My SO bought a house not using my friend's SO as her realtor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a Realtor, and almost all of my friends have bought or sold with me. I have two friends who did not sell/buy with me. One reached out beforehand and said they preferred to use a stranger and not mix business with personal things. I said I totally understood and wished them luck. The other mentioned needing to sell her home, said she would reach out shortly, and then the next thing I knew, she had listed with someone else and pretended like nothing happened. That was hurtful....like she thought I was too dumb to notice she was selling or something. A quick text to say that they decided to go in a different direction (I think her husband wanted to choose the Realtor) would have gone a long way. I no longer consider her a close friend, just an acquaintance. It's totally your right to use whoever you want, but a heads up to your friend would have shown you value her, your relationship, and her ability to do her job.

Yeah, sorry, no. My best friend is a veterinarian and I would never feel like I needed to give her a heads up or explanation about why I choose another vet to show her that I are her and her ability to do her job. We are friends. That is just understood. This is high school drama crap for the extremely insecure.

For a service business like veterinarian, your friend is probably hurt that you don't use her company (assuming she owns the company), even if she doesn't show it. If she just works for someone else and gets paid the same regardless, then it's probably a lot less hurtful.

For other services like doctor or lawyer, many do not work with friends due to the personal nature of their services. I'm getting a divorce, and a good friend of mine who is a family attorney told me she doesn't work with friends. She has used me as her Realtor as that is a much less personal business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a Realtor, and almost all of my friends have bought or sold with me. I have two friends who did not sell/buy with me. One reached out beforehand and said they preferred to use a stranger and not mix business with personal things. I said I totally understood and wished them luck. The other mentioned needing to sell her home, said she would reach out shortly, and then the next thing I knew, she had listed with someone else and pretended like nothing happened. That was hurtful....like she thought I was too dumb to notice she was selling or something. A quick text to say that they decided to go in a different direction (I think her husband wanted to choose the Realtor) would have gone a long way. I no longer consider her a close friend, just an acquaintance. It's totally your right to use whoever you want, but a heads up to your friend would have shown you value her, your relationship, and her ability to do her job.

Because she did not use you? If so, hardly seems like it was a close friendship then, rather just a potential business transaction waiting to happen, sadly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i know a real estate agent whose very close friend of 40 years used a “stranger” real estate agent. My acquaintance was very hurt, but not because she saw her friend as a dollar sign. She felt that no one would have worked harder to represent her friend and protect friend’s interests than she would have. She felt like friend lacked confidence in her professional abilities.

Of course, as an outsider, I recognize that my acquaintance’s friend did absolutely nothing wrong and that it’s a good idea to separate friendship from business deals, but I mention this because Jane isn’t necessarily upset about the missed commission. She may also be embarrassed to face mutual friends who might ask questions/make assumptions about how you chose your real estate agent and why you didn’t use Jane.

Well to be fair, what on earth do I know about my friends' professional abilities? I see them in a social setting, not their workplace. I have no idea if they are good or not. I am just not familiar with that side of them. Why do I need to believe you're the bestest doctor in the world to be friends with you?

I also think it's weird for people to be so invested into who their friends use and why or why not. It assumes a level of personal knowledge about other people's business that I personally was never able to imagine.