If You Were An Older First Time Parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a 4 month old and are having sex 3-4 times a week? How on earth do you have energy or interest? That time for us was serious survival mode and I was still so incredibly sore.

OP here. I have a high sex drive and sex to me is a stress reliever. We have a super easy baby that sleeps 10-12 hours a night and is good napper. I only work part-time, and we have tons of family that helps out. I'm very pro putting my marriage first, and that includes regular sex. My husband is super helpful, even more so on the nights he wants to have sex. He does the night routine with the baby and helps clean out from dinner most nights. I think I would be less likely to want sex if we had a more difficult baby or my husband was less helpful. There are still plenty of days where I'm too tired for it.

Your child sounds like a unicorn.

OP here. He is but we sleep trained which helped with his sleeping.

He is little to be sleeping for such long stretches. I would seriously run that by his pediatrician. You don't want him to get low blood sugar from not feeding regularly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a 4 month old and are having sex 3-4 times a week? How on earth do you have energy or interest? That time for us was serious survival mode and I was still so incredibly sore.

OP here. I have a high sex drive and sex to me is a stress reliever. We have a super easy baby that sleeps 10-12 hours a night and is good napper. I only work part-time, and we have tons of family that helps out. I'm very pro putting my marriage first, and that includes regular sex. My husband is super helpful, even more so on the nights he wants to have sex. He does the night routine with the baby and helps clean out from dinner most nights. I think I would be less likely to want sex if we had a more difficult baby or my husband was less helpful. There are still plenty of days where I'm too tired for it.

Your child sounds like a unicorn.

OP here. He is but we sleep trained which helped with his sleeping.

He is little to be sleeping for such long stretches. I would seriously run that by his pediatrician. You don't want him to get low blood sugar from not feeding regularly.

OP here. His pediatrician is happy with his growth and said plenty of babies sleep through the night at this age. He eats plenty throughout the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a 4 month old and are having sex 3-4 times a week? How on earth do you have energy or interest? That time for us was serious survival mode and I was still so incredibly sore.

OP here. I have a high sex drive and sex to me is a stress reliever. We have a super easy baby that sleeps 10-12 hours a night and is good napper. I only work part-time, and we have tons of family that helps out. I'm very pro putting my marriage first, and that includes regular sex. My husband is super helpful, even more so on the nights he wants to have sex. He does the night routine with the baby and helps clean out from dinner most nights. I think I would be less likely to want sex if we had a more difficult baby or my husband was less helpful. There are still plenty of days where I'm too tired for it.

Your child sounds like a unicorn.

OP here. He is but we sleep trained which helped with his sleeping.

He is little to be sleeping for such long stretches. I would seriously run that by his pediatrician. You don't want him to get low blood sugar from not feeding regularly.

Former nanny and mom here. I have worked with several babies that were sleeping as long as OPs baby at night by that age. They were all fine. They just ate more frequently during the day to get their calories in. My baby isn't sleeping as long ( he's 3 months old) but does up to 8 hours stretches. His pediatrician said it was fine as long as he is gaining weight.

[Anonymous]

NP here. First child at 38, second at 44, with some losses in between. Frankly we had given up and were surprised when it finally did happen. Have a number of friends in a similar boat. The large age gap has worked really well, actually. I had been afraid they couldn't/wouldn't play well together, but they still do (teenager and elementary schooler now). And the big gap has allowed them to each have their own space. That said, if I were you, OP, and this is undoubtedly colored by my own medical experience, I would not wait. There is no ideal, there is just what you have, and you sound like a put together person who will be able to handle whatever comes along just fine.

[Anonymous]

Mine are just shy of 15 months apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a 4 month old and are having sex 3-4 times a week? How on earth do you have energy or interest? That time for us was serious survival mode and I was still so incredibly sore.

OP here. I have a high sex drive and sex to me is a stress reliever. We have a super easy baby that sleeps 10-12 hours a night and is good napper. I only work part-time, and we have tons of family that helps out. I'm very pro putting my marriage first, and that includes regular sex. My husband is super helpful, even more so on the nights he wants to have sex. He does the night routine with the baby and helps clean out from dinner most nights. I think I would be less likely to want sex if we had a more difficult baby or my husband was less helpful. There are still plenty of days where I'm too tired for it.

Your child sounds like a unicorn.

OP here. He is but we sleep trained which helped with his sleeping.

He is little to be sleeping for such long stretches. I would seriously run that by his pediatrician. You don't want him to get low blood sugar from not feeding regularly.

It’s really not. That age many babies should be sleeping up to 12 hours a night without feeding during the night.

[Anonymous]

First at 37, second just shy of 40.

2yr Gap is great. You’ll feel extremely guilty any closer. Let your oldest have the special time with you that you’ll never get back. I’d stick with your original plan. No closer than 18mo - ideally 24-36 months (out of crib, out of stroller, diapers etc)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a 4 month old and are having sex 3-4 times a week? How on earth do you have energy or interest? That time for us was serious survival mode and I was still so incredibly sore.

OP here. I have a high sex drive and sex to me is a stress reliever. We have a super easy baby that sleeps 10-12 hours a night and is good napper. I only work part-time, and we have tons of family that helps out. I'm very pro putting my marriage first, and that includes regular sex. My husband is super helpful, even more so on the nights he wants to have sex. He does the night routine with the baby and helps clean out from dinner most nights. I think I would be less likely to want sex if we had a more difficult baby or my husband was less helpful. There are still plenty of days where I'm too tired for it.

Your child sounds like a unicorn.

OP here. He is but we sleep trained which helped with his sleeping.

He is little to be sleeping for such long stretches. I would seriously run that by his pediatrician. You don't want him to get low blood sugar from not feeding regularly.

Former nanny and mom here. I have worked with several babies that were sleeping as long as OPs baby at night by that age. They were all fine. They just ate more frequently during the day to get their calories in. My baby isn't sleeping as long ( he's 3 months old) but does up to 8 hours stretches. His pediatrician said it was fine as long as he is gaining weight.

As long as the pediatrician is o.k. with it, then it's fine. My own babies were still getting up every 3 or 4 hours during the night at that age. I've also known people who were directed to wake their sleepy babies up to eat because they hadn't gotten big enough to go for long stretches without food. They are all different.

[Anonymous]

I was 34 and we didn't have a second.

[Anonymous]

I hope OP is ready for the 4 month sleep regression. And also the fun bouts of childhood illnesses that arrive when the child enters preschool or daycare and starts getting the flu, RSV, roseola, etc. And also the difficulties that arise when that sweet infant turns into a feisty, difficult two year old. My sister had a really easy infant like the OP so they decided to go for two under two and now he’s two and an absolute nightmare and she’s struggling. Easy babies don’t stay easy babies. But it sounds like with all the support and flexibility she has they will
be fine, many people can’t work part time and don’t have family to help them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope OP is ready for the 4 month sleep regression. And also the fun bouts of childhood illnesses that arrive when the child enters preschool or daycare and starts getting the flu, RSV, roseola, etc. And also the difficulties that arise when that sweet infant turns into a feisty, difficult two year old. My sister had a really easy infant like the OP so they decided to go for two under two and now he’s two and an absolute nightmare and she’s struggling. Easy babies don’t stay easy babies. But it sounds like with all the support and flexibility she has they will
be fine, many people can’t work part time and don’t have family to help them.

This is unnecessarily snarky for no reason. Not every child even goes through half of what you mentioned above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope OP is ready for the 4 month sleep regression. And also the fun bouts of childhood illnesses that arrive when the child enters preschool or daycare and starts getting the flu, RSV, roseola, etc. And also the difficulties that arise when that sweet infant turns into a feisty, difficult two year old. My sister had a really easy infant like the OP so they decided to go for two under two and now he’s two and an absolute nightmare and she’s struggling. Easy babies don’t stay easy babies. But it sounds like with all the support and flexibility she has they will
be fine, many people can’t work part time and don’t have family to help them.

This is unnecessarily snarky for no reason. Not every child even goes through half of what you mentioned above.

NP here. Really? I have yet to meet any child who hasn’t the flu or croup or fevers. Almost every child has easy and difficult ages. This is not controversial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope OP is ready for the 4 month sleep regression. And also the fun bouts of childhood illnesses that arrive when the child enters preschool or daycare and starts getting the flu, RSV, roseola, etc. And also the difficulties that arise when that sweet infant turns into a feisty, difficult two year old. My sister had a really easy infant like the OP so they decided to go for two under two and now he’s two and an absolute nightmare and she’s struggling. Easy babies don’t stay easy babies. But it sounds like with all the support and flexibility she has they will
be fine, many people can’t work part time and don’t have family to help them.

This is unnecessarily snarky for no reason. Not every child even goes through half of what you mentioned above.

NP here. Really? I have yet to meet any child who hasn’t the flu or croup or fevers. Almost every child has easy and difficult ages. This is not controversial.

I don’t know. My easy baby turned into an easy toddler and is now an easy 1st grader. She’s been sick, sure, and and has has a tendency to whine but her easy-going, roll-with-the-punches personality is generally delightful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a 4 month old and are having sex 3-4 times a week? How on earth do you have energy or interest? That time for us was serious survival mode and I was still so incredibly sore.

OP here. I have a high sex drive and sex to me is a stress reliever. We have a super easy baby that sleeps 10-12 hours a night and is good napper. I only work part-time, and we have tons of family that helps out. I'm very pro putting my marriage first, and that includes regular sex. My husband is super helpful, even more so on the nights he wants to have sex. He does the night routine with the baby and helps clean out from dinner most nights. I think I would be less likely to want sex if we had a more difficult baby or my husband was less helpful. There are still plenty of days where I'm too tired for it.

Sounds amazing, OP!! I'm sure you've already thought about this, but just know that it's very likely that your second will NOT be a unicorn baby. My first was a unicorn baby, the perfect toddler (no terrible 2s, no threenager, nothing like that until she was maybe 5 and exhausted from Kindergarten). BUT my second child had colic and didn't sleep for three months, and then had a medical issue and didn't sleep for another three months, and now is the sweetest preschooler ever but holy cow has a LOT of energy. She did potty train at 2 though

(anyway, I had my two at 37 and 40 and they really are both perfect and I had two easy pregnancies and I'm only now tired (at 44) because my kids both wake us up in the middle of the night because they have to pee and they never have to pee at the same time, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope OP is ready for the 4 month sleep regression. And also the fun bouts of childhood illnesses that arrive when the child enters preschool or daycare and starts getting the flu, RSV, roseola, etc. And also the difficulties that arise when that sweet infant turns into a feisty, difficult two year old. My sister had a really easy infant like the OP so they decided to go for two under two and now he’s two and an absolute nightmare and she’s struggling. Easy babies don’t stay easy babies. But it sounds like with all the support and flexibility she has they will
be fine, many people can’t work part time and don’t have family to help them.

This is unnecessarily snarky for no reason. Not every child even goes through half of what you mentioned above.

NP here. Really? I have yet to meet any child who hasn’t the flu or croup or fevers. Almost every child has easy and difficult ages. This is not controversial.

I don’t know. My easy baby turned into an easy toddler and is now an easy 1st grader. She’s been sick, sure, and and has has a tendency to whine but her easy-going, roll-with-the-punches personality is generally delightful.

I'm the PP who just wrote about my second not being as easy as my first, but my first is very similar to yours. Even my second, while high energy, is not a trouble maker.