Reply to Reminder about the purpose of the Kids with Special Needs Forum

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[quote=jsteele][quote=Anonymous]
Bringing it back to the point of this thread: this is a general, anonymous website. So when someone posts a question along the lines of "my child is in OT and PT and seems really anxious and plays with his fingers a lot" .... yes, the response will be "go get an autism assessment." That convo should not derail into "you think everyone has autism you crazy lady!". If someone posts "my child has SPD and keeps on getting kicked out of preschool what should I do?" then yes, people will validly say "SPD is not a disgnosis used by the people your kid needs to be evaluated by." This can all be done without derailing the conversation. [/quote]

The issue I have with both of your responses is tone and context. I realize that you were simply giving examples and probably would post something more thoughtful in an actual response, but I think it is important to understand my problem with these responses. Children don't end up in OT and PT because their parents wake up one morning and decide these are better uses of their time than, say, playdates. By that time they have had discussions with pediatricians, potentially with educators, and so on. The same with getting diagnosed with SPD. While I don't think they are meant this way, these responses are easily understood as "you are a fool who doesn't understand your child and all that you have done has been wrong". Nobody wants to hear that and, even if it is true -- which it generally is not -- there are far better ways to say it. Combine that with the fact that it really does seem like some posters think everything is autism and derailment is very likely.

Please try to be empathetic in your responses and treat the poster as you would want to be treated. There are ways to suggest that additional evaluations would be helpful that are supportive and don't make posters feel worse than they already did.

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