Sending your kid over to my house after lunch...when your kid hasn't eaten lunch yet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its embarrassing- but my kids would totally say this, even though I had fed them lunch. They aren't even really hungry- they are just curious what they will get in some one else's house.

Yep, my kid would get hungry around 2 or 3 in the afternoon, and ask me, loudly, in public "Are we having lunch today?" I learned that if I just said "We already had lunch." strangers would glare at me like I was some kind of liar who clearly didn't feed her kid, so I started saying "Remember about two hours ago when I gave you that grilled cheese sandwich, with soup, apple slices and baby carrots? That was lunch. If you're hungry now we could have a snack, would you like a snack?"

Mine has an early lunch at school and dinner after school as activities are during dinner hour. Lots of reasons why.

[Anonymous]

That's pretty rude OP. But it's the reason I always have a box of frozen dinosaur nuggets in my freezer. Easy to pull some out and throw in the toaster oven. I agree with you though, that's some lazy parents who can't bother to feed their kids before sending them to someone else's house.

Also, I host a lot of playdates and a pet peeve of mine is when kids just constantly want to eat. Friends that go into the pantry and refrigerator do not get invited back.

[Anonymous]

sucker, my kids are always hungry and will act like we haven't fed them

[Anonymous]

From OP - I’m not rude to the kid or his parents and I always feed the kid with a smile on my face. Just wondering why parents would not feed their kid lunch before a 2pm play date. I know the kid was telling the truth about not having had lunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to feed kids at my house. But I’m a great host.

I was too when my kids were at home. They were always welcome to have whatever they wanted, kid appropriate, from my pantry or fridge. I loved having the kids gather at my house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From OP - I’m not rude to the kid or his parents and I always feed the kid with a smile on my face. Just wondering why parents would not feed their kid lunch before a 2pm play date. I know the kid was telling the truth about not having had lunch.

Genuine question--how do you know this? I absolutely know kids who would say they hadn't had lunch (when they had) because they were hungry or because they wanted to see what they'd get at someone else's house. Maybe he was offered lunch at home and declined or didn't eat much, but now he's hungry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's pretty rude OP. But it's the reason I always have a box of frozen dinosaur nuggets in my freezer. Easy to pull some out and throw in the toaster oven. I agree with you though, that's some lazy parents who can't bother to feed their kids before sending them to someone else's house.

Also, I host a lot of playdates and a pet peeve of mine is when kids just constantly want to eat. Friends that go into the pantry and refrigerator do not get invited back.

Goodness, they’re just kids. They need to be taught what is appropriate— if you don’t want them in your pantry, tell them it’s not ok! My parents didn’t teach me manners when I was a kid, and I am so glad that my friends’ parents taught me these things instead of never inviting me back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he didn’t eat and doesn’t just lie to get another lunch? Some kids would. I’d ask the parents before I believe the kid didn’t get any lunch.

We realized our neighbors were doing this among other things that were kind of rude and inappropriate, so we started being "unavailable" so much that they stopped interacting with us in that way. It became just too much. Not only were the kids always at my house, they constantly asked for food, drinks and snacks, etc. I always called over to make sure the parents were ok with them having whatever it was they were asking for. The parents always said, "Absolutely! They can have whatever." I would never let me kids spend that kind of time at someone's house and not require that they come home for major meals and snacks, etc. So annoying.

Once I saw their mom walk in their house with fast food bags as I was still making breakfast for my kids. The neighbor kids walked over to our house with the last bits of their meal in hands, finishing it up. Because my kids weren't quite ready to play yet since they hadn't yet eaten, I told the neighbor kids they were welcome to stay if they wanted but my kids needed a little more time since they hadn't had breakfast at that point. One of the kids said, "No big deal, I'd like a second breakfast."

To be clear, the neighbors seem to have enough resources to provide food for their children. I really think the kids liked the snacks and food we gave our kids better and the parents just didn't think much of the fact that they spent so much time at our house and pretty much ate lunch, snacks and occasionally dinner with us every day. It was an awkward situation to navigate and I really felt used and put upon. I'm sure I let it go on longer than I should have.

Yep, you were a doormat for sure. Regardless of HHI you don’t get to come over to my house and mooch on my stuff - food included. That goes double for my kids’ playmates. No, Larla, I don’t have juice or snacks for you. If you are hungry enough you can head back home and ask your mom. If I invited a kid for a play date, sure, I’ll serve a snack, but these drop in neighbor kids we see daily? Nah.

THis is what we mean, DCUM, by having a “closed kitchen” btw. It’s not about the money but the mess and disruption. Kids don’t need to eat all the time. My kids or the neighbors it doesn’t matter. Move it along, you can eat again at dinner guys.

Agreed! The neighbor family never reciprocated. Maybe once the kids were all outside playing in the snow and they offered hot chocolate to my kids. I think I kept letting it go on because I thought they would get a clue eventually. Now I'm sure it's abundantly clear. What is wrong with people?!?!?

Are you guys trolls? We're talking about kids. They like snacks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he didn’t eat and doesn’t just lie to get another lunch? Some kids would. I’d ask the parents before I believe the kid didn’t get any lunch.

+1

I’d send a casual text to check in. “Larlo said he hasn’t eaten lunch yet but it’s already mid-afternoon so I’m guessing he’s just looking for a snack. Are you okay with me setting him up with some carrots, hummus and a cheese stick before the kids get into playing?” Or something to that effect. But if the child is older than 7ish I’d just give the healthy snack and let them be a little hungry and not let the parents mooch like this.

Yes, but instead of offering carrots, hummus and cheese, I would say, is it ok if I set him up with (fill in the blank with a food that would horrify the mom)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to feed kids at my house. But I’m a great host.

I was too when my kids were at home. They were always welcome to have whatever they wanted, kid appropriate, from my pantry or fridge. I loved having the kids gather at my house.

Me too. Kids eat so little, having to feed them is a small price to pay for their company.

[Anonymous]

Why? One or.both of the parents have a disordered eating problem and ends up starving the kids, or they want to keep the kids "skinny."

[Anonymous]

A kid is hungry in my house, I feed them.
People eat meals at different times, so maybe they ate a big late breakfast or had a filling mid-morning snack.

I’d feed the kid, no biggie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A kid is hungry in my house, I feed them.
People eat meals at different times, so maybe they ate a big late breakfast or had a filling mid-morning snack.

I’d feed the kid, no biggie.

And to prevent combat by the kitchen closed people, I casually keep a watch on the clock. Most kids leave the table/finish a meal or snack in 15m. No more than 20. They def don’t get to roam back into the kitchen continuing to eat after the first round of what I’ve offered. Not strictly keeping track of time, but I’d be half-wary if they came back within two hours. Then it’s just boredom or habit. I’d offer a drink & get them a better activity.

[Anonymous]

I gladly feed kids who come to our house, unannounced or announced.

I also teach my child how to be a host and offer water and snacks.

I have found that kids like to see what food is available at other homes.

I've also found that kids whose parents have disordered eating problem, like a prior poster noted, are very hungry and want snacks.

[Anonymous]

Eh I don't really care. I can make a quick peanut butter sandwich or grilled cheese. Even if they are just begging a 2nd lunch, this isn't a huge deal. If it's an irritating pattern, have those children over less. But honestly feeding my kid's friends seems like something I am usually more than happy to do.