If you have 11-/12-year old boys who DON'T play Fortnite/video game all the time -- what do they do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Homework, travel soccer, watches sports on TV. I much prefer this over games.

+1. DS (11) would much rather watch sports on TV than play video games. When he does play games (mostly with friends) they are always sports games. During the week he is super busy with homework, travel sports, school play, musical instrument, Hebrew school, and even (gasp!) reading. At most he plays for maybe an hour on the weekend. For playdates, I limit video games to 45-60 minutes. The rest of the time he plays basketball or football with his friends outside.

[Anonymous]

shoots hoops.

[Anonymous]

homework, reading for pleasure, swimming, learning python and designing and maintaining websites.

[Anonymous]

We were advised not to get it so we didn't.DH has a brother who had some video game addiction and these things have a genetic component. He can play at other kid's houses because we teach our kids to follow the rules of the house. It was only a big deal to him in 6th. Now in 7th (Jr. High where we are) some kids have grown out of it or are too busy. Kids rarely talk about it at school. They get a ton of homework and DS plays a sport and does other activities. He has a classmate in a few classes who is brilliant, but a video game addict (even downloading games at school). DS sees how many problems it causes for this kid and he doesn't want to be like him.

[Anonymous]

At 12 and 13, that's pretty much what he did. It did not turn him into a lifelong video game addict or antisocial shut in.

In high school, he got into music, practiced his instrument a lot, played with 4 different groups, hung out with different groups of friends, had girlfriends, etc. He didn't particularly care when the gaming computer he built at 13 or 14 basically blew up.

[Anonymous]

Roller hockey in the street
Basketball in the driveway
Skateboarding
Trampoline
Going down to the nearby school and playing at their playground
Random games of catch/games with a ball
Card games

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 12 and 13, that's pretty much what he did. It did not turn him into a lifelong video game addict or antisocial shut in.

In high school, he got into music, practiced his instrument a lot, played with 4 different groups, hung out with different groups of friends, had girlfriends, etc. He didn't particularly care when the gaming computer he built at 13 or 14 basically blew up.

Still waiting for it to happen here. DS is 15 and there is no end to video games in sight.

[Anonymous]

We don't have video games and the kids don’t have cell phones - ages 15, 13, 10 and 8 yrs. my boys are really into sling shots at the moment and more importantly making catchboxes for them and squirreling away lids and cans for potential targets. Besides team sports they play baseball in the yard or the cages at the local high school. My daughter loves to play with our dog, draw, good around outside. They all love to ride bikes, cook, climb trees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:homework, reading for pleasure, swimming, learning python and designing and maintaining websites.

Fortnight is similar to “learning python”... but it sounds better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 12 and 13, that's pretty much what he did. It did not turn him into a lifelong video game addict or antisocial shut in.

In high school, he got into music, practiced his instrument a lot, played with 4 different groups, hung out with different groups of friends, had girlfriends, etc. He didn't particularly care when the gaming computer he built at 13 or 14 basically blew up.

Same here. We have a 9th grade boy and use of Fortnite and video game playing among his friend in general has plummeted. He has a lot of homework, practices a lot, hangs out with friends, arranges social outings with people, etc. He still plays sometimes but it has pretty clearly lost its allure for the most part. Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is really disconcerting. "Don't worry, they'll be overscheduled soon enough." So kids are either entertained by very high-stimulation, designed-to-be-addictive games (which also have some positive qualities!) or they have adults filling up their time with structured activities? When do they learn how to manage lives at a normal pace?

You do it your way, and we do it our way. How about that? Video game is a phase for our kids. Once they realize that it doesn't have to be a way of life, they don't resort to it. That's our theory and it frankly has worked for our kids. So to teach their own.

If my whole life as a kid would be screens, homework, activities and nothibg else i would have been miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DP

I don't have any illusions about the good old days either. I spent most of my childhood watching TV and I don't think that was better. And I don't think playing video games for multiple hours a day is a great idea either, so now what? Am I allowed to say most kids should spend more unstructured time off of screens or is that mom shaming?

No illusions either, but i don't kids really spent tons of time on screens back in the day. But i will say it was one heck of a great childhood

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you, this is why I’m still resisting allowing my 10 year old to get it. He’s not good at self regulating yet.

How about you have him earn fortnite time with chores And/or physical activity. So...he comes home, does any homework he has, then he does a chore for you, shoots baskets or walks the dog or kicks a soccer ball around for 20-30 minutes and then if there’s time he can play. Then there’s a hard shut down of electronics at a certain time of night.

Your first paragraph is ridiculous. You don't "wait until they're old enough to self-regulate." You start them on video games at birth, so that they learn to self-regulate! That's how it works! Same with allowance (maybe wait until they're 2 or 3 and not putting everything in their mouths), coffee, walking to school alone...

Ha, I’m the pp, and I love the “start them on video games at birth” My son DOES have access to video games (Nintendo switch on the weekends). He seriously zones out and doesn’t break from them well, even after a lot of time, even with strict rules about it. I’ve heard so much about the addictive value of fortnite, I’m just not ready for the fights.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has twenty somethings working for him. Work start time is 8:00 am. The young males have a tough time getting to work on time due to gaming all night. It is not uncommon for them to come into work at 9:00 - 11:00 am
late for their jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend has twenty somethings working for him. Work start time is 8:00 am. The young males have a tough time getting to work on time due to gaming all night. It is not uncommon for them to come into work at 9:00 - 11:00 am
late for their jobs.

Or they were out partying all night and are hung over.