Rush at UVA

[Anonymous]

It’s been 20 years since I did rush at UVA and I went into it very blindly. I never saw myself as a sorority girl and I was pretty shy. That said, it was a good experience in the sense that I had to practice being in social situations, making conversation, and learning how to present myself. To my great surprise, I enjoyed meeting a lot of the girls at several different houses and was offered a bid and pledged as a first year. My sorority had many girls who were and are very down to earth, very diverse compared to other sororities, and we had many shared interests. I enjoyed living with these girls, playing intramural sports and doing service projects, and of course the parties and social events. We supported each other and had each other’s backs then and now.

My point is there is a range of sororities with different personalities and values and I think it can be a good experience and may surprise some of the naysayers. I think for girls who don’t have a strong sense of themselves and what they want and are always trying to be what other people want them to be it could be a bad experience if it didn’t work out as they might have liked (like your friends or hallmates all get into one house and you don’t) but for most girls I think it’s positive and you either find a house you like or you don’t and just decide it’s not for you and move along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you don't get invited to join any sorority? Then you'd feel like the biggest loser. Why are they so exclusive? So that they can feel superior?

Far more students go through rush than there are openings. And yes, if you go through to the end and get no bids, it is pretty awful. DD1 specifically chose a school with no Greek life, but that doesn’t seem to be DD2’s plan. Dreading it.

Yes!!! That was me eons ago before UVa had the rule another poster described above where you always get a bid as long as you maximize your options. I attended the max number of chapters, the whole way, and two preference parties the last day —and no bid!!! That day was really sad and confusing for me. I definitely felt left out for a long while and even wondered if maybe there was something less worthy about me. While it may sound dramatic to people, for many of us there are actually few times in life where you are literally voted on and ranked by your peers (and are privvy to the results!!!).

OP —fingers crossed your girl doesn’t experience self doubt at the end of the process however it works out. My two cents overall? If you are not an athlete, wealthy, beautiful, and/or already connected to girls in a sorority— it can be fairly random. So don’t dwell!!!

I had a similar experience at UVA and it just sucked to be judged as “less than”. OP- truly hope your DD has a positive experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The sorority rush process can be brutal - at any school. Had three daughters go thru it. One didn't call til it was over, one was calling at 7 am every morning in tears as cuts were made, and one called pretty much every day with the highs and lows.

You don't have to be a helicopter mom to feel the pain of your child.

Your kids called you and you listened. You didn't call other parents of other kids rushing so you could all theorize on why your kids were being cut. It's weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much every girl cries at some point during rush. It is exhausting and emotional.

Can someone please explain why people (girls and boys) put themselves through such an idiotic, random, stressful process? Why not just make friends the old fashioned way? This seems so bizarre and contrived to me.

+1

My daughters didn't cry when they rushed and didn't find the process painful. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much every girl cries at some point during rush. It is exhausting and emotional.

Can someone please explain why people (girls and boys) put themselves through such an idiotic, random, stressful process? Why not just make friends the old fashioned way? This seems so bizarre and contrived to me.

+1

My daughters didn't cry when they rushed and didn't find the process painful. Sorry.

I think it’s probably a pleasant enough deal if you fit the mold - athlete/rich/beautiful and/or have legacy or pre existing connections to sororities from high school. Any of these apply?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you don't get invited to join any sorority? Then you'd feel like the biggest loser. Why are they so exclusive? So that they can feel superior?

Far more students go through rush than there are openings. And yes, if you go through to the end and get no bids, it is pretty awful. DD1 specifically chose a school with no Greek life, but that doesn’t seem to be DD2’s plan. Dreading it.

This is not true any longer. Any young woman who completes the recruitment process is guaranteed a spot. No one goes bidless. They may not get the bid they want, but every potential new member will be given a bid. (The only school where this is not true is Indiana. They are special snowflakes.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you don't get invited to join any sorority? Then you'd feel like the biggest loser. Why are they so exclusive? So that they can feel superior?

Far more students go through rush than there are openings. And yes, if you go through to the end and get no bids, it is pretty awful. DD1 specifically chose a school with no Greek life, but that doesn’t seem to be DD2’s plan. Dreading it.

Yes!!! That was me eons ago before UVa had the rule another poster described above where you always get a bid as long as you maximize your options. I attended the max number of chapters, the whole way, and two preference parties the last day —and no bid!!! That day was really sad and confusing for me. I definitely felt left out for a long while and even wondered if maybe there was something less worthy about me. While it may sound dramatic to people, for many of us there are actually few times in life where you are literally voted on and ranked by your peers (and are privvy to the results!!!).

OP —fingers crossed your girl doesn’t experience self doubt at the end of the process however it works out. My two cents overall? If you are not an athlete, wealthy, beautiful, and/or already connected to girls in a sorority— it can be fairly random. So don’t dwell!!!

I had a similar experience at UVA and it just sucked to be judged as “less than”. OP- truly hope your DD has a positive experience.

Me too. 25 years ago at UVA and I still remember calling my mom and crying about it. It was a really awful feeling, especially at the very beginning of my college experience. In retrospect, I’m glad it worked out that way, though. It wasn’t a good fit for me and after a while it all just seemed so ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you don't get invited to join any sorority? Then you'd feel like the biggest loser. Why are they so exclusive? So that they can feel superior?

Far more students go through rush than there are openings. And yes, if you go through to the end and get no bids, it is pretty awful. DD1 specifically chose a school with no Greek life, but that doesn’t seem to be DD2’s plan. Dreading it.

This is not true any longer. Any young woman who completes the recruitment process is guaranteed a spot. No one goes bidless. They may not get the bid they want, but every potential new member will be given a bid. (The only school where this is not true is Indiana. They are special snowflakes.)

+1 How many times has this been explained since the first page?

I think some people have baggage from their college days and can't let it go. Times have changed. If you can't get over parts of your college experience, talk to a professional to process it and don't burden your kids with this outdated information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much every girl cries at some point during rush. It is exhausting and emotional.

Can someone please explain why people (girls and boys) put themselves through such an idiotic, random, stressful process? Why not just make friends the old fashioned way? This seems so bizarre and contrived to me.

+1

My daughters didn't cry when they rushed and didn't find the process painful. Sorry.

I think it’s probably a pleasant enough deal if you fit the mold - athlete/rich/beautiful and/or have legacy or pre existing connections to sororities from high school. Any of these apply?

Not athletes. Not rich by UVA standards but far from poor. Pretty and personable but not "beautiful." NO legacy and no connections.

[Anonymous]

It all sounds really gross. I’m glad those of you who enjoyed it did so, but I am amazed at how little y’all care about the high level of exclusion and pain endemic to the system.

[Anonymous]

Frankly, I'm kind of hoping that Greek systems especially the historically white ones will be casualties of the Great Awokening. Such a racist and classist system. I understand as a state school, it could be harder for UVA to get rid of these "societies".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There were decades when they didn’t fill and were less exclusive. Experiencing a resurgence.

Ugh. Seems so desperate and needy to beg for inclusion like that. Especially from a group of complete strangers who don’t know or care about you to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you don't get invited to join any sorority? Then you'd feel like the biggest loser. Why are they so exclusive? So that they can feel superior?

Far more students go through rush than there are openings. And yes, if you go through to the end and get no bids, it is pretty awful. DD1 specifically chose a school with no Greek life, but that doesn’t seem to be DD2’s plan. Dreading it.

Yes!!! That was me eons ago before UVa had the rule another poster described above where you always get a bid as long as you maximize your options. I attended the max number of chapters, the whole way, and two preference parties the last day —and no bid!!! That day was really sad and confusing for me. I definitely felt left out for a long while and even wondered if maybe there was something less worthy about me. While it may sound dramatic to people, for many of us there are actually few times in life where you are literally voted on and ranked by your peers (and are privvy to the results!!!).

OP —fingers crossed your girl doesn’t experience self doubt at the end of the process however it works out. My two cents overall? If you are not an athlete, wealthy, beautiful, and/or already connected to girls in a sorority— it can be fairly random. So don’t dwell!!!

Why would you put yourself through that?? Plenty of people to be friends with who aren’t in sorority/frats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I'm kind of hoping that Greek systems especially the historically white ones will be casualties of the Great Awokening. Such a racist and classist system. I understand as a state school, it could be harder for UVA to get rid of these "societies".

Um, there are plenty of historically black sororities - do you feel the same way about them?

Frankly, I hope the Greek system as a whole just goes away, but I include ALL sororities and frats.

[Anonymous]

I just saw some estimated (unofficially) stats on this. There were about 1000 PNMs. About 600 matches on bid day yesterday. 400 either dropped (likely because they did not feel compatible with their remaining choices or less likely dropped altogether). That is considered a highly inefficient rate as the national average is about 15%.