I don’t want my kids in their car. Reasonable?
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Anonymous
Toronto mom, i am with you. I can see myself being you, my toddler is only 3 though. My ILs have been trying to take her to the park, or "go places", i shot it down. They are 80 and at this point pretty questionable drivers, my husband is reluctant to ride with them. I can't see anyone outside of the family driving my kid. |
Anonymous
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(this thread is off the rails insane) But... can you suggest that your parents rent a car? We've done that for road trips when we had an older car ourselves. I don't let my in-laws drive my kids on the freeway (they can drive them short distances on streets where I know they're not going above 25 or 30 MPH) given their age and driving records. It's caused a lot of tension in my family. So I honestly get both sides here. Another idea might be to rent a big van or something and all go together? Not sure you'd save enough on gas for 1 big car versus 2 smaller ones, but that way you get the road trip singalong fun and togetherness that folks may be wanting?
For the record, my kids drive with the parents of their friends relatively often, and I offer rides to their friends... we have bumble seats for extra boosters when needed... I don't check safety ratings of the cars, but if I knew someone drove a total beater and the destination required freeway driving or was more than 10 minutes away, I might decline a carpool and offer to drive the kids myself. |
Anonymous
Omg, he must feel SO smothered! Do you wait outside of his classes to drive him home too? |
Anonymous
And I have no doubt that you strongly encouraged him to stay home, right? |
Anonymous
First, your argument doesn't work with me because I DO stay home with my kids, no "lame" job for me, sorry. Second & more importantly... I'm very sorry for whatever traumatized you in your life, that you're now raising your children lead by your own fears. Keeping your children home for as long as you possibily can is FAR from being a good parent and it's definitely not something that you should be commended for. You're doing this for YOU, because you want to keep them close... this is not in THEIR best interest. Your job is to get your child ready to spread their wings, not make them afraid to fly away from your nest. While I could drive my kids everywhere, why should I do so when I've got a community of supportive moms helping each other out? We're not driving to Beirut & back, lol... we're driving a few miles tops. Oh & FYI, kids LOVE carpool! The moms are helping one another out & the kids are in the back seat laughing, singing, joking, bonding & making memories they'll always remember. Your job as a parent is to instill your children with the confidence that they could go out into the world & conquer it on their own if they choose to. Your job is to teach them strength, empathy, logic, morals, values and insight, so they can go off and become productive, respected members of society. You've become a literal roadblock to their adult lives (they may be teenagers, must they're still adults). You're impeding their growth & hampering their natural progression into the world. How do you envision their futures? Live home through college while their doting mom continues to cook, clean & do their laundry... Off to graduation - still at home... On to business school - still home... Getting jobs - still living at home, yay... Meeting their prospective wives (that part may be tough still living at home). After the wedding - the wife moves into your home (sleeping on those twin beds still, right?) like one big happy family? Sigh... You need to seek therapy & find out why your so afraid to let them out of your site & out of your control (if you haven't guessed it, this is all about retaining control). Slowly start to cut the apron strings, because one day when they're swapping stories with their college mates or future colleagues & they hear how other kids grew up, they WILL end up resenting you for keeping them so stifled, sheltered... ... and tethered to your hip. . |
Anonymous
Nope |
Anonymous
They can live at home as long as they want. UNTIL they get married. No I haven’t done their laundry since they were 12. My BIL lived at home until he was married at 29. He saved every cent. He had 600k saved up. No debt. That’s just smart. |
Anonymous
This is insane. |
Anonymous
So your kids never spent the night at a friend's house? I rode in so many of my friends' parents' cars growing up. |
Anonymous
And there it is. |
Anonymous
| OP, this thread has gone way off the rails with all the posts from crazy mom, but what kinds of cars are you talking about? And do your in-laws have driving or health issues? I wouldn't let my MIL drive my kids on a highway but she has severe anxiety about that (so she probably wouldn't want to anyway). I currently wouldn't let my FIL drive them on a highway either because he has been having a lot of health issues. But, he does have a car I'd consider safe (although I don't actually know). Unless their car is really old I'm having a hard time believing it's as unsafe as you say it is, so what exactly do they drive? And what do you drive that's so safe? |
Anonymous
| Have your parents fly down and meet them there. I am a anxious mom with major trust issues so I get it, |
Anonymous
| What's your rating vs grandma's? |
Anonymous
You are certainly dedicated to making your insurance company rich. |
Anonymous
You and your husband have never gone away for a couple days for a couples weekend or a wedding or ANYTHING in 20 years? That makes me so sad for you AND your kids! |