Sending your kid over to my house after lunch...when your kid hasn't eaten lunch yet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he didn’t eat and doesn’t just lie to get another lunch? Some kids would. I’d ask the parents before I believe the kid didn’t get any lunch.

Lol. I could totally see my kids doing this, especially if your snacks are better than mine.

Ask the parents when the kids get dropped off if they’ve had lunch.

+2
Yes, other people's food and snacks taste better than the ones at your own house.

OP- c'mon. The kid is thrilled at the chance of eating (new, junky, fun) snacks at his buddy's house. And kids can be bottomless pits sometimes so you're overreacting with "playdate kid wants lunch at my house" attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The worse scenario is when you send your kid to someone’s house from about 10am to 3pm and it turns out they didn’t feed your child lunch and that the kids only had a small snack. I had to stop doing play dates with a family who never fed my child. I knew the mom had had eating disorder issues, so the whole situation felt too bizarre to get involved in.

You sound like a moocher. That’s a loooong play date.

Be honest, did you ask for free babysitting and now you’re mad they didn’t do it the way you wanted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he didn’t eat and doesn’t just lie to get another lunch? Some kids would. I’d ask the parents before I believe the kid didn’t get any lunch.

We realized our neighbors were doing this among other things that were kind of rude and inappropriate, so we started being "unavailable" so much that they stopped interacting with us in that way. It became just too much. Not only were the kids always at my house, they constantly asked for food, drinks and snacks, etc. I always called over to make sure the parents were ok with them having whatever it was they were asking for. The parents always said, "Absolutely! They can have whatever." I would never let me kids spend that kind of time at someone's house and not require that they come home for major meals and snacks, etc. So annoying.

Once I saw their mom walk in their house with fast food bags as I was still making breakfast for my kids. The neighbor kids walked over to our house with the last bits of their meal in hands, finishing it up. Because my kids weren't quite ready to play yet since they hadn't yet eaten, I told the neighbor kids they were welcome to stay if they wanted but my kids needed a little more time since they hadn't had breakfast at that point. One of the kids said, "No big deal, I'd like a second breakfast."

To be clear, the neighbors seem to have enough resources to provide food for their children. I really think the kids liked the snacks and food we gave our kids better and the parents just didn't think much of the fact that they spent so much time at our house and pretty much ate lunch, snacks and occasionally dinner with us every day. It was an awkward situation to navigate and I really felt used and put upon. I'm sure I let it go on longer than I should have.

[Anonymous]

Given all the HHIs people seem to tout on this forum is it really that much of a hardship to feed an extra meal or snack to an occasional visiting kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know they haven’t eaten lunch? Did the parent tell you at drop off? Why are you asking a kid if they ate lunch at 2:30pm?

I did not ask - he told me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given all the HHIs people seem to tout on this forum is it really that much of a hardship to feed an extra meal or snack to an occasional visiting kid?

Of course it's not a hardship. I just think it's rude for parents to send their children over in the late afternoon without having eaten lunch

[Anonymous]

You people are weird. Feed the kids at your house or don't invite them over. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So? Ask the parents before the play date and tell the parent that your child eats at 12:30.

This is nothing to get bent out of shape about, OP.

Not bent out of shape, just curious and I think it's rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he didn’t eat and doesn’t just lie to get another lunch? Some kids would. I’d ask the parents before I believe the kid didn’t get any lunch.

We realized our neighbors were doing this among other things that were kind of rude and inappropriate, so we started being "unavailable" so much that they stopped interacting with us in that way. It became just too much. Not only were the kids always at my house, they constantly asked for food, drinks and snacks, etc. I always called over to make sure the parents were ok with them having whatever it was they were asking for. The parents always said, "Absolutely! They can have whatever." I would never let me kids spend that kind of time at someone's house and not require that they come home for major meals and snacks, etc. So annoying.

Once I saw their mom walk in their house with fast food bags as I was still making breakfast for my kids. The neighbor kids walked over to our house with the last bits of their meal in hands, finishing it up. Because my kids weren't quite ready to play yet since they hadn't yet eaten, I told the neighbor kids they were welcome to stay if they wanted but my kids needed a little more time since they hadn't had breakfast at that point. One of the kids said, "No big deal, I'd like a second breakfast."

To be clear, the neighbors seem to have enough resources to provide food for their children. I really think the kids liked the snacks and food we gave our kids better and the parents just didn't think much of the fact that they spent so much time at our house and pretty much ate lunch, snacks and occasionally dinner with us every day. It was an awkward situation to navigate and I really felt used and put upon. I'm sure I let it go on longer than I should have.

Yep, you were a doormat for sure. Regardless of HHI you don’t get to come over to my house and mooch on my stuff - food included. That goes double for my kids’ playmates. No, Larla, I don’t have juice or snacks for you. If you are hungry enough you can head back home and ask your mom. If I invited a kid for a play date, sure, I’ll serve a snack, but these drop in neighbor kids we see daily? Nah.

THis is what we mean, DCUM, by having a “closed kitchen” btw. It’s not about the money but the mess and disruption. Kids don’t need to eat all the time. My kids or the neighbors it doesn’t matter. Move it along, you can eat again at dinner guys.

[Anonymous]

Is it bc it’s the summer and people are just not on a strict schedule?

I would never do this, but that may be why.

[Anonymous]

My ex always does this. Excuse is “they had a late breakfast”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he didn’t eat and doesn’t just lie to get another lunch? Some kids would. I’d ask the parents before I believe the kid didn’t get any lunch.

We realized our neighbors were doing this among other things that were kind of rude and inappropriate, so we started being "unavailable" so much that they stopped interacting with us in that way. It became just too much. Not only were the kids always at my house, they constantly asked for food, drinks and snacks, etc. I always called over to make sure the parents were ok with them having whatever it was they were asking for. The parents always said, "Absolutely! They can have whatever." I would never let me kids spend that kind of time at someone's house and not require that they come home for major meals and snacks, etc. So annoying.

Once I saw their mom walk in their house with fast food bags as I was still making breakfast for my kids. The neighbor kids walked over to our house with the last bits of their meal in hands, finishing it up. Because my kids weren't quite ready to play yet since they hadn't yet eaten, I told the neighbor kids they were welcome to stay if they wanted but my kids needed a little more time since they hadn't had breakfast at that point. One of the kids said, "No big deal, I'd like a second breakfast."

To be clear, the neighbors seem to have enough resources to provide food for their children. I really think the kids liked the snacks and food we gave our kids better and the parents just didn't think much of the fact that they spent so much time at our house and pretty much ate lunch, snacks and occasionally dinner with us every day. It was an awkward situation to navigate and I really felt used and put upon. I'm sure I let it go on longer than I should have.

Yep, you were a doormat for sure. Regardless of HHI you don’t get to come over to my house and mooch on my stuff - food included. That goes double for my kids’ playmates. No, Larla, I don’t have juice or snacks for you. If you are hungry enough you can head back home and ask your mom. If I invited a kid for a play date, sure, I’ll serve a snack, but these drop in neighbor kids we see daily? Nah.

THis is what we mean, DCUM, by having a “closed kitchen” btw. It’s not about the money but the mess and disruption. Kids don’t need to eat all the time. My kids or the neighbors it doesn’t matter. Move it along, you can eat again at dinner guys.

Agreed! The neighbor family never reciprocated. Maybe once the kids were all outside playing in the snow and they offered hot chocolate to my kids. I think I kept letting it go on because I thought they would get a clue eventually. Now I'm sure it's abundantly clear. What is wrong with people?!?!?

[Anonymous]

I also think it’s a little neglectful to not feed your child a lunch and then send them to a play date at 2pm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he didn’t eat and doesn’t just lie to get another lunch? Some kids would. I’d ask the parents before I believe the kid didn’t get any lunch.

We realized our neighbors were doing this among other things that were kind of rude and inappropriate, so we started being "unavailable" so much that they stopped interacting with us in that way. It became just too much. Not only were the kids always at my house, they constantly asked for food, drinks and snacks, etc. I always called over to make sure the parents were ok with them having whatever it was they were asking for. The parents always said, "Absolutely! They can have whatever." I would never let me kids spend that kind of time at someone's house and not require that they come home for major meals and snacks, etc. So annoying.

Once I saw their mom walk in their house with fast food bags as I was still making breakfast for my kids. The neighbor kids walked over to our house with the last bits of their meal in hands, finishing it up. Because my kids weren't quite ready to play yet since they hadn't yet eaten, I told the neighbor kids they were welcome to stay if they wanted but my kids needed a little more time since they hadn't had breakfast at that point. One of the kids said, "No big deal, I'd like a second breakfast."

To be clear, the neighbors seem to have enough resources to provide food for their children. I really think the kids liked the snacks and food we gave our kids better and the parents just didn't think much of the fact that they spent so much time at our house and pretty much ate lunch, snacks and occasionally dinner with us every day. It was an awkward situation to navigate and I really felt used and put upon. I'm sure I let it go on longer than I should have.

Yep, you were a doormat for sure. Regardless of HHI you don’t get to come over to my house and mooch on my stuff - food included. That goes double for my kids’ playmates. No, Larla, I don’t have juice or snacks for you. If you are hungry enough you can head back home and ask your mom. If I invited a kid for a play date, sure, I’ll serve a snack, but these drop in neighbor kids we see daily? Nah.

THis is what we mean, DCUM, by having a “closed kitchen” btw. It’s not about the money but the mess and disruption. Kids don’t need to eat all the time. My kids or the neighbors it doesn’t matter. Move it along, you can eat again at dinner guys.

No. The closed kitchen was about adults, not kids. Don’t rewrite history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So? Ask the parents before the play date and tell the parent that your child eats at 12:30.

This is nothing to get bent out of shape about, OP.

Not bent out of shape, just curious and I think it's rude.

I agree, OP. If kids are having a 2pm play date, lunch is not in my plans. Feed your kid before they come over unless lunch was part of the plan.