How much money to leave aunt watching kids while we travel?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$500-700

Each? For 8 days???

Including payment for 16 hours a day of childcare, why do you think that's unreasonable?

If it wasn't an aunt you'd pay more than that.

She isn't paying for child care. She's leaving money for food and extras. After they return, she can get her a nice gift card for her time. So, they need dinner out and an activity or two for the weekend days they are gone.

She specifically said the money was to pay her for her troubles. So, yes, she's expecting this money to cover paying for childcare.

I would never leave my kids with such a person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$500-700

Each? For 8 days???

Including payment for 16 hours a day of childcare, why do you think that's unreasonable?

If it wasn't an aunt you'd pay more than that.

She isn't paying for child care. She's leaving money for food and extras. After they return, she can get her a nice gift card for her time. So, they need dinner out and an activity or two for the weekend days they are gone.

She specifically said the money was to pay her for her troubles. So, yes, she's expecting this money to cover paying for childcare.

I would never leave my kids with such a person.

Ugh. You think that you are entitled to free childcare from your relatives and that the relative who agrees to watch *your* children should also be on the hook for paying for their food, entertainment, gas, etc....Seriously? Way to use a family member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$500-700

Each? For 8 days???

Including payment for 16 hours a day of childcare, why do you think that's unreasonable?

If it wasn't an aunt you'd pay more than that.

She isn't paying for child care. She's leaving money for food and extras. After they return, she can get her a nice gift card for her time. So, they need dinner out and an activity or two for the weekend days they are gone.

She specifically said the money was to pay her for her troubles. So, yes, she's expecting this money to cover paying for childcare.

I would never leave my kids with such a person.

Ugh. You think that you are entitled to free childcare from your relatives and that the relative who agrees to watch *your* children should also be on the hook for paying for their food, entertainment, gas, etc....Seriously? Way to use a family member.

Literally NO ONE is saying that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It also shows aunt that she should never ask anything of you OP as your view would be that she would need to compensate you for it. That you would only help her if he hired you and compensated you financially for your help.

Aunt isn't like you OP. She sees your kids as part of her famy and enjoys being with them and getting to do things for them. Her famy of famy is not that any time with her nieces/nephews must be paid time.

You can't see her side because the idea of helping without beig paid for it is foreign to you and you would frel insilted and taken advantage of if someone didn't pau you for your time. She can't see your side because the idea of being paid for helping family is foreign to her and insulted by your perception that she is hired help.

Lots of people in this thread on both sides.

I'm the OP and have watched my SILs 4 kids for 2 weeks and asked for nothing. So I basically had 7 children for 14 days. I took no money and was offered none. And I was fine with that. So not sure why my offering money implies I expect money. I offered money because my friend/their Aunt is doing us a huge favor, is not a blood relative, and doesn't have to do any of it and I didn't want my children to be a burden.

So, the aunt is not really their aunt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - Aunt is the most wonderful, kind, and generous person but I did not want to leave her with nothing. I did not want to seem like we were taking advantage of her. I ended up venmoing her $750. She immediately got insulted and sent it right back to me. So there's that. We talked about it. She said "how dare you pay me to watch my nieces and nephews. I'm so excited to spend the week with them." I then told her when we dropped them off I would leave a credit card just in case. She pushed back but I'm doing it anyway. I'll give it to my 13 year old if she continues to balk. Better safe than sorry.

OP you did the right thing offering.

I'm also the single, childless aunt of my nieces and nephews. Unlike my siblings, who are married and very financially stable, I make mid 5 figures. I wouldn't charge-and haven't- for overnight care for the little ones, but I definitely wouldn't be able to shell out for all their food and outings. I wish I could but I can't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - Aunt is the most wonderful, kind, and generous person but I did not want to leave her with nothing. I did not want to seem like we were taking advantage of her. I ended up venmoing her $750. She immediately got insulted and sent it right back to me. So there's that. We talked about it. She said "how dare you pay me to watch my nieces and nephews. I'm so excited to spend the week with them." I then told her when we dropped them off I would leave a credit card just in case. She pushed back but I'm doing it anyway. I'll give it to my 13 year old if she continues to balk. Better safe than sorry.

I agree with the Aunt. Do not push back. What does that mean, better safe than sorry. Are you saying she literally can't afford to do whatever she is planning? If that is not the case, stop pushing the money on her. Seriously, it is insulting and it interferes with your relationship. Do not listen to most of DCUM on this. DCUM doesn't know how to do family. Don't treat her like a babysitter or a nanny. Instead, send her something nice (gift or giftcard to favorite place) AFTER it's done.

Agree. My sister would have reacted the same way and she is poor!! With my sister, is probably being a bag of groceries with some of the kids favorite vacation breakfasts and snacks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$500-700

Each? For 8 days???

Including payment for 16 hours a day of childcare, why do you think that's unreasonable?

If it wasn't an aunt you'd pay more than that.

She isn't paying for child care. She's leaving money for food and extras. After they return, she can get her a nice gift card for her time. So, they need dinner out and an activity or two for the weekend days they are gone.

She specifically said the money was to pay her for her troubles. So, yes, she's expecting this money to cover paying for childcare.

I would never leave my kids with such a person.

Ugh. You think that you are entitled to free childcare from your relatives and that the relative who agrees to watch *your* children should also be on the hook for paying for their food, entertainment, gas, etc....Seriously? Way to use a family member.

Literally NO ONE is saying that.

You're right. That particular person said that they would view the money left as payment for providing childcare. At the same time, she would be watching and presumably caring for 3 kids for 8 days so one can assume that she is aware that it costs money to feed and entertain 3 kids...so she would have to spend at least some of the money on the kids, right? It's a matter of semantics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - Aunt is the most wonderful, kind, and generous person but I did not want to leave her with nothing. I did not want to seem like we were taking advantage of her. I ended up venmoing her $750. She immediately got insulted and sent it right back to me. So there's that. We talked about it. She said "how dare you pay me to watch my nieces and nephews. I'm so excited to spend the week with them." I then told her when we dropped them off I would leave a credit card just in case. She pushed back but I'm doing it anyway. I'll give it to my 13 year old if she continues to balk. Better safe than sorry.

I agree with the Aunt. Do not push back. What does that mean, better safe than sorry. Are you saying she literally can't afford to do whatever she is planning? If that is not the case, stop pushing the money on her. Seriously, it is insulting and it interferes with your relationship. Do not listen to most of DCUM on this. DCUM doesn't know how to do family. Don't treat her like a babysitter or a nanny. Instead, send her something nice (gift or giftcard to favorite place) AFTER it's done.

Agree. My sister would have reacted the same way and she is poor!! With my sister, is probably being a bag of groceries with some of the kids favorite vacation breakfasts and snacks.

O.k....that is why you offer to leave money and possibly a credit card. Your sister wouldn't have to use the credit card and she could leave the money untouched but it'll be there if an emergency comes up and she does need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It also shows aunt that she should never ask anything of you OP as your view would be that she would need to compensate you for it. That you would only help her if he hired you and compensated you financially for your help.

Aunt isn't like you OP. She sees your kids as part of her famy and enjoys being with them and getting to do things for them. Her famy of famy is not that any time with her nieces/nephews must be paid time.

You can't see her side because the idea of helping without beig paid for it is foreign to you and you would frel insilted and taken advantage of if someone didn't pau you for your time. She can't see your side because the idea of being paid for helping family is foreign to her and insulted by your perception that she is hired help.

Lots of people in this thread on both sides.

I'm the OP and have watched my SILs 4 kids for 2 weeks and asked for nothing. So I basically had 7 children for 14 days. I took no money and was offered none. And I was fine with that. So not sure why my offering money implies I expect money. I offered money because my friend/their Aunt is doing us a huge favor, is not a blood relative, and doesn't have to do any of it and I didn't want my children to be a burden.

So, the aunt is not really their aunt?

Oh my, this is getting weirder by the day.

OP, are you making up some kind of soap opera?

[Anonymous]

This thread is making me think. But I'll offer my opinion (late 20s childless). If it were me (and it has been me) I'd want meals covered and if I'm staying in your home, would be great if you actually planned the meals your kids like, which I could prepare. Spending money for the kids would be great. A gift card after would be amazing but not expected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you figuring this per child? I’d give her $500 for the whole shabang.

And I would feed your kids nothing but water for 8 days.

Great! I don’t want my kids drinking soda and juice.We drink water all the time at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is making me think. But I'll offer my opinion (late 20s childless). If it were me (and it has been me) I'd want meals covered and if I'm staying in your home, would be great if you actually planned the meals your kids like, which I could prepare. Spending money for the kids would be great. A gift card after would be amazing but not expected.

True. Overnight care is alot, family or not.

[Anonymous]

Interesting thread - I watch my sisters kids all the time and she reciprocated so we never leave money for food or extra activities. We both have 2 kids. The only time I send her money is if she is hosting something like thanksgiving or Christmas for multiple days and we are eating every meal there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is making me think. But I'll offer my opinion (late 20s childless). If it were me (and it has been me) I'd want meals covered and if I'm staying in your home, would be great if you actually planned the meals your kids like, which I could prepare. Spending money for the kids would be great. A gift card after would be amazing but not expected.

True. Overnight care is alot, family or not.

No kidding! Who are these people offering a pittance? Wow. Must be nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$500-700

Each? For 8 days???

Including payment for 16 hours a day of childcare, why do you think that's unreasonable?

If it wasn't an aunt you'd pay more than that.

She isn't paying for child care. She's leaving money for food and extras. After they return, she can get her a nice gift card for her time. So, they need dinner out and an activity or two for the weekend days they are gone.

She specifically said the money was to pay her for her troubles. So, yes, she's expecting this money to cover paying for childcare.

I would never leave my kids with such a person.

An aunt? Someone who needs money? What kind of person would you not leave them with?