Wife sacrificed career for kids/husband wants her to make more money

[Anonymous]

I think a live-in Nanny or Au Pair would be an excellent option.

As well as divorce.
I am 1000% serious here.

Because you have all the responsibilities + stress that all Single Mothers carry.
Get rid of the deadbeat.

[Anonymous]

I don't mean for this to sound snarky....you don't seem to have accepted your life has changed and you cannot continue on the path you thought you charted. You are going to have to give up thoughts of a job that requires significant travel. I get it. I had one of those jobs working for an international aid/development organization. I had/have high demand skills and traveled all over. I loved the 'staff development' aspect of it. Yet, after my 2nd kid was diagnosed with SN, I had to accept that that career was over. I was/am the primary breadwinner in my family so staying home wasn't an option. My situation was/is different because my DH was always a nearly-full partner in childcare. But with 2 kid with SN, I had to leave my high profile, demanding, rewarding job for something that allowed more flexibility. I left my 'career' and settled for a 'job'.

I agree with PPs that you need a situation that allows you to have a job that meets your financial requirements - and it's not likely to allow you to volunteer so much at your kids' school. Plan for a divorce so you're not surprised and left hanging in the wind. You need to adapt to your new reality and that likely means revising your expectations and old plans. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP-We found out he had a medical issue that led to a lot of the anger issues/not wanting to deal with baby. Before getting treatment, we were told now or never on a second kid because the treatment would affect his ability to have kids. I trusted that his issues would be resolved, per the doctors, and we decided to try for a second kid.

I think the answer here is to go the nanny route. I do feel resentment for giving up my career and want to go back.

I am guessing he had undiagnosed diabetes. Please. Not an excuse to be a prick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't mean for this to sound snarky....you don't seem to have accepted your life has changed and you cannot continue on the path you thought you charted. You are going to have to give up thoughts of a job that requires significant travel. I get it. I had one of those jobs working for an international aid/development organization. I had/have high demand skills and traveled all over. I loved the 'staff development' aspect of it. Yet, after my 2nd kid was diagnosed with SN, I had to accept that that career was over. I was/am the primary breadwinner in my family so staying home wasn't an option. My situation was/is different because my DH was always a nearly-full partner in childcare. But with 2 kid with SN, I had to leave my high profile, demanding, rewarding job for something that allowed more flexibility. I left my 'career' and settled for a 'job'.

I agree with PPs that you need a situation that allows you to have a job that meets your financial requirements - and it's not likely to allow you to volunteer so much at your kids' school. Plan for a divorce so you're not surprised and left hanging in the wind. You need to adapt to your new reality and that likely means revising your expectations and old plans. I'm sorry.

Thank you for your thoughtfulness. Can I ask what your transitioned to? and did you take a pay cut? I find my skills set working cultivating movements overseas not very transferable. I have a plan, a long term plan to be fully prepared should we divorce. For now, I need to return full time and demonstrate my skills and commitment to work. a few years from now, should we divorce, I will feel more secure with a steady job and colleagues who know I can deliver.