Sending your kid over to my house after lunch...when your kid hasn't eaten lunch yet

[Anonymous]

I’m happy to feed kids at my house. But I’m a great host.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The worse scenario is when you send your kid to someone’s house from about 10am to 3pm and it turns out they didn’t feed your child lunch and that the kids only had a small snack. I had to stop doing play dates with a family who never fed my child. I knew the mom had had eating disorder issues, so the whole situation felt too bizarre to get involved in.

You sound like a moocher. That’s a loooong play date.

Be honest, did you ask for free babysitting and now you’re mad they didn’t do it the way you wanted?

When your children aren’t under 5, it’s not that long. The weird thing is that family used to push for long play dates and sleepovers. After a couple of days with no food at mealtimes, my kids refused to go there.

[Anonymous]

My kids eat lunch early and I always feed them before play dates.

However, we have friends who wake up late on weekends and may eat breakfast at 10:30-11 so they may not eat lunch or eat a late lunch.

We eat breakfast everyday around 7:30, lunch at 12 and dinner at 6. I can understand others are not on the same schedule. I would have made the kid a sandwich or some chicken fingers. Really not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to feed kids at my house. But I’m a great host.

Me too. It is not a hardship to feed someone for me. God knows we cook far more than we need and I am always freezing extra food. I offer food and drinks to every one who comes to my house including the cleaning woman.

I have a very high functioning and well run household. This means that it is not a hardship to feed guests. I also want the kids to hang at my house so that I can keep an eye them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to feed kids at my house. But I’m a great host.

Me too. It is not a hardship to feed someone for me. God knows we cook far more than we need and I am always freezing extra food. I offer food and drinks to every one who comes to my house including the cleaning woman.

I have a very high functioning and well run household. This means that it is not a hardship to feed guests. I also want the kids to hang at my house so that I can keep an eye them.

+1, its being decent. I'd rather people be at my house. I feed everyone, including if someone is coming to work on the house. I had contractors for weeks on our basement and fed them every day. Same when we did the siding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to feed kids at my house. But I’m a great host.

Me too. It is not a hardship to feed someone for me. God knows we cook far more than we need and I am always freezing extra food. I offer food and drinks to every one who comes to my house including the cleaning woman.

I have a very high functioning and well run household. This means that it is not a hardship to feed guests. I also want the kids to hang at my house so that I can keep an eye them.

+1, its being decent. I'd rather people be at my house. I feed everyone, including if someone is coming to work on the house. I had contractors for weeks on our basement and fed them every day. Same when we did the siding.

This is not doable when both parents work.

[Anonymous]

This was interesting, because I will happily feed kids as much as they want, but I’d never send my own kid over from 10-3 (!!!) without at least offering to send a lunch or money or something with her. Of course that would probably usually be declined, but I don’t just assume other people will feed my kid, especially not a full meal, and I don’t think I’d be offended if they didn’t... as long as they weren’t intentionally withholding food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to feed kids at my house. But I’m a great host.

Me too. It is not a hardship to feed someone for me. God knows we cook far more than we need and I am always freezing extra food. I offer food and drinks to every one who comes to my house including the cleaning woman.

I have a very high functioning and well run household. This means that it is not a hardship to feed guests. I also want the kids to hang at my house so that I can keep an eye them.

+1, its being decent. I'd rather people be at my house. I feed everyone, including if someone is coming to work on the house. I had contractors for weeks on our basement and fed them every day. Same when we did the siding.

This is not doable when both parents work.

How is it not doable? Nights? Weekends? If you don't want kids over, fine, but is doable. Some parents also work from home or have flexible hours. For contractors, how hard is it to set out a cooler with drinks and a few snacks each day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was interesting, because I will happily feed kids as much as they want, but I’d never send my own kid over from 10-3 (!!!) without at least offering to send a lunch or money or something with her. Of course that would probably usually be declined, but I don’t just assume other people will feed my kid, especially not a full meal, and I don’t think I’d be offended if they didn’t... as long as they weren’t intentionally withholding food.

I wouldn't take your money. I'd hope you'd feed my kid and pay for it if needed in exchange. And, if you don't, I'll still feed your kid but will not send over mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was interesting, because I will happily feed kids as much as they want, but I’d never send my own kid over from 10-3 (!!!) without at least offering to send a lunch or money or something with her. Of course that would probably usually be declined, but I don’t just assume other people will feed my kid, especially not a full meal, and I don’t think I’d be offended if they didn’t... as long as they weren’t intentionally withholding food.

I wouldn't take your money. I'd hope you'd feed my kid and pay for it if needed in exchange. And, if you don't, I'll still feed your kid but will not send over mine.

???

I just said I’d happily feed your kid (and it would t occur to me not to). I also said I wouldn’t expect most people to take my money or a bagged lunch. What are you missing? All I said is that it wouldn’t occur to me to be offended that someone didn’t feed MY kid a full meal if we hadn’t communicated about it beforehand. I’m saying I hold a double-standard— in favor of others.

[Anonymous]

Again, not a hardship to feed hungry kids. I just think it's rude and somewhat neglectful to send your kid over well after lunch time, without having been fed. Rude and weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was interesting, because I will happily feed kids as much as they want, but I’d never send my own kid over from 10-3 (!!!) without at least offering to send a lunch or money or something with her. Of course that would probably usually be declined, but I don’t just assume other people will feed my kid, especially not a full meal, and I don’t think I’d be offended if they didn’t... as long as they weren’t intentionally withholding food.

I wouldn't take your money. I'd hope you'd feed my kid and pay for it if needed in exchange. And, if you don't, I'll still feed your kid but will not send over mine.

???

I just said I’d happily feed your kid (and it would t occur to me not to). I also said I wouldn’t expect most people to take my money or a bagged lunch. What are you missing? All I said is that it wouldn’t occur to me to be offended that someone didn’t feed MY kid a full meal if we hadn’t communicated about it beforehand. I’m saying I hold a double-standard— in favor of others.

This is me directly above.

In re-reading, I see where the confusion came from. See, I was literally saying what *I* do. Not “if I were you, I would...” When I said I’d offer to send food or money, that’s exactly what I meant. *I* do that. I was NOT saying that’s what other people should do. I could see how it could come off that way if you read it in a snooty tone. “Well Iiiii would neeeeevaaah...” But I meant exactly the opposite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to feed kids at my house. But I’m a great host.

This. Is it really a big deal to make a PB&J and toss some baby carrots on the side? So what if your child watches him eat. They are spending time together. You sound like the type of person that is annoyed by everything.

[Anonymous]

I think it's odd to send your kid on a playdate hungry.

[Anonymous]

“Mrs Smith I didn’t eat lunch.”
“Ok honey well we did so why don’t you run home and eat something real quick and then come back. We will still be here.”