17 Yr Not Asking Permission To Go Somewhere After School

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 17, I was 3,000+ miles away from my parents at college; we talked maybe once per week between August, when I flew out (by myself), and December, when I flew back for Christmas break. (Had to come up with my own plan for Thanksgiving - airfare was too expensive to get back and forth for only a week.) This conversation is kind of blowing my mind.

Why? Some families are close. Nothing weird about it.

There is a big difference between being away in college and living at home. My son is at college. We talk once a weekish. When he was living at home, we would let me know where he was and when he would return. It is just courtesy. My husband does the same. I leave my kids a note if I go out before they wake up. But..if some parents treat their high school kids as just adult roommates that does not matter to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Hey - I just lived this! Just text him: "Hey, are you home? There's a package coming if you can sign for it." or "I'm making tacos for dinner, will you be joining us?" If he's an otherwise good kid, don't make this a huge issue. It's part of the natural separation process and choosing to fight about it will ruin your last year with him.

This is how I dealt with it with 17 yo DS. Occasionally, I would ask him to do something if he happened to be at home. I didn't as a general rule need to know if he, for example, decided to stay at school or go to a friend's house instead of coming home for a while before an evening rehearsal.

BUT....what if he doesn't answer any of your texts/calls?? That is my secondary issue...

You are asking for common courtesies that should be expected of any household member so that you can plan and so you do not worry. You are the parent and it's your house and I assume that you are paying for his phone. If he cannot text you back or pick up your calls, then I would take away his phone.

What you're asking him to do is very reasonable OP. Think about what your spouse and you do. If we are going to be home late, or are going out somewhere, we notify each other. It's just how you live with other people.