Reminder about the purpose of the Kids with Special Needs Forum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If somebody is shopping around for a formal diagnosis that does not exist in the DSM-V, why is it offensive and inappropriate to point that?

You are making assumptions that I am not sure you are in a position to make. In any case, such posts have disrupted many threads without yielding any observable benefit. Please refrain from posting them.

Whether or not something exists (or does not exist) as a diagnosis in the DSM-5 is not an assumption. It’s a fact.

I’m a long-time consumer of this board as a source of information. If you censor factual information I’m not sure that does a great service.

But it’s your board and you set the rules.

Whether someone is "shopping around for a diagnosis" could only be an assumption unless the poster specifically told you that's what they are doing. I think parents deserve the benefit of the doubt that they are trying to do the best for their children. Similarly, forum moderators who have long track records of maintaining popular forums should not cavalierly be accused of censorship. You may want to give a bit more thought to your language choices.

Case in point. Somebody recently began a thread titled “auditory processing disorder,” and in the very first line of her thread she said she was seeking somebody who could test/diagnose auditory processing disorder.

Fact one: That person was seeking somebody who could test for/diagnose auditory processing disorder. She said so explicitly in the beginning of the post.

Fact two: Auditory Processing Disorder is NOT a diagnosis in the DSM-V.

Fact three: You removed my posting that noted APD is not a diagnosis.

Yep, and I hope that you have learned from the experience or you will find a lot more of your posts getting deleted.

In response to the OP you could recommend someone to do the evaluation or you could shut the hell up. Starting an off-topic hijack was not among the appropriate responses. It was exactly that thread that triggered this post.

As someone with a child diagnosed with apd and language based LDs, the thread got hijacked by an undisclosed merld mom. Apd is only diagnosed by audiologists. It’s not in the dsm. It’s used as a descriptor by kids on the spectrum and with kids with learning based LDs.

Then you get a poster claiming not sticking to topic by bringing up either LDs or ASD or adhd, but that is reality. These are linked to apd symptoms.
https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/auditory-processing-disorder
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1866407e1
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6158468/

Jeff, you don’t understand merld or special needs. You don’t know how to be objective. I will happily provide you with the mountains of testing my kid has gone through, plugs medical, plus academic.

If someone insists their kid isn’t on the spectrum, doesn’t have language based LDs or adhd, but they have ‘“language issues” they belong on the merld Facebook group and not here, because we in the dissent respect the science and evidence based interventions. We also vaccinate and understand that the brain and it’s lovely neural networks are complicated and related and there’s no shame in autism.

Language based LDs and autism and adhd have more similarities than differences. Some of us are trying to breakthrough the bs that some people try to pull on here.

Oh brother, give it up. Jeff was right to do what he did. If you disagree with someone, just present the facts. Don't assume the other person is a "MERLD Mom," or whatever. I personally have been accused of avoiding an autism diagnosis even though my kid does have autism. It's clear that such accusations are used as a substitute for substantive discussion of interest to OPs.

If you want to have a general discussion about APD, start a separate thread for it.

DP. I don't think I'd make half as many "have you assessed for autism" comments if I didn't IRL know someone actively avoiding the autism diagnosis for their (clearly autistic) child. It's hard to see.

So inappropriate. It is exhausting and heart-wrenching to suss out the right diagnosis and then fight for appropriate services. Peds screen for Asd more than anything else; it’s impossible to avoid. Everything else takes the equivalent of a part-time job to work through.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:Jeff,
how does one contact you with a question as I could not figure it it.

Click on this link and then fill out the form. It will go to Maria and me.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/contact-info

[Anonymous]

Thank you for addressing this.

I live in another part of the country, and this board used to be so helpful. I do not have the money for a neuropsychological exam for my child. We live in a rural area where resources are more scarce. (Special schools and group therapies are nonexistant and local practitioners have an outdated view of autism, adhd, etc.)

The two doctors we took my child to see agreed on one thing: "Treat the symptoms, not just the diagnosis." So if your child needs speech therapy due to adhd or autism or apraxia or a developmental delay or whatever, you get the child speech therapy.

Bickering online over the diagnosis often derails the OP, who need to understand how subjective this field can be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for addressing this.

I live in another part of the country, and this board used to be so helpful. I do not have the money for a neuropsychological exam for my child. We live in a rural area where resources are more scarce. (Special schools and group therapies are nonexistant and local practitioners have an outdated view of autism, adhd, etc.)

The two doctors we took my child to see agreed on one thing: "Treat the symptoms, not just the diagnosis." So if your child needs speech therapy due to adhd or autism or apraxia or a developmental delay or whatever, you get the child speech therapy.

Bickering online over the diagnosis often derails the OP, who need to understand how subjective this field can be.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for addressing this.

I live in another part of the country, and this board used to be so helpful. I do not have the money for a neuropsychological exam for my child. We live in a rural area where resources are more scarce. (Special schools and group therapies are nonexistant and local practitioners have an outdated view of autism, adhd, etc.)

The two doctors we took my child to see agreed on one thing: "Treat the symptoms, not just the diagnosis." So if your child needs speech therapy due to adhd or autism or apraxia or a developmental delay or whatever, you get the child speech therapy.

Bickering online over the diagnosis often derails the OP, who need to understand how subjective this field can be.

Well said.

Absolutely, there's nothing objective about the DSM like a blood test for diabetes. But at the same time, it's not true that speech therapy, for example, is the same for every condition, so a diagnosis is still important sometimes. And when someone is actively avoiding a particular diagnosis, that's also it's own issue, as they may also be actively avoiding the resources that have that feared label (autism). Finally, fringe diagnoses sometimes also have fringe, money-wasting "therapies" attached to them. For better or for worse, getting assigned to a DSM category hooks you in to how the world currently researches and understands your child's set of symptoms. If you bypass that, you potentially miss a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If somebody is shopping around for a formal diagnosis that does not exist in the DSM-V, why is it offensive and inappropriate to point that?

You are making assumptions that I am not sure you are in a position to make. In any case, such posts have disrupted many threads without yielding any observable benefit. Please refrain from posting them.

Whether or not something exists (or does not exist) as a diagnosis in the DSM-5 is not an assumption. It’s a fact.

I’m a long-time consumer of this board as a source of information. If you censor factual information I’m not sure that does a great service.

But it’s your board and you set the rules.

Whether someone is "shopping around for a diagnosis" could only be an assumption unless the poster specifically told you that's what they are doing. I think parents deserve the benefit of the doubt that they are trying to do the best for their children. Similarly, forum moderators who have long track records of maintaining popular forums should not cavalierly be accused of censorship. You may want to give a bit more thought to your language choices.

Case in point. Somebody recently began a thread titled “auditory processing disorder,” and in the very first line of her thread she said she was seeking somebody who could test/diagnose auditory processing disorder.

Fact one: That person was seeking somebody who could test for/diagnose auditory processing disorder. She said so explicitly in the beginning of the post.

Fact two: Auditory Processing Disorder is NOT a diagnosis in the DSM-V.

Fact three: You removed my posting that noted APD is not a diagnosis.

Yep, and I hope that you have learned from the experience or you will find a lot more of your posts getting deleted.

In response to the OP you could recommend someone to do the evaluation or you could shut the hell up. Starting an off-topic hijack was not among the appropriate responses. It was exactly that thread that triggered this post.

As someone with a child diagnosed with apd and language based LDs, the thread got hijacked by an undisclosed merld mom. Apd is only diagnosed by audiologists. It’s not in the dsm. It’s used as a descriptor by kids on the spectrum and with kids with learning based LDs.

Then you get a poster claiming not sticking to topic by bringing up either LDs or ASD or adhd, but that is reality. These are linked to apd symptoms.
https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/auditory-processing-disorder
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1866407e1
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6158468/

Jeff, you don’t understand merld or special needs. You don’t know how to be objective. I will happily provide you with the mountains of testing my kid has gone through, plugs medical, plus academic.

If someone insists their kid isn’t on the spectrum, doesn’t have language based LDs or adhd, but they have ‘“language issues” they belong on the merld Facebook group and not here, because we in the dissent respect the science and evidence based interventions. We also vaccinate and understand that the brain and it’s lovely neural networks are complicated and related and there’s no shame in autism.

Language based LDs and autism and adhd have more similarities than differences. Some of us are trying to breakthrough the bs that some people try to pull on here.

Oh brother, give it up. Jeff was right to do what he did. If you disagree with someone, just present the facts. Don't assume the other person is a "MERLD Mom," or whatever. I personally have been accused of avoiding an autism diagnosis even though my kid does have autism. It's clear that such accusations are used as a substitute for substantive discussion of interest to OPs.

If you want to have a general discussion about APD, start a separate thread for it.

DP. I don't think I'd make half as many "have you assessed for autism" comments if I didn't IRL know someone actively avoiding the autism diagnosis for their (clearly autistic) child. It's hard to see.

So inappropriate. It is exhausting and heart-wrenching to suss out the right diagnosis and then fight for appropriate services. Peds screen for Asd more than anything else; it’s impossible to avoid. Everything else takes the equivalent of a part-time job to work through.

I'm not sure what you're getting at. In the DC region, there's absolutely no reason not to have your child assessed for autism at an expert center (Childrens, KKI, Inova) if you have developmental concerns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for addressing this.

I live in another part of the country, and this board used to be so helpful. I do not have the money for a neuropsychological exam for my child. We live in a rural area where resources are more scarce. (Special schools and group therapies are nonexistant and local practitioners have an outdated view of autism, adhd, etc.)

The two doctors we took my child to see agreed on one thing: "Treat the symptoms, not just the diagnosis." So if your child needs speech therapy due to adhd or autism or apraxia or a developmental delay or whatever, you get the child speech therapy.

Bickering online over the diagnosis often derails the OP, who need to understand how subjective this field can be.

Well said.

Absolutely, there's nothing objective about the DSM like a blood test for diabetes. But at the same time, it's not true that speech therapy, for example, is the same for every condition, so a diagnosis is still important sometimes. And when someone is actively avoiding a particular diagnosis, that's also it's own issue, as they may also be actively avoiding the resources that have that feared label (autism). Finally, fringe diagnoses sometimes also have fringe, money-wasting "therapies" attached to them. For better or for worse, getting assigned to a DSM category hooks you in to how the world currently researches and understands your child's set of symptoms. If you bypass that, you potentially miss a lot.

Can you give the attacks a rest, even for day? You cannot know if another parent is avoiding a diagnosis or what is going on with another child, especially if you have not spent much time with that child or family. Just because its not a DSM diagnosis doesn't mean something different than ASD is going on. Isn't it good a parent is investigating what else might be going on so things can be catered to that individual child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If somebody is shopping around for a formal diagnosis that does not exist in the DSM-V, why is it offensive and inappropriate to point that?

You are making assumptions that I am not sure you are in a position to make. In any case, such posts have disrupted many threads without yielding any observable benefit. Please refrain from posting them.

Whether or not something exists (or does not exist) as a diagnosis in the DSM-5 is not an assumption. It’s a fact.

I’m a long-time consumer of this board as a source of information. If you censor factual information I’m not sure that does a great service.

But it’s your board and you set the rules.

Whether someone is "shopping around for a diagnosis" could only be an assumption unless the poster specifically told you that's what they are doing. I think parents deserve the benefit of the doubt that they are trying to do the best for their children. Similarly, forum moderators who have long track records of maintaining popular forums should not cavalierly be accused of censorship. You may want to give a bit more thought to your language choices.

Case in point. Somebody recently began a thread titled “auditory processing disorder,” and in the very first line of her thread she said she was seeking somebody who could test/diagnose auditory processing disorder.

Fact one: That person was seeking somebody who could test for/diagnose auditory processing disorder. She said so explicitly in the beginning of the post.

Fact two: Auditory Processing Disorder is NOT a diagnosis in the DSM-V.

Fact three: You removed my posting that noted APD is not a diagnosis.

Yep, and I hope that you have learned from the experience or you will find a lot more of your posts getting deleted.

In response to the OP you could recommend someone to do the evaluation or you could shut the hell up. Starting an off-topic hijack was not among the appropriate responses. It was exactly that thread that triggered this post.

As someone with a child diagnosed with apd and language based LDs, the thread got hijacked by an undisclosed merld mom. Apd is only diagnosed by audiologists. It’s not in the dsm. It’s used as a descriptor by kids on the spectrum and with kids with learning based LDs.

Then you get a poster claiming not sticking to topic by bringing up either LDs or ASD or adhd, but that is reality. These are linked to apd symptoms.
https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/auditory-processing-disorder
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1866407e1
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6158468/

Jeff, you don’t understand merld or special needs. You don’t know how to be objective. I will happily provide you with the mountains of testing my kid has gone through, plugs medical, plus academic.

If someone insists their kid isn’t on the spectrum, doesn’t have language based LDs or adhd, but they have ‘“language issues” they belong on the merld Facebook group and not here, because we in the dissent respect the science and evidence based interventions. We also vaccinate and understand that the brain and it’s lovely neural networks are complicated and related and there’s no shame in autism.

Language based LDs and autism and adhd have more similarities than differences. Some of us are trying to breakthrough the bs that some people try to pull on here.

Oh brother, give it up. Jeff was right to do what he did. If you disagree with someone, just present the facts. Don't assume the other person is a "MERLD Mom," or whatever. I personally have been accused of avoiding an autism diagnosis even though my kid does have autism. It's clear that such accusations are used as a substitute for substantive discussion of interest to OPs.

If you want to have a general discussion about APD, start a separate thread for it.

DP. I don't think I'd make half as many "have you assessed for autism" comments if I didn't IRL know someone actively avoiding the autism diagnosis for their (clearly autistic) child. It's hard to see.

So inappropriate. It is exhausting and heart-wrenching to suss out the right diagnosis and then fight for appropriate services. Peds screen for Asd more than anything else; it’s impossible to avoid. Everything else takes the equivalent of a part-time job to work through.

I'm not sure what you're getting at. In the DC region, there's absolutely no reason not to have your child assessed for autism at an expert center (Childrens, KKI, Inova) if you have developmental concerns.

Any developmental concerns? Please tell me you don't mean that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If somebody is shopping around for a formal diagnosis that does not exist in the DSM-V, why is it offensive and inappropriate to point that?

You are making assumptions that I am not sure you are in a position to make. In any case, such posts have disrupted many threads without yielding any observable benefit. Please refrain from posting them.

Whether or not something exists (or does not exist) as a diagnosis in the DSM-5 is not an assumption. It’s a fact.

I’m a long-time consumer of this board as a source of information. If you censor factual information I’m not sure that does a great service.

But it’s your board and you set the rules.

Whether someone is "shopping around for a diagnosis" could only be an assumption unless the poster specifically told you that's what they are doing. I think parents deserve the benefit of the doubt that they are trying to do the best for their children. Similarly, forum moderators who have long track records of maintaining popular forums should not cavalierly be accused of censorship. You may want to give a bit more thought to your language choices.

Case in point. Somebody recently began a thread titled “auditory processing disorder,” and in the very first line of her thread she said she was seeking somebody who could test/diagnose auditory processing disorder.

Fact one: That person was seeking somebody who could test for/diagnose auditory processing disorder. She said so explicitly in the beginning of the post.

Fact two: Auditory Processing Disorder is NOT a diagnosis in the DSM-V.

Fact three: You removed my posting that noted APD is not a diagnosis.

Yep, and I hope that you have learned from the experience or you will find a lot more of your posts getting deleted.

In response to the OP you could recommend someone to do the evaluation or you could shut the hell up. Starting an off-topic hijack was not among the appropriate responses. It was exactly that thread that triggered this post.

As someone with a child diagnosed with apd and language based LDs, the thread got hijacked by an undisclosed merld mom. Apd is only diagnosed by audiologists. It’s not in the dsm. It’s used as a descriptor by kids on the spectrum and with kids with learning based LDs.

Then you get a poster claiming not sticking to topic by bringing up either LDs or ASD or adhd, but that is reality. These are linked to apd symptoms.
https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/auditory-processing-disorder
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1866407e1
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6158468/

Jeff, you don’t understand merld or special needs. You don’t know how to be objective. I will happily provide you with the mountains of testing my kid has gone through, plugs medical, plus academic.

If someone insists their kid isn’t on the spectrum, doesn’t have language based LDs or adhd, but they have ‘“language issues” they belong on the merld Facebook group and not here, because we in the dissent respect the science and evidence based interventions. We also vaccinate and understand that the brain and it’s lovely neural networks are complicated and related and there’s no shame in autism.

Language based LDs and autism and adhd have more similarities than differences. Some of us are trying to breakthrough the bs that some people try to pull on here.

Oh brother, give it up. Jeff was right to do what he did. If you disagree with someone, just present the facts. Don't assume the other person is a "MERLD Mom," or whatever. I personally have been accused of avoiding an autism diagnosis even though my kid does have autism. It's clear that such accusations are used as a substitute for substantive discussion of interest to OPs.

If you want to have a general discussion about APD, start a separate thread for it.

DP. I don't think I'd make half as many "have you assessed for autism" comments if I didn't IRL know someone actively avoiding the autism diagnosis for their (clearly autistic) child. It's hard to see.

So inappropriate. It is exhausting and heart-wrenching to suss out the right diagnosis and then fight for appropriate services. Peds screen for Asd more than anything else; it’s impossible to avoid. Everything else takes the equivalent of a part-time job to work through.

I'm not sure what you're getting at. In the DC region, there's absolutely no reason not to have your child assessed for autism at an expert center (Childrens, KKI, Inova) if you have developmental concerns.

There’s no need for to say anything because there isn’t a parent in America who hasn’t been told by their pediatrician that there might be concerns if warranted. Your crusade isn’t going to change that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If somebody is shopping around for a formal diagnosis that does not exist in the DSM-V, why is it offensive and inappropriate to point that?

You are making assumptions that I am not sure you are in a position to make. In any case, such posts have disrupted many threads without yielding any observable benefit. Please refrain from posting them.

Whether or not something exists (or does not exist) as a diagnosis in the DSM-5 is not an assumption. It’s a fact.

I’m a long-time consumer of this board as a source of information. If you censor factual information I’m not sure that does a great service.

But it’s your board and you set the rules.

Whether someone is "shopping around for a diagnosis" could only be an assumption unless the poster specifically told you that's what they are doing. I think parents deserve the benefit of the doubt that they are trying to do the best for their children. Similarly, forum moderators who have long track records of maintaining popular forums should not cavalierly be accused of censorship. You may want to give a bit more thought to your language choices.

Case in point. Somebody recently began a thread titled “auditory processing disorder,” and in the very first line of her thread she said she was seeking somebody who could test/diagnose auditory processing disorder.

Fact one: That person was seeking somebody who could test for/diagnose auditory processing disorder. She said so explicitly in the beginning of the post.

Fact two: Auditory Processing Disorder is NOT a diagnosis in the DSM-V.

Fact three: You removed my posting that noted APD is not a diagnosis.

Yep, and I hope that you have learned from the experience or you will find a lot more of your posts getting deleted.

In response to the OP you could recommend someone to do the evaluation or you could shut the hell up. Starting an off-topic hijack was not among the appropriate responses. It was exactly that thread that triggered this post.

As someone with a child diagnosed with apd and language based LDs, the thread got hijacked by an undisclosed merld mom. Apd is only diagnosed by audiologists. It’s not in the dsm. It’s used as a descriptor by kids on the spectrum and with kids with learning based LDs.

Then you get a poster claiming not sticking to topic by bringing up either LDs or ASD or adhd, but that is reality. These are linked to apd symptoms.
https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/auditory-processing-disorder
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1866407e1
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6158468/

Jeff, you don’t understand merld or special needs. You don’t know how to be objective. I will happily provide you with the mountains of testing my kid has gone through, plugs medical, plus academic.

If someone insists their kid isn’t on the spectrum, doesn’t have language based LDs or adhd, but they have ‘“language issues” they belong on the merld Facebook group and not here, because we in the dissent respect the science and evidence based interventions. We also vaccinate and understand that the brain and it’s lovely neural networks are complicated and related and there’s no shame in autism.

Language based LDs and autism and adhd have more similarities than differences. Some of us are trying to breakthrough the bs that some people try to pull on here.

Oh brother, give it up. Jeff was right to do what he did. If you disagree with someone, just present the facts. Don't assume the other person is a "MERLD Mom," or whatever. I personally have been accused of avoiding an autism diagnosis even though my kid does have autism. It's clear that such accusations are used as a substitute for substantive discussion of interest to OPs.

If you want to have a general discussion about APD, start a separate thread for it.

DP. I don't think I'd make half as many "have you assessed for autism" comments if I didn't IRL know someone actively avoiding the autism diagnosis for their (clearly autistic) child. It's hard to see.

So inappropriate. It is exhausting and heart-wrenching to suss out the right diagnosis and then fight for appropriate services. Peds screen for Asd more than anything else; it’s impossible to avoid. Everything else takes the equivalent of a part-time job to work through.

I'm not sure what you're getting at. In the DC region, there's absolutely no reason not to have your child assessed for autism at an expert center (Childrens, KKI, Inova) if you have developmental concerns.

There’s no need for to say anything because there isn’t a parent in America who hasn’t been told by their pediatrician that there might be concerns if warranted. Your crusade isn’t going to change that.

Bringing it back to the point of this thread: this is a general, anonymous website. So when someone posts a question along the lines of "my child is in OT and PT and seems really anxious and plays with his fingers a lot" .... yes, the response will be "go get an autism assessment." That convo should not derail into "you think everyone has autism you crazy lady!". If someone posts "my child has SPD and keeps on getting kicked out of preschool what should I do?" then yes, people will validly say "SPD is not a disgnosis used by the people your kid needs to be evaluated by." This can all be done without derailing the conversation.

[Anonymous]

So after reading this thread I think my take away is ‘say it once’. If you have a feeling about something’s that’s in line with the original post- say it once. As long as it’s without name calling ect. That’s all I got.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Bringing it back to the point of this thread: this is a general, anonymous website. So when someone posts a question along the lines of "my child is in OT and PT and seems really anxious and plays with his fingers a lot" .... yes, the response will be "go get an autism assessment." That convo should not derail into "you think everyone has autism you crazy lady!". If someone posts "my child has SPD and keeps on getting kicked out of preschool what should I do?" then yes, people will validly say "SPD is not a disgnosis used by the people your kid needs to be evaluated by." This can all be done without derailing the conversation.

When I see OT and PT, I think DCD, so no, not everything automatically circles to autism. The point of this thread that that we should directly address the concern of the OP, not push our own agenda.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:
Bringing it back to the point of this thread: this is a general, anonymous website. So when someone posts a question along the lines of "my child is in OT and PT and seems really anxious and plays with his fingers a lot" .... yes, the response will be "go get an autism assessment." That convo should not derail into "you think everyone has autism you crazy lady!". If someone posts "my child has SPD and keeps on getting kicked out of preschool what should I do?" then yes, people will validly say "SPD is not a disgnosis used by the people your kid needs to be evaluated by." This can all be done without derailing the conversation.

The issue I have with both of your responses is tone and context. I realize that you were simply giving examples and probably would post something more thoughtful in an actual response, but I think it is important to understand my problem with these responses. Children don't end up in OT and PT because their parents wake up one morning and decide these are better uses of their time than, say, playdates. By that time they have had discussions with pediatricians, potentially with educators, and so on. The same with getting diagnosed with SPD. While I don't think they are meant this way, these responses are easily understood as "you are a fool who doesn't understand your child and all that you have done has been wrong". Nobody wants to hear that and, even if it is true -- which it generally is not -- there are far better ways to say it. Combine that with the fact that it really does seem like some posters think everything is autism and derailment is very likely.

Please try to be empathetic in your responses and treat the poster as you would want to be treated. There are ways to suggest that additional evaluations would be helpful that are supportive and don't make posters feel worse than they already did.

[Anonymous]

Jeff, I understand and appreciate your prescriptive. I do think it’s hard for many of us to view those discussions objectively. For example, my child does not have autism, but I do see the posters that insist autism is over diagnosed as being very insensitive. They really are contending that those children that have autism are far more impacted than their own children. That’s often not the case at all. Also, it’s not fair to tell someone that they simply accepted an over diagnoses condition. The reason I think these posters need to be responded to is because they make parents struggling with diagnosis and sadness etc. lose years and get caught up and confused by insisting it’s not a bigger condition and going to see the one specialist they approve of. There are hundreds of excellent professionals here in the DMV. Avoiding them in favor of shopping for a preferred diagnosis is a problem. There’s no way around that.

Regardless, I don’t think it’s fair at all to all of the excellent and caring therapists we have worked with to not appreciate that they don’t go by a diagnosis but rather what the child needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So after reading this thread I think my take away is ‘say it once’. If you have a feeling about something’s that’s in line with the original post- say it once. As long as it’s without name calling ect. That’s all I got.

Agreed. Say it once and say it nicely. If you want to have a debate about it, make your own thread.