If you have 11-/12-year old boys who DON'T play Fortnite/video game all the time -- what do they do?

[Anonymous]

My 13.5 year old son doesn't play Fortnite or other games at all. He went through a phase around age 11 and then that was it.

He
-plays a ton of pick-up basketball
-plays on sports teams year round including a travel team that ramps up significantly in spring and fall. Takes additional private lessons weekly.
-play the piano and practices on occasion.
-cooks and bakes
-watches videos on youtube

[Anonymous]

13 year old son....and 19 year old that had similar teen years before he started college.


Rides bike
skateboards
plays basketball in driveway
practices soccer skills with "Dribble Up" ball when the weather is bad
Builds rubber band shooters with K'Nex
Builds with Legos
Pet sits and walks dog next door.
Uses money earned from above to pay for materials to build his own longboard which he just finished
Baking or learning how to make pasta (not successful at the pasta so far)
Learning to play guitar
practice piano (under duress)
Drawing/sketching using books on techniques taken out of library
Practices simple carpentry skills (sanding/clear coating etc)
Travel soccer
Reading about dogs and dog training methods, specifically police dogs.


I could go on, but you get the idea. I would hate for my kids to have missed out on learning about so many things they could end up loving because they were too focused on video games. They enjoyed so many other things......I'm sure I will get blasted for this but to me, it's a sad life to be playing video games as part of childhood.

[Anonymous]

No video games ever in our home. Never let it start. They read and do active things.

[Anonymous]

Mine do Robluox and Minecraft but absolutely no Fortnite.

They do homework, sports, music lessons and practice, read, play with toys (but not as much now), we go out to eat, hang out, help us with what we are doing.

And, when someone calls we don't want to talk to we force them to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:13 year old son....and 19 year old that had similar teen years before he started college.


Rides bike
skateboards
plays basketball in driveway
practices soccer skills with "Dribble Up" ball when the weather is bad
Builds rubber band shooters with K'Nex
Builds with Legos
Pet sits and walks dog next door.
Uses money earned from above to pay for materials to build his own longboard which he just finished
Baking or learning how to make pasta (not successful at the pasta so far)
Learning to play guitar
practice piano (under duress)
Drawing/sketching using books on techniques taken out of library
Practices simple carpentry skills (sanding/clear coating etc)
Travel soccer
Reading about dogs and dog training methods, specifically police dogs.


I could go on, but you get the idea. I would hate for my kids to have missed out on learning about so many things they could end up loving because they were too focused on video games. They enjoyed so many other things......I'm sure I will get blasted for this but to me, it's a sad life to be playing video games as part of childhood.

+1 it is really sad. I will never understand how this became a thing. As parents, deep down we all know it is a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

We struggle with this too. One of my boys in particular is way more susceptible to Fortnite than the others. It's just how he is. I actually went to a child psychologist and asked for advice. We have implemented the advice and I have to say it has helped.

Don't ban the games (Fortnite is our big problem). We had done off and on banning in the past. She said banning doesn't teach restraint and, in the end, doesn't help.
Make them earn the xbox time and then they can figure out how to "spend" the time. We assigned an "xbuck" to certain activities. If they complete these activities during the week, they can apply the xbucks to the xbox over the weekend. We don't include Minecraft in this plan because they still do four-player Minecraft with their friends and we think that's good.

They don't get xbucks for performing their regular responsibilities, like chores, homework, etc. But, they do get xbucks for extra piano practice, extra reading, and sometimes even randomly if I ask them to do something and they get up and do it without complaining.

I didn't think the system would help because of my youngest appears to have an addictive personality. It seems, however, to help him regulate his time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine do Robluox and Minecraft but absolutely no Fortnite.

They do homework, sports, music lessons and practice, read, play with toys (but not as much now), we go out to eat, hang out, help us with what we are doing.

And, when someone calls we don't want to talk to we force them to do it.

+1 and rubies cube competitions, game club at school, karate, school musical. There is SO much to do not on a screen.

[Anonymous]

I posted earlier but agree with the poster who leaves toys and stuff around. I leave building toys, puzzles, and science kits around and the kids will eventually settle down and play with them for extended periods.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you, OP, it is so tough. I believe this is why many kids are "over-scheduled" with sports/music/club/etc activities -- because parents are trying to keep them off the darn video games and phones. I'm a high school teacher, and when the high schoolers are "hanging out" with one another, they are really just watching videos and looking at social media on their phones. So I don't think the problem goes away in high school. Maybe the teens are not playing video games like Minecraft and Fortnite anymore, but they sure aren't getting any less "screen time."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you, OP, it is so tough. I believe this is why many kids are "over-scheduled" with sports/music/club/etc activities -- because parents are trying to keep them off the darn video games and phones. I'm a high school teacher, and when the high schoolers are "hanging out" with one another, they are really just watching videos and looking at social media on their phones. So I don't think the problem goes away in high school. Maybe the teens are not playing video games like Minecraft and Fortnite anymore, but they sure aren't getting any less "screen time."

I have what you would call an overscheduled kid. We'd love that they do less but his choice and we will support it. It has nothing to do with video games or phones. I am more flexible because they do so much every day and aren't just sitting home. Mine would do more if we agreed but we are going 6 nights a week and one day two activities.

[Anonymous]

Homework, Minecraft, Podcasts, Youtube videos, reading, religious school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you, OP, it is so tough. I believe this is why many kids are "over-scheduled" with sports/music/club/etc activities -- because parents are trying to keep them off the darn video games and phones. I'm a high school teacher, and when the high schoolers are "hanging out" with one another, they are really just watching videos and looking at social media on their phones. So I don't think the problem goes away in high school. Maybe the teens are not playing video games like Minecraft and Fortnite anymore, but they sure aren't getting any less "screen time."

I have what you would call an overscheduled kid. We'd love that they do less but his choice and we will support it. It has nothing to do with video games or phones. I am more flexible because they do so much every day and aren't just sitting home. Mine would do more if we agreed but we are going 6 nights a week and one day two activities.

I'm not saying that over-scheduling is a bad thing; I am just giving a reason for why it occurs. It certainly helps keep kids off of video games and social media. I do it with my own middle schoolers. They have soccer and tennis and swimming and after school clubs. I limit video games to 2-3 hours on the weekends and not much of it at all during the week. My kids are used to it, though I would prefer to not have to regulate.

[Anonymous]

DS, 12

Screen time is still relegated to Friday after school - Sunday. He’s playing less Fortnite lately, kids are all back on Pokémon Go.

I don’t let him melt his brain over those 2.5 days, it’s regulated.

Other activities as an example:
Legos
Reading/books
Baseball (thank goodness it’s spring)
Drawing
Running/hiking
Basketball
Play dates
Chores
Skateboarding

Sunday morning is homework time period (work ahead on the coming week, weekend projects etc) before any screen time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:13 year old son....and 19 year old that had similar teen years before he started college.


Rides bike
skateboards
plays basketball in driveway
practices soccer skills with "Dribble Up" ball when the weather is bad
Builds rubber band shooters with K'Nex
Builds with Legos
Pet sits and walks dog next door.
Uses money earned from above to pay for materials to build his own longboard which he just finished
Baking or learning how to make pasta (not successful at the pasta so far)
Learning to play guitar
practice piano (under duress)
Drawing/sketching using books on techniques taken out of library
Practices simple carpentry skills (sanding/clear coating etc)
Travel soccer
Reading about dogs and dog training methods, specifically police dogs.


I could go on, but you get the idea. I would hate for my kids to have missed out on learning about so many things they could end up loving because they were too focused on video games. They enjoyed so many other things......I'm sure I will get blasted for this but to me, it's a sad life to be playing video games as part of childhood.

+1 it is really sad. I will never understand how this became a thing. As parents, deep down we all know it is a bad idea.

My kids do these things too ... and sometimes play video games. They aren't the ones missing out on something.

[Anonymous]

What age does this start? I have an almost 10 year old. He likes drawing, piano, chess, football and tv. The only video games we have are retro Nintendo.