Sending your kid over to my house after lunch...when your kid hasn't eaten lunch yet

[Anonymous]

I'm happy to feed the kids, but my pet peeve is the wastage. I have neighborhood kids drop in, say they are hungry and after I offer them a granola bar or a pop tart or a cup of milk, they take a small bite of the bar, or a sip of the milk, then say they don't want it anymore and run away. Annoys the crap out of me. Food costs money and I hate the wastage. If that child didn't bite the bar, my kid could have had that as a snack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The worse scenario is when you send your kid to someone’s house from about 10am to 3pm and it turns out they didn’t feed your child lunch and that the kids only had a small snack. I had to stop doing play dates with a family who never fed my child. I knew the mom had had eating disorder issues, so the whole situation felt too bizarre to get involved in.

I agree. My kid had a play date from around 10 am to 3 or 4 pm, and they didn’t feed him at all. Not even a snack. It was the au pair, not the mom. At pick up, she made some comment about how he was probably really hungry since they hadn’t eaten at all. Um, ok?

So 5 hours of free childcare is not enough for you? Now the au pair has to feed your kid too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The worse scenario is when you send your kid to someone’s house from about 10am to 3pm and it turns out they didn’t feed your child lunch and that the kids only had a small snack. I had to stop doing play dates with a family who never fed my child. I knew the mom had had eating disorder issues, so the whole situation felt too bizarre to get involved in.

My sister had friends-twin girls-who lived on the same block and always came to our house begging for food. The mom also had an eating disorder. I learned when I babysat them that she was severely restricting food and only doing two small snack-sized meals a day. The dad was gone on travel a lot.

My parents’ solution was always a snack or to whip up spaghetti or something and let them eat as much as they wanted. They are now older and have eating disorders also. It was obvious they were being underfed and not like, greedy gluttons.

I’d always plan on at least carrots w/hummus or apples with peanut butter level of snacking or, if it is a ling play date, a sandwhich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm happy to feed the kids, but my pet peeve is the wastage. I have neighborhood kids drop in, say they are hungry and after I offer them a granola bar or a pop tart or a cup of milk, they take a small bite of the bar, or a sip of the milk, then say they don't want it anymore and run away. Annoys the crap out of me. Food costs money and I hate the wastage. If that child didn't bite the bar, my kid could have had that as a snack.

We had that. We stopped letting them have anything and explained why. They can do water and wait for dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We often eat a late lunch on the weekends. Sorry, but if we had a late breakfast they may not be hungry for lunch at 12:30. I assume I’m feeding kids a hearty snack when they come over - call it whatever meal you want.

+1

No "special lunch" necessary OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given all the HHIs people seem to tout on this forum is it really that much of a hardship to feed an extra meal or snack to an occasional visiting kid?

Exactly!

DCUM: we have so much $$$ for cars, vacations, supplementing, private school, blah blah blah


Also DCUM: why your kid coming to my place hungry for extra meals and hearty snacks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again, not a hardship to feed hungry kids. I just think it's rude and somewhat neglectful to send your kid over well after lunch time, without having been fed. Rude and weird.

Neglectful? Seriously?

If our kid wakes up later than yours on a weekend, and eats breakfast later than yours, AND comes to your house to play with your kid because our kids like each other...it's neglectful, rude, and weird that we don't eat on YOUR WEEKEND LUNCH schedule?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its embarrassing- but my kids would totally say this, even though I had fed them lunch. They aren't even really hungry- they are just curious what they will get in some one else's house.

This.

What's the big deal? Offer yogurt, fruit, cheese and crackers, PBJ, whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you do this? Playdate at 2pm, kid shows up and hasn't eaten lunch yet. We ate at 12:30. This has happened with 2 friends recently. NOT a situation where the kids are neglected or can't afford food. I have to make a special lunch for the kid and then my kids watch him eat. Rude for the parents to do this and uncomfortable for everyone.

Be generous - it’s food for God’s sake. Open your heart. Think about the takeaway you want your kids to have.

[Anonymous]

How hard is it to serve lunch to a child jeez. You invite kids over and get mad they're hungry.

[Anonymous]

Does the other parent drop the child to your house? I would ask the parent if the child has had lunch. Then say, "bring them back after they have had their lunch"

Or, if they are arriving on their own, send them home. Tell them, "go home. Come back after you've had your lunch"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does the other parent drop the child to your house? I would ask the parent if the child has had lunch. Then say, "bring them back after they have had their lunch"

Or, if they are arriving on their own, send them home. Tell them, "go home. Come back after you've had your lunch"

Do you seriously think anyone is going to return to your house if you behave like this? Unless that's what you're going for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does the other parent drop the child to your house? I would ask the parent if the child has had lunch. Then say, "bring them back after they have had their lunch"

Or, if they are arriving on their own, send them home. Tell them, "go home. Come back after you've had your lunch"

Do you seriously think anyone is going to return to your house if you behave like this? Unless that's what you're going for.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm happy to feed the kids, but my pet peeve is the wastage. I have neighborhood kids drop in, say they are hungry and after I offer them a granola bar or a pop tart or a cup of milk, they take a small bite of the bar, or a sip of the milk, then say they don't want it anymore and run away. Annoys the crap out of me. Food costs money and I hate the wastage. If that child didn't bite the bar, my kid could have had that as a snack.

You can just say waste. Wastage isn’t necessary.

[Anonymous]

Meh - I don't get worked up if kids say they are hungry. Kitchen is open (popcorn, cheese, nuts, chips/ salsa, etc.) and I'm happy to slice some apples. I'm not going to full blown fix a lunch that I wasn't already going to fix, but kids are welcome to eat at my house.