If you have 11-/12-year old boys who DON'T play Fortnite/video game all the time -- what do they do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you, OP, it is so tough. I believe this is why many kids are "over-scheduled" with sports/music/club/etc activities -- because parents are trying to keep them off the darn video games and phones. I'm a high school teacher, and when the high schoolers are "hanging out" with one another, they are really just watching videos and looking at social media on their phones. So I don't think the problem goes away in high school. Maybe the teens are not playing video games like Minecraft and Fortnite anymore, but they sure aren't getting any less "screen time."

I have what you would call an overscheduled kid. We'd love that they do less but his choice and we will support it. It has nothing to do with video games or phones. I am more flexible because they do so much every day and aren't just sitting home. Mine would do more if we agreed but we are going 6 nights a week and one day two activities.

I'm not saying that over-scheduling is a bad thing; I am just giving a reason for why it occurs. It certainly helps keep kids off of video games and social media. I do it with my own middle schoolers. They have soccer and tennis and swimming and after school clubs. I limit video games to 2-3 hours on the weekends and not much of it at all during the week. My kids are used to it, though I would prefer to not have to regulate.

How is overscheduling NOT a bad thing?

[Anonymous]

Youth orchestra, dog-walking and pet-sitting business, soccer, homework, cooking, playing cards with friends and us, chores, volunteering, church youth group activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you, OP, it is so tough. I believe this is why many kids are "over-scheduled" with sports/music/club/etc activities -- because parents are trying to keep them off the darn video games and phones. I'm a high school teacher, and when the high schoolers are "hanging out" with one another, they are really just watching videos and looking at social media on their phones. So I don't think the problem goes away in high school. Maybe the teens are not playing video games like Minecraft and Fortnite anymore, but they sure aren't getting any less "screen time."

I have what you would call an overscheduled kid. We'd love that they do less but his choice and we will support it. It has nothing to do with video games or phones. I am more flexible because they do so much every day and aren't just sitting home. Mine would do more if we agreed but we are going 6 nights a week and one day two activities.

I'm not saying that over-scheduling is a bad thing; I am just giving a reason for why it occurs. It certainly helps keep kids off of video games and social media. I do it with my own middle schoolers. They have soccer and tennis and swimming and after school clubs. I limit video games to 2-3 hours on the weekends and not much of it at all during the week. My kids are used to it, though I would prefer to not have to regulate.

How is overscheduling NOT a bad thing?

For some kids it is not a bad thing, for others it's is.

[Anonymous]

It's fine if some kids if they truly want to and parents allow it, that they be a bit busier and have a bit more in the way of activities. But, even still I would never allow for my kids to be overscheduled until they reached high school age and I can't really do much about it. I think kids do need to be bored and manage free time. They need to learn to entertain themselves with and without screens. Kids as young as the OP and even a few years older need to be about playing with friends and being kids. Screen time can happen and isn't the devil, but it shouldn't be all that kids do or even want to do.

[Anonymous]

Plays outside (basketball, soccer, baseball, wiffleball, football, anything!), reads, plays foosball or ping pong or pop a shot in basement, cooks/bakes, bothers his brother, walks dog, manages fantasy sports teams...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
How is overscheduling NOT a bad thing?

PP here. I'm not giving an opinion on whether it is good or bad. I'm just saying that many people schedule lots of activities for their kids to keep them from having too much free time to play video games and get sucked into their phones for hours at a time.

[Anonymous]

TV, homework, reads, bikes, sports. It's an endless tirade of how we are terrible parents for not having video games, but we just don't. I just can't manage any more technology learning curves. I'm done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
How is overscheduling NOT a bad thing?

PP here. I'm not giving an opinion on whether it is good or bad. I'm just saying that many people schedule lots of activities for their kids to keep them from having too much free time to play video games and get sucked into their phones for hours at a time.

I was just responding to a poster who said im not saying that there is anything wrong with overscheduling.

[Anonymous]

You might want to institute a no-screens rule for M-Th. That's what we do, but then so long as they get their HW/instrument practicing done, they can have at it Friday night, Saturday, and until dinner on Sunday. Because it's sort of binge-y, they get sick of it by midday Saturday, and because they remember shooting baskets on Tuesday was sort of fun, they are more willing to stop then...

Good luck. For most kids it's a phase, but I feel you on worrying about raising a lifelong gamer who won't leave your basement. We've found strict no media (that means TV, video games on computers or phones) weekdays do help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine do Robluox and Minecraft but absolutely no Fortnite.

They do homework, sports, music lessons and practice, read, play with toys (but not as much now), we go out to eat, hang out, help us with what we are doing.

And, when someone calls we don't want to talk to we force them to do it.

hahahaha! Love this. YES!

[Anonymous]

My 12 yo DD's best friend is a boy and he lives with us now after he met unfortunate circumstances. Neither of them are really into video games at all. They prefer playing outside at doing more practical things together like cooking/baking, drawing, homework and growing plants is a particular favorite of theirs.