prohibitively expensive). And the weird dumping work on the new mom thing also doesn't happen t everyone. I"m not saying that the description for her was not realistic, I know there are a lot of people who have it that bad or worse, but it's also a worst case scenario, don't you think?

Eligible for a whole 10 paid weeks!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on what you want and what your education level is. For a highly educated person, you can probably get more here and negotiate a better salary and work life balance. If you are sort of mediocre in terms of skills, then sweden is probably better.

Hahahahaha, you clearly don't know anything about Sweden, the Swedish economy, and the caliber of people who work there. A few companies started in Sweden that you may have heard of...IKEA, H&M, Spotify, Skype, Brio (people here love their trains), Tetrapak (look at the boxes your food or drinks come in are from this company)....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This article was a little annoying - it painted a VERY rosy picture of being a working mother in Sweden and a VERY dismal picture of being a working mother in the U.S.

For comparison - my friends in Europe (a few different countries, including one in Sweden) say that as a woman in your late 20s/early 30s, it's hard to get a job because people are worried that you'll get pregnant and leave for a year, meaning they'll have to find and hire a temporary replacement which is really hard.

And most working women that read the Harvard Business Review are not in the US woman's situation. A lot of professional women are eligible for FMLA and get 6-10 weeks paid through disability insurance (not everyone, that's why I said a lot). A lot of women (even those of us in this area where childcare is a nightmare) are able to figure something out (but yes, for many, it IS prohibitively expensive). And the weird dumping work on the new mom thing also doesn't happen t everyone. I"m not saying that the description for her was not realistic, I know there are a lot of people who have it that bad or worse, but it's also a worst case scenario, don't you think?

Eligible for a whole 10 paid weeks!!!!

Listen, I would MUCH prefer to live in Sweden than here, and have those maternity policies over our shitty ass ones, I'm just saying that the article went to the extreme on both sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Scandinavia--great if you are white, native-born Scandinavian entitled to all these benefits. Not great otherwise.

And...you think it's any better in the U.S. for non-white people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather be in the USA and choose to work for a company with work life balance if that's what I desire in my life versus being forced to subsidize Sarah Sweden.

+ 1

If you are middle class or higher, living standards are much higher in the US than in Europe. And the baby stage is a short period in life, relatively speaking.

I've been middle class in Europe and really enjoyed my lifestyle. Are you comparing things house size and car size? Because I don't care about those things, and the culture in many European countries is such that people don't care about the size of their house/car/etc. I loved our little thatched roof cottage, I loved being able to walk to the grocery store and shops, knowing my neighbors, I loved the green spaces around us, that the kids were all always outside playing. I had private medical insurance (yes, you can still get this in many parts of Europe!), so I was able to see whatever doctors I wanted and paid far less than I would have here (plus they were much more transparent about costs). My working hours and vacation time were amazing compared to here. I would really LOVE to hear what you think is better here other than the size of things and the availability of processed foods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This article was a little annoying - it painted a VERY rosy picture of being a working mother in Sweden and a VERY dismal picture of being a working mother in the U.S.

For comparison - my friends in Europe (a few different countries, including one in Sweden) say that as a woman in your late 20s/early 30s, it's hard to get a job because people are worried that you'll get pregnant and leave for a year, meaning they'll have to find and hire a temporary replacement which is really hard.

And most working women that read the Harvard Business Review are not in the US woman's situation. A lot of professional women are eligible for FMLA and get 6-10 weeks paid through disability insurance (not everyone, that's why I said a lot). A lot of women (even those of us in this area where childcare is a nightmare) are able to figure something out (but yes, for many, it IS prohibitively expensive). And the weird dumping work on the new mom thing also doesn't happen t everyone. I"m not saying that the description for her was not realistic, I know there are a lot of people who have it that bad or worse, but it's also a worst case scenario, don't you think?

Eligible for a whole 10 paid weeks!!!!

Yeah cause there’s nothing better than the feeling of dropping your baby off at daycare when he can’t even sit up. US maternity policies are inhumane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on what you want and what your education level is. For a highly educated person, you can probably get more here and negotiate a better salary and work life balance. If you are sort of mediocre in terms of skills, then sweden is probably better.

Hahahahaha, you clearly don't know anything about Sweden, the Swedish economy, and the caliber of people who work there. A few companies started in Sweden that you may have heard of...IKEA, H&M, Spotify, Skype, Brio (people here love their trains), Tetrapak (look at the boxes your food or drinks come in are from this company)....

Yup. And for some reason they rank among the highest in the world on the happiness scale. Could it be because they are supported in having children and don’t have to fear poverty and being separated from their infants before they’re ready?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather be in the USA and choose to work for a company with work life balance if that's what I desire in my life versus being forced to subsidize Sarah Sweden.

Oh look at you cute MAGA lady.

Oh right, it's all about choice in the U.S. Hmm, which shitty health care option should I choose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather be in the USA and choose to work for a company with work life balance if that's what I desire in my life versus being forced to subsidize Sarah Sweden.

+ 1

If you are middle class or higher, living standards are much higher in the US than in Europe. And the baby stage is a short period in life, relatively speaking.

I've been middle class in Europe and really enjoyed my lifestyle. Are you comparing things house size and car size? Because I don't care about those things, and the culture in many European countries is such that people don't care about the size of their house/car/etc. I loved our little thatched roof cottage, I loved being able to walk to the grocery store and shops, knowing my neighbors, I loved the green spaces around us, that the kids were all always outside playing. I had private medical insurance (yes, you can still get this in many parts of Europe!), so I was able to see whatever doctors I wanted and paid far less than I would have here (plus they were much more transparent about costs). My working hours and vacation time were amazing compared to here. I would really LOVE to hear what you think is better here other than the size of things and the availability of processed foods.

In the USA you can drive a giant Navigator or Suburban or whatever and that makes the anxiety and isolation worth it somehow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather be in the USA and choose to work for a company with work life balance if that's what I desire in my life versus being forced to subsidize Sarah Sweden.

Oh look at you cute MAGA lady.

I wonder if maga idiot got sick and had to take a leave of absence would Sarah Sweeden be mad she had to subsiduze him?

[Anonymous]

Pay for your own damn kids and leave.

[Anonymous]

While the policies in Sweden sound awesome and amazing, let's remember that Sweden also has very high taxes and a tightly closed border and strictly enforced immigration policies.

We have a whole different set of issues to deal with here in the U.S. I'm not saying we are dealing well with them...just saying that you can't compare apples to oranges. We have a lot of room for improvement on this issue, but it's not like Sweden's way is a magic potion.

Any solution for the US would need to be tailored to our particular set of challenges we have-which are different than Sweden's.

[Anonymous]

I actively dislike the society Americans have to live in. I vote for policies to change that society but our system sucks so nothing changes. We don't have the financial resources to leave and we having aging parents who we help and help us with child care.

I do thank our lucky stars that we are middle class and doing ok. Luckier than most. And I appreciate the larger child tax credit. Thats all we can hope for as Americans. A tax refund.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women do get hired into permanent positions. Small and mid sized companies are hesitant, but women are employed by these despite the long maternity leave.
The difference is that poor women can stay home, whereas here that is a privilege afforded to the married and wealthy
The other side of the story is that a man's salary often is not enough to support a family

It is not a wonderland. The weather is awful. You cannot fix that.
If being Swedish is your thing, then it is good.
If you feel alien or foreign, it will not be your home and you will be miserable

Have you been to Sweden? Yes the winter is colder than DC but it’s also beautiful and the summers are spectacular. I have two friends from grad school who married Swedish men and who have relocated there. They said it’s a much better place to raise small children than the north east area of the US where they grew up.

November

No, it is not spectacular. At least not for me. I need to see the sun year round. I need to see flowers year round
The climate makes people moody, rude to strangers, melancholic

I was not in Sweden, but the country next door. Not for me, thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather be in the USA and choose to work for a company with work life balance if that's what I desire in my life versus being forced to subsidize Sarah Sweden.

Oh look at you cute MAGA lady.

Oh right, it's all about choice in the U.S. Hmm, which shitty health care option should I choose?

So many choices!

98% are unaffordable, and the one option I can afford doesn’t let me keep my doctor. Don’t you just love choices?