Rush at UVA

[Anonymous]

The sorority rush process can be brutal - at any school. Had three daughters go thru it. One didn't call til it was over, one was calling at 7 am every morning in tears as cuts were made, and one called pretty much every day with the highs and lows.

You don't have to be a helicopter mom to feel the pain of your child.

[Anonymous]

Pretty much every girl cries at some point during rush. It is exhausting and emotional.

[Anonymous]

OP I never pledged so this whole process was foreign to me when DD went thru it. Google about the process and you will learn more about how it work to better understand what you DD is going thru. Sounds just like both of my DDs experience.

Hang in there -- hope she loves were she lands.

[Anonymous]

My daughters best friend was cut from all the ones she wanted as a Freshman and dropped out. Now she’s rushing again as a sophomore and knows girls in all of the houses. This year she is excited and confident and it is a much better experience. Lesson here I think is it doesn’t work out don’t settle - just give it another year. You don’t want to be ashamed of your sorority. I know too many girls that have gone that route then quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just read through the booklet that was linked on this thread. There are hundreds of young women pictured, and not one—not ONE!—woman of color. WTH?!

I’m white, if that matters. Is UVA really that non-diverse? Or do POC avoid UVA sororities? Or was it a bad choice of overall photos by the people who devised the booklet?

It's fair to say Greek life is segregated. There are 7 historically black sororities and fraternities at UVA. https://fsl.virginia.edu/national-pan-hellenic-council

Not what anyone is asking and this is a different ball of wax, but my kids found the service fraternities (no houses, not traditional sororities) more diverse, but still expanding social experiences. What they got was cross-major friendships with students they would not have otherwise met. There are also two « honors » fraternities ( i forget the names, i can look them up, one might be PSP) that have a minimum gpa but are nothing like Phi Beta Kappa, they are more social than academic. Again, this would be of no interest to girls who want a traditional sorority experience but might be rewarding to kids looking to join more diverse groups that have some shared goals ( scholarship, fellowship, service).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much every girl cries at some point during rush. It is exhausting and emotional.

Can someone please explain why people (girls and boys) put themselves through such an idiotic, random, stressful process? Why not just make friends the old fashioned way? This seems so bizarre and contrived to me.

[Anonymous]

My DD chose this path to find her “team”. She used to play competitive sports and missed the small group intimacy and thought Greek life would help fill that void. It was not my path but hers despite my advice. It has been a humbling experience for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much every girl cries at some point during rush. It is exhausting and emotional.

Can someone please explain why people (girls and boys) put themselves through such an idiotic, random, stressful process? Why not just make friends the old fashioned way? This seems so bizarre and contrived to me.

In a university of 40,000, pledging immediately gives you a tribe. People who are on board with helping you suceed at school. People to live wuth, sut with at the football games, ho to parties with. And when you struggle there are people th here to help and study with.

I am still connected to my sorority sisters 40 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much every girl cries at some point during rush. It is exhausting and emotional.

Can someone please explain why people (girls and boys) put themselves through such an idiotic, random, stressful process? Why not just make friends the old fashioned way? This seems so bizarre and contrived to me.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much every girl cries at some point during rush. It is exhausting and emotional.

Can someone please explain why people (girls and boys) put themselves through such an idiotic, random, stressful process? Why not just make friends the old fashioned way? This seems so bizarre and contrived to me.

In a university of 40,000, pledging immediately gives you a tribe. People who are on board with helping you suceed at school. People to live wuth, sut with at the football games, ho to parties with. And when you struggle there are people th here to help and study with.

I am still connected to my sorority sisters 40 years later.

UVA has only 16,500 undergrads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in a fraternity in college (like many here I'm sure). While I had some good times and the housing was a plus, I would not do it again if I had to do college over. YMMV.

We’re talking about sororities here.

[Anonymous]

What if you don't get invited to join any sorority? Then you'd feel like the biggest loser. Why are they so exclusive? So that they can feel superior?

[Anonymous]

There were decades when they didn’t fill and were less exclusive. Experiencing a resurgence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if you don't get invited to join any sorority? Then you'd feel like the biggest loser. Why are they so exclusive? So that they can feel superior?

Far more students go through rush than there are openings. And yes, if you go through to the end and get no bids, it is pretty awful. DD1 specifically chose a school with no Greek life, but that doesn’t seem to be DD2’s plan. Dreading it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you don't get invited to join any sorority? Then you'd feel like the biggest loser. Why are they so exclusive? So that they can feel superior?

Far more students go through rush than there are openings. And yes, if you go through to the end and get no bids, it is pretty awful. DD1 specifically chose a school with no Greek life, but that doesn’t seem to be DD2’s plan. Dreading it.

Yes!!! That was me eons ago before UVa had the rule another poster described above where you always get a bid as long as you maximize your options. I attended the max number of chapters, the whole way, and two preference parties the last day —and no bid!!! That day was really sad and confusing for me. I definitely felt left out for a long while and even wondered if maybe there was something less worthy about me. While it may sound dramatic to people, for many of us there are actually few times in life where you are literally voted on and ranked by your peers (and are privvy to the results!!!).

OP —fingers crossed your girl doesn’t experience self doubt at the end of the process however it works out. My two cents overall? If you are not an athlete, wealthy, beautiful, and/or already connected to girls in a sorority— it can be fairly random. So don’t dwell!!!