How much money to leave aunt watching kids while we travel?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting thread - I watch my sisters kids all the time and she reciprocated so we never leave money for food or extra activities. We both have 2 kids. The only time I send her money is if she is hosting something like thanksgiving or Christmas for multiple days and we are eating every meal there.

Which makes perfect sense. But this is a younger person with no kids, or at least that's what it sounds like.

If someone in the family does something I need, then I reciprocate by doing things they need. And often what a young single person starting out needs is money.

[Anonymous]

I'd expect at least 500 for this nightmare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It also shows aunt that she should never ask anything of you OP as your view would be that she would need to compensate you for it. That you would only help her if he hired you and compensated you financially for your help.

Aunt isn't like you OP. She sees your kids as part of her famy and enjoys being with them and getting to do things for them. Her famy of famy is not that any time with her nieces/nephews must be paid time.

You can't see her side because the idea of helping without beig paid for it is foreign to you and you would frel insilted and taken advantage of if someone didn't pau you for your time. She can't see your side because the idea of being paid for helping family is foreign to her and insulted by your perception that she is hired help.

Lots of people in this thread on both sides.

I'm the OP and have watched my SILs 4 kids for 2 weeks and asked for nothing. So I basically had 7 children for 14 days. I took no money and was offered none. And I was fine with that. So not sure why my offering money implies I expect money. I offered money because my friend/their Aunt is doing us a huge favor, is not a blood relative, and doesn't have to do any of it and I didn't want my children to be a burden.

So, the aunt is not really their aunt?

Oh my, this is getting weirder by the day.

OP, are you making up some kind of soap opera?

OP here. She is an aunt in every true sense of the word, except we have no blood relationship. You don't have anyone you know who is family by choice, not blood? What should my kids call her. We have been friends since we were 9. She was there when I met my husband, she stood in our wedding, she was one of the first people at the hospital when each of my children were born. Calling her just a friend wouldn't be accurate but at the same time because she is not blood I recognize her watching my kids is going above and beyond. I have 4 sisters who watch my kids free of charge but I also watch their kids. This friend/aunt has no kids so it's a big ask to take on 3 and I wanted her to be compensated, not insulted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you figuring this per child? I’d give her $500 for the whole shabang.

She would call at last minute to cancel. OP, you should have gotten the financial part of this ourvifvtgdcway as the first thing you did. Figure out how much she is to be paid daily--3 kids $300/day MINIMUM--everyday expenses--food, gas, extra for movies, eating out $100/day MINIMUM.

Do not be cheap!

[Anonymous]

Some of you people here are crazy. OP’s kids are not toddlers, they will not require round the clock care. I have a best friend who is like an aunt to my kids, and me to hers, I cannot fathom accepting or offering 2000 for this kind of arrangement. OP can show up with a few bags of groceries, 200-300 for extra gas and incidentals, and give a really nice gift. Some of this really depends on the person taking care of the kids, are they the kind of person to embrace cooking for the kids or will they want to eat out all the time? How resourceful/creative is this person in coming up with some low-key outings the kids will enjoy? Caring for and entertaining school age kids for a few days does not require a fortune.

Some of you are way out of touch. But I already knew that. Please leave your bubble sometime. You’d be amazed how many families function and thrive on sub mid 6 figure incomes. I notice in a lot of lower income and immigrant families the family members help watch other kids without these huge expectations, much less 2k for 8 days. They don’t seem to see it as a burden. DCUM needs to crawl out of its ass.

[Anonymous]

what a long and boring thread. good lord.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you people here are crazy. OP’s kids are not toddlers, they will not require round the clock care. I have a best friend who is like an aunt to my kids, and me to hers, I cannot fathom accepting or offering 2000 for this kind of arrangement. OP can show up with a few bags of groceries, 200-300 for extra gas and incidentals, and give a really nice gift. Some of this really depends on the person taking care of the kids, are they the kind of person to embrace cooking for the kids or will they want to eat out all the time? How resourceful/creative is this person in coming up with some low-key outings the kids will enjoy? Caring for and entertaining school age kids for a few days does not require a fortune.

Some of you are way out of touch. But I already knew that. Please leave your bubble sometime. You’d be amazed how many families function and thrive on sub mid 6 figure incomes. I notice in a lot of lower income and immigrant families the family members help watch other kids without these huge expectations, much less 2k for 8 days. They don’t seem to see it as a burden. DCUM needs to crawl out of its ass.

This! My sister, who is married and with zero kids, watch my kids (3), all the time. Her and her husband (they watch them together), never ask for money and would never accept. Family help each other out. I don’t get the “let’s toss everyone money that comes in contact with my kids” thing.

[Anonymous]

Wait, does the aunt work? If so, is she taking vacation time to watch several kids (Op said nieces AND newphews so I’m imaging at least 4 kids). Holy sh!t. Are these kids in school or is this wonder aunt taking care of them 24/7 for 8 days!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you people here are crazy. OP’s kids are not toddlers, they will not require round the clock care. I have a best friend who is like an aunt to my kids, and me to hers, I cannot fathom accepting or offering 2000 for this kind of arrangement. OP can show up with a few bags of groceries, 200-300 for extra gas and incidentals, and give a really nice gift. Some of this really depends on the person taking care of the kids, are they the kind of person to embrace cooking for the kids or will they want to eat out all the time? How resourceful/creative is this person in coming up with some low-key outings the kids will enjoy? Caring for and entertaining school age kids for a few days does not require a fortune.

Some of you are way out of touch. But I already knew that. Please leave your bubble sometime. You’d be amazed how many families function and thrive on sub mid 6 figure incomes. I notice in a lot of lower income and immigrant families the family members help watch other kids without these huge expectations, much less 2k for 8 days. They don’t seem to see it as a burden. DCUM needs to crawl out of its ass.

This! My sister, who is married and with zero kids, watch my kids (3), all the time. Her and her husband (they watch them together), never ask for money and would never accept. Family help each other out. I don’t get the “let’s toss everyone money that comes in contact with my kids” thing.

How do you hel out your sister?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what a long and boring thread. good lord.

Right?

[Anonymous]

Single childless aunt here- If you don’t leave me money for food then it’s going to be PBj and Mac and cheese. I don’t have a budget to feed your family. I’m also a nanny and wouldn’t agree to this as then my SIL would take advantage. Please leave her enough money for food, I think $100-$150 for food, $20-40 for gas.